Are You Stuck in a Pursuer-Distancer Dynamic? How to Break Free! | E386

Are You Stuck in a Pursuer-Distancer Dynamic? How to Break Free! | E386

As a couples counselor, I can tell you that one of the most pernicious and common relationship patterns that couples get stuck in is the pursuer-withdrawer dynamic. This happens when one partner handles conflict by approaching it head-on, and the other has a tendency to pull away, shut down, or withdraw. The more the pursuer pursues, the more the withdrawer withdraws, and the pattern can become very intense and even a little scary. The pursuer may start getting emotionally elevated, raising their voice, or even physically following their partner from room to room. The withdrawer, meanwhile, feels totally overwhelmed and unable to engage the more their partner pursues them. Nothing gets resolved, and typically, neither partner is fully aware of their own role in perpetuating the dynamic. Luckily, this is one of those problems that is totally solvable with the help of a good marriage counselor. When you understand why this relationship pattern happens, what your role is in the dynamic, and what you can do instead, everything can shift. On today's episode of the podcast, we're exploring how to break the pursuer-distancer pattern and create a healthier relationship where you can both feel heard, understood, and most of all, emotionally safe. I hope you'll join me! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby P.S. — Listening to a podcast is a great starting point, but it's not enough to break a deeply entrenched pursuer-distancer pattern. If you would like to put a stop to this dynamic for good, schedule a free consultation with an expert couples counselor on my team.

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Are You Mad at Me? How to Calm People‑Pleasing Anxiety | Meg Josephson | Happiness | E465

Are You Mad at Me? How to Calm People‑Pleasing Anxiety | Meg Josephson | Happiness | E465

Have you ever stared at your phone, rereading a text that ended with a period and spiraled into, “Oh no… are they mad at me?” Or maybe someone didn’t heart your Instagram story, and suddenly your nerv...

4 Elo 202555min

"Sorry" Isn't Enough: How to Repair Trust in Your Relationship | LHS Classic E254

"Sorry" Isn't Enough: How to Repair Trust in Your Relationship | LHS Classic E254

Trust: It's the glue of secure attachment that holds a relationship together. If it's broken, everything changes. How do you repair trust once it's been damaged? The fantasy is that we can say "sorry...

29 Heinä 202558min

Feeling Sexually Rejected By Your Partner? Here’s What to Do…| LHS Classic

Feeling Sexually Rejected By Your Partner? Here’s What to Do…| LHS Classic

“Why doesn’t my partner want me?” — If that question has ever kept you up at night, this one’s for you.  Lately, I’ve been hearing from so many of you that this topic — what to do when your partner ...

21 Heinä 202552min

From The Heart: A Personal Update About How We're Growing, Together | E464

From The Heart: A Personal Update About How We're Growing, Together | E464

I have something personal to share. This podcast — this weekly connection with you — is one of my favorite parts of my work. It's not even fair to call it work. If I won the lottery and never had to ...

18 Heinä 20258min

Work, Kids, Repeat? How to Avoid Getting Burned Out... From Your Life | E463

Work, Kids, Repeat? How to Avoid Getting Burned Out... From Your Life | E463

Have you ever had one of those mornings where you're prepping for an important work meeting, juggling a million to-dos and chores, and trying to get the kids out the door with lunches packed and shoes...

14 Heinä 202554min

Do Therapists Give Advice? Why They Hold Back and How to Actually Get Direction | E462

Do Therapists Give Advice? Why They Hold Back and How to Actually Get Direction | E462

Have you ever been in the middle of a therapy session and found yourself silently (or loudly 😂) begging for advice from your therapist? You lay it all out — the overthinking, the relationship questio...

7 Heinä 202550min

Suffering in Silence: The Mental Health Battles Men Are Fighting Alone | E461

Suffering in Silence: The Mental Health Battles Men Are Fighting Alone | E461

You might look like you’ve got it all together. You show up. You work hard. You smile, you joke, you say you’re “fine.” But inside? You might be carrying more than anyone knows.  This is especially t...

30 Kesä 20251h 15min

Are You Getting Scammed by Your “Online Therapist”? The Shocking Fraud Behind Seven Cups Therapy | E460

Are You Getting Scammed by Your “Online Therapist”? The Shocking Fraud Behind Seven Cups Therapy | E460

What if the “therapist” you’re pouring your heart out to… isn’t a therapist at all? In this jaw-dropping episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, I’m joined by investigative journalists Re...

23 Kesä 202544min

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