#386 - Are You Stuck in a Pursuer-Distancer Dynamic? How to Break Free

#386 - Are You Stuck in a Pursuer-Distancer Dynamic? How to Break Free

As a couples counselor, I can tell you that one of the most pernicious and common relationship patterns that couples get stuck in is the pursuer-withdrawer dynamic. This happens when one partner handles conflict by approaching it head-on, and the other has a tendency to pull away, shut down, or withdraw. The more the pursuer pursues, the more the withdrawer withdraws, and the pattern can become very intense and even a little scary. The pursuer may start getting emotionally elevated, raising their voice, or even physically following their partner from room to room. The withdrawer, meanwhile, feels totally overwhelmed and unable to engage the more their partner pursues them. Nothing gets resolved, and typically, neither partner is fully aware of their own role in perpetuating the dynamic. Luckily, this is one of those problems that is totally solvable with the help of a good marriage counselor. When you understand why this relationship pattern happens, what your role is in the dynamic, and what you can do instead, everything can shift. On today's episode of the podcast, we're exploring how to break the pursuer-distancer pattern and create a healthier relationship where you can both feel heard, understood, and most of all, emotionally safe. I hope you'll join me! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby P.S. — Listening to a podcast is a great starting point, but it's not enough to break a deeply entrenched pursuer-distancer pattern. If you would like to put a stop to this dynamic for good, schedule a free consultation with an expert couples counselor on my team.

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#78 - What To Do When You're Worried About Your Relationship

#78 - What To Do When You're Worried About Your Relationship

Is Your Relationship Just... Off? Have you been feeling worried about your relationship? Are you feeling resentful, or angry with your partner? Are you feeling hurt, or shut out? Do you feel like the...

8 Joulu 201539min

#77 - Time To Get Help? Do It Right.

#77 - Time To Get Help? Do It Right.

Are You Thinking of Getting Help? Deciding to reach out for professional help is a big decision, and I know it's not one you take lightly. In fact, if you're like most people you've probably  been wor...

17 Marras 201554min

#76 - How to Recover From a Breakup and Heal Your Heart

#76 - How to Recover From a Breakup and Heal Your Heart

Let’s be real: you’re not just “going through a breakup” — you’re surviving a full-on emotional earthquake. Your appetite’s gone, your brain is a 24/7 rerun of “Why did they leave?”, and you may or ma...

6 Loka 201541min

#75 - Your Relationship Questions, Answered.

#75 - Your Relationship Questions, Answered.

Help For Your Relationship I've spent a decade as a Denver marriage counselor -- and I've been married for nearly twenty years myself. I've learned a thing or two about relationships, along the way. ...

21 Syys 201545min

#74 - Finding Forgiveness

#74 - Finding Forgiveness

Every good life coach and therapist knows that, for many of our clients, finding forgiveness can be an incredibly important and powerfully healing part of the personal transformation process. This is ...

31 Elo 201539min

#73 - Blended Family Problems? Here's Some Advice...

#73 - Blended Family Problems? Here's Some Advice...

How to Make Your Blended Family Work Despite the best of intentions, some marriages just don't work out. Many, if not most, people do go on to find love again, and eventually remarry. It's not uncomm...

17 Elo 201539min

#72 - How To Reprogram Your Brain: Mindhacking

#72 - How To Reprogram Your Brain: Mindhacking

On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm speaking with Sir John Hargrave about his new book, "Mindhacking." In it, Sir John takes a fresh and funny look at how our thoughts deter...

3 Elo 201547min

#71 - The Pursuit of Happiness: Nomadic Souls

#71 - The Pursuit of Happiness: Nomadic Souls

SO many of our therapy or life coaching clients come to us with one core wish: To be happy. No matter what their current concerns, obstacles, or challenges, the hope of happiness is always the shining...

27 Heinä 201553min

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