#405 - How to Take Your Power Back After a Breakup

It's a brand new DECADE! To celebrate, we're doing something special in this episode: I'm going to walk you, step by step, through a "growth experience" that will help you create your very own Ten Year Plan so that you have clarity about where you want to be (and how to get there!) over the next ten years. To help you get the most out of this, I've created some free resources to assist you: Text 10YPlan to 33777 OR visit GrowingSelf.com/My-Ten-Year-Plan to get access to my (totally free) Online 10 Year Planning Tool and / or printable pdf.  Then, together, we'll walk through this powerful activity together. By the end you'll have new self-awareness, clarity about what you want, but, most importantly, knowledge about specifically what you need to do (and not do!) to achieve your ideal reality 10 years from now. Let's do this! And HAPPY NEW YEAR! Your partner in growth, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

31 Joulu 201932min

It's so easy — especially for smart, determined, proactive and successful people — to spend a lot (a LOT) of time and energy pursuing goals that, at the end of the day, are not actually the most important or meaningful ones to them. Sounds crazy, but it's true: We're all vulnerable to absorbing messages from our families, social media, our culture, and certainly the combined efforts of many savvy marketers about what we should want. About who we should be. About what we should do with our lives. You Are The Author of Your Own Life Story At the end of the day, buying in to someone else's hopes and dreams for your life can lead you down the wrong path. Even if you — by virtue of your intelligence, determination, and hard work — are successful in creating all of it and achieving the ideals that you were handed, they will still feel hollow to you. Because they were never genuinely meaningful and important to YOU. And you will have spent so much of your precious time, energy, love, and devotion to achieving goals that — at the end of the day — could have been spent creating the life and reality that was your heart's desire. You deserve better. You deserve to own your own goals and create a destiny that will lead to your heart overflowing with authentic happiness and gratitude. You deserve, at the very end of your precious life, to have zero regrets.You deserve to feel pride and appreciation for what you have created, and what will last long after your time on this earth has passed. How to Design Your Life Around What Matters Most To help you create this reality — the clear-eyed pursuit and attainment of the goals that are actually the most important and precious to YOU — I have a very special gift for you. On the latest episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I had the honor and pleasure of interviewing a very wise and insightful man, author Chris Meyer. Chris has a fascinating story: He spent many years as the director of a funeral home. (Stay with me here!) Over the years, he sat with many families as they planned their final goodbyes. He sat with people who were dying, and grieving families, and heard their stories — their gratitude, and their regrets, and the profound insights into what really mattered.... from the perspective of looking back on their lives. Today, he is here to share these insights directly with YOU. He is bringing you the messages from people at the end, so that YOU can design your life with intention, clarity and love, and maintain you focus on what really matters most to you. It's a heartfelt gift for you, on this edition of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. I sincerely hope that it helps you get clarity and self-awareness for how you'd like to design YOUR life as we enter into a new decade, together. With love, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

24 Joulu 20191h 13min

Let's face it: We all have moments. Moments when we feel (justifiably!) angry or frustrated with other people, and moments when we lose our cool. While everyone is in agreement that there is a time and place for healthy anger, sometimes the lines can get blurred around when you're setting appropriate limits.... and when you're probably being unnecessarily aggressive about making your feelings known. How do we find that balance? The balance between not being a pushover and having a right to your feelings, but also having compassion for other people? Especially (here's the hard part) other people who may not be behaving well themselves. It's challenging for all of us. (#lifegoals!) The easy thing to do in the face of conflict is to lash out in anger, push people away,  or freeze people out. It's much harder to stay in the ring and find a path of mutual understanding and repair. On the latest episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, I had the great pleasure of speaking with NYC-based psychoanalyst Dr. Mark Borg about this subject, and his insights into how to lead a more compassionate life. Dr. Borg is the author of the book, "Don't Be a Dick: Change Yourself, Change Your World" and he shared thoughtful strategies for how to: Gain the authentic self-awareness necessary to catch yourself when you're slipping into unnecessary "dickishness" How to handle challenging interpersonal situations with grace and tact The mindset that will help you stay compassionate with people who are not behaving well Strategies to handle extremely triggering situations with your family around the holidays (without getting sucked into conflict) How to use the power of empathy for yourself, and others, in order to make the world a better place I hope this perspective and advice helps you and the people you love. Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com

16 Joulu 20191h 3min

Do you have relationship questions, dating questions, breakup questions, communication questions, therapy questions, or need to know how to handle a totally awkward family situation?  Today on the podcast we're talking about all of it: The entire show is devoted to you. Your life, your relationships, and your questions.  Specifically, we discussed: What if you're having an argument with your partner and need to take a break to calm down, but they keep pursuing you? How to handle it when you're married and have a crush on someone else? What if you have a crush on an EMPLOYEE? Are you dating and hearing, "I like you but just as friends" a lot? We're talking about what that might mean! What are some tips to handle a hard breakup or divorce when you coparent with your Ex and have to see your Ex? What should you do if your family members are fighting with each other and you keep getting dragged into it? Can you do couples therapy by video if you're in a long-distance relationship? Why might that be a good idea? How should you approach your partner if you think they would really benefit from individual therapy or couples counseling, but they won't go? And so. Much. More. Tune in! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

9 Joulu 201957min

Holidays: NOT The Happiest Time Of Year For Heartbreak Divorces and breakups are difficult any time of year, but most people find that the period between Thanksgiving and Valentine's day adds an extra layer of angst and anxiety to the recovery process. On this edition of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm going to be giving you actionable advice to cope with a breakup or divorce during the holiday season. You'll learn how to take care of yourself, ways to manage your feelings, and most importantly -- how to use this time to heal, grow, and move on to a brighter future. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Ps. Don't forget to download your free "action plan" for how to stop obsessing about your Ex: www.growingself.com/holiday-breakups

2 Joulu 201949min

Feeling judged is difficult at any time, but as we lead up to the holidays, I begin to hear from many therapy and life coaching clients that feeling judged or criticized during family gatherings creates a ton of anxiety. On today's episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm diving deeply into this topic, in order to help you find strategies to stop feeling judged (while you're staying true to yourself and your values).  We'll discuss: Why it's so important to get clear about your values before heading into emotionally fraught situations with family and in-laws How to decide where to be flexible and where to hold firm in your interactions with others How to let go of your need for approval from others What to prioritize in order to help yourself make decisions and be less reactive The secret strategy to help yourself be okay… even when others are not How to practice compassion for self and others All this, and more, on this episode of the podcast. All the best,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

18 Marras 201949min

I often share relationship advice geared towards helping you proactively solve problems, practice good communication, and tackle tough issues before they become explosive... but that doesn't always happen. Sometimes, couples just have a terrible fight where they both say mean things to each other and feel like they damaged their relationship in the process. Has this just happened in your relationship? Have you just had a nasty fight, and now you're looking for help to get your relationship back on track? You're in the right place: Today I'm sharing my top tips for how to calm down, get back on track, and not just repair your relationship after a fight — but USE this experience to help your relationship grow and improve. PLUS, your questions about what to do when they're frequent fighting. All for you! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com

11 Marras 201945min

Do you have a running commentary in your head about all your mistakes, faults and shortcomings?   It's so painful. It's so exhausting. It's also so common — especially in high-achieving, successful types. (Ironically). Yes, the people who seem pretty darn close to perfect in the eyes of others are often the ones struggling the most to feel peaceful and self-accepting. Can you relate? Do you feel like you're never doing enough? Or like you have to be perfect (but even when you are, it could still be better? If so, the latest episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast is for you. We're going to be talking about how to stop beating yourself up, even if (and especially if) you're going through life circumstances that make you more vulnerable to beating yourself up. How to Stop Beating Yourself Up Specifically, we're discussing: Why You Beat Yourself Up How to stop beating yourself up for mistakes How to stop beating yourself up for past mistakes (that feel big) How to stop beating yourself up over mistakes at work How to stop beating yourself up after a breakup How to stop beating yourself up for not being perfect Listen to this episode to learn how to start pushing back against this "inner bully"  so that you can cultivate self-compassion, feel less insecure, feel good about yourself, and take pride in your many accomplishments so that you can own your awesome. You are worth it!  All the best, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.GrowingSelf.com PS: What's on YOUR mind these days? Have a question or a suggestion for an upcoming blog or podcast? I'm listening! Feel free to drop anything in the comments of this episode (here) or via this secure form.

4 Marras 201945min