011 Living an Unreal Life Part 5: UNWOUND

Well there was me thinking there might even be time to play the piano for 5/6 minutes in the middle of this one – ha ha ha!!! This week we are talking about managing meltdowns, dealing with stress and coping with the anxiety life often brings – what on earth made me think it was going to be a short one? I must be off my head! It's the longest yet at 1hr 17mins and no, there's not 45 minutes of plinky plonk in the middle!

Living an unwound life - so this week I attempt to talk about where stress comes from and how we can manage it. Stress as a term is used to describe feelings we experience when we are feeling under pressure, when emotions are heightened, where things externally such as a negative work environment, family issues, financial difficulty, abuse, trauma, exams, daily hassles or change are in the air – there's an endless list of what comes at us externally to cause stress but how much of it is avoidable?

Government survey this time last year, 4619 adults found that

· 74% of UK adults have felt so stressed at some point over the last year they felt overwhelmed or unable to cope.

· 32% of adults said they had experienced suicidal feelings as a result of stress

· 16% of adults said they had self-harmed as a result of stress.

My tips for managing short term stress - WATER:

· Walk away - Immediate distraction – stop, step back, play piano, go for a walk, this is why retail therapy is so helpful – back office, let cortisol and adrenalin levels drop. Take time out.

· Attention – where am I putting my attention, focus on the positive, be thankful, prioritise in the moment – not easy to think much further than that.

· Time – is my best friend, let the dust settle and the cortisol and adrenalin levels drop

· Emotion check – stress heightens our emotions – am I tired, hungry, hormonal, already stressed about something else that is colouring this situation

· Remind myself of who I am, don't let previous labels and scripts define this moment and your reaction

Managing long term stress

· Organise and plan long and short term, holidays etc – stress thickens the mind – lists, diary, tidy house/desk/car - a tidy environment helps to keep the mind calm

· Fear check – Tim Ferriss talks about Fear Setting – take control of what you can control and don't walk into the fire

· Fun – get some fun in your life – adventure, games, laughter

Seneca quotes: "We suffer more in imagination than in reality" and "In the end, it's not what happens to us but our reactions to it that matter"

Links for what's mentioned in the show ….

https://www.ted.com/talks/tim_ferriss_why_you_should_define_your_fears_instead_of_your_goals/reading-list?referrer=playlist-most_popular_ted_talks_of_2017

https://paindoctor.com/top-10-stressful-life-events-holmes-rahe-stress-scale/

https://www.anxietyuk.org.uk/anxiety-type/stress/

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/feb/03/ultimate-guide-stress-at-every-age

https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/a-to-z/s/stress

https://chimpmanagement.com/books-by-professor-steve-peters/the-chimp-paradox/

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