S11 Ep. 5: Arranged Marriages, Girlfriends Who Rush Sex, and a Husband Who Won't DIY

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) My girlfriend’s idea of perfect sex is both of us having orgasms as quickly as possible. Skip the foreplay, get naked, apply the lube, and get straight into intercourse. My idea of perfect sex is a bit of flirting, undressing each other, making her climax a few times during foreplay, then penetration in as many different positions as we can manage until we’re both fully satisfied. Any suggestions for some sort of compromise?

2) My friend is Indian and had an arranged marriage. She was a virgin at 34 when she got married, even though she’s sexually educated and masturbates. I was dreading the worst, but her marriage is happier—sexually and relationship-wise—than any other marriage in our friend group. Is there any evidence that having lots of casual sex doesn’t necessarily make you happier long-term?

3) My husband and I are in our 40s and have been married 20 years. We’re madly in love and still have sex at least three times a week. My husband has a VERY high sex drive and this is the compromise we have settled on because more than three times is too much for me and less for him is unthinkable. We have three kids, I work a high-pressure job, and I do the kids' and home responsibilities. I think he should look after himself by masturbating, but he can't masturbate to completion. He says it's a psychological thing: it makes him feel unloved, unwanted, and unattractive. I'm so tired of this being a strain on our marriage. I’ve suggested therapy, but he says he can't talk about such sensitive stuff with a stranger.

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

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