333: Great marriage but romance FADING? How do our traits OVERLAP? Are PSYCH meds EVER worth it?

333: Great marriage but romance FADING? How do our traits OVERLAP? Are PSYCH meds EVER worth it?

Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with host, Nathan Gershfeld. In Today's show, Dr. Lisle discusses the overlap of Big Five traits in normal human behavior and how to understand the conceptual framework rather than getting bogged down in formulaic thinking. Our next question has to do with anti-anxiety medications and whether they are ever worth taking. Then we wrap things with a question about being in a great marriage to a best friend but whose romance is fading.

1. The big five traits overlap way too much! for ex is someone nice because they are agreeable or because they are extremely conscientious and believe it is the right way to behave or are they just intelligent enough to understand that being nice is an advantageous strategy to get people to cooperate with them? any new developments in the field of personality?

2. Are there any situations or personality types where you believe taking anti-anxiety medications would be a good choice? Versus just seeing a good anxiety therapist like Dr. Laura Bruce who most likely isn't covered by their insurance anyway? For example, I am high in neuroticism, also high in conscientiousness.. but also impulsive.. and I'm currently working a high pressure job to pay off a low interest loan. But the job is stressful (I came into it and discovered they were operating at a -160k deficit, I'm being transparent with the board but we are still operating at a big deficit and might need to close within a year or two).. and my friend keeps telling me to get some anti-anxiety meds. In this case, if I *need* to do something like work a stressful job for a year, should anti-anxiety meds still be off the table? Why or why not?

3. What does a position of power with respect to marriage look like. For me the biggest threat to leaving a marriage is loneliness. I'm not a super out going guy and I fear that growing old without her companionship will be very depressing. My wife is my best friend and the few friends I do have are couple friends we both share. My issue is that the sexual romance side of it is fading. We both have decent paying jobs so financially we could comfortably figure it out if we did decide on splitting. I'm also not worried about the one child we have together we are both on the same page that our job is just to give him a good life experience. The main issue is we are best friends and I understand that is partly because our lives are literally interdependent. Separating may server that bond.

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Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones • Ferenc Hegedus Licensed for use

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362: Esteem, Friendship, and Finding Your People

362: Esteem, Friendship, and Finding Your People

Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. 0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 02:48 Q1: Regarding Episode 27 "How to make great friends", Could ...

11 Heinä 202548min

361: Lingering Loyalties, Distant Intimacies

361: Lingering Loyalties, Distant Intimacies

Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. 0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 04:25. Q1: Divorced dad entangled with ex 12:28 Genetic commitme...

25 Kesä 202544min

360: Affairs, Flares, and Fantasy Matches

360: Affairs, Flares, and Fantasy Matches

Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. 0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 02:41 Q1: How common are affairs? Is this typical human behavior? ...

12 Kesä 20251h 16min

359: When They Stop Caring: Hygiene, Hope & His Libido

359: When They Stop Caring: Hygiene, Hope & His Libido

Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. 0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 04:31 Q1: My daughter doesn't care about her appearance – could it...

29 Touko 202554min

358:  Pretty Girls, Cold Feet, and Estrogen Dreams

358: Pretty Girls, Cold Feet, and Estrogen Dreams

Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. 0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 01:35 Q1: I'm pretty but my ugly competitors are getting plastic s...

16 Touko 202545min

357: Loving the Irrational, Living with the Stuck, Losing the One

357: Loving the Irrational, Living with the Stuck, Losing the One

Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. 0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 01:39 Q1: I've alerted my wife that she has distortions, but she s...

1 Touko 202559min

356: You Want Them to Change—But Will They? Suicide, Marijuana, and Sobriety

356: You Want Them to Change—But Will They? Suicide, Marijuana, and Sobriety

Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. 0:00 Teaser Clips 0:32 Q1 Nephew is suicidal, but he called to tell me 09:19 The psychology o...

17 Huhti 20251h 14min

355: I Married Him to Have Kids... Now He Doesn't Want Them!

355: I Married Him to Have Kids... Now He Doesn't Want Them!

Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. 0:00 Teaser Clips 0:22 Q1 Husband just decided he no longer wants kids 18:08 What could have ...

3 Huhti 202544min

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