16: Doamurder, West Virginia (The Book of Genesis, Part 1)
Apocrypals19 Elo 2018

16: Doamurder, West Virginia (The Book of Genesis, Part 1)

Ever wonder why we have anxiety, Theophiloi? Perhaps it's because we're sitting down to examine and/or make goofs about the extremely well-known foundational text of at least three major world religions. That's right, y'all: it's our longest episode yet, featuring the genesis of the beginning of Genesis. This week: Chapters 1 through 11, covering Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel, Noah's Ark , and other stories that you probably know very well, assuming you remember the part where Noah passes out drunk with his junk out and invents slavery. Plus, join us in the Correctional Confessional as we address some mistakes and inaccuracies from last week's episode concerning the current status of St. Christopher and St. Wilgefortis, Skull Mountain Baptist Church, and the Arian Heresy. Ever wonder why we have anxiety, Theophiloi? Perhaps it's because we're sitting down to examine and/or make goofs about the extremely well-known foundational text of at least three major world religions. That's right, y'all: it's our longest episode yet, featuring the genesis of the beginning of Genesis. This week: Chapters 1 through 11, covering Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel, Noah's Ark, and other stories that you probably know very well, assuming you remember the part where Noah passes out drunk with his junk out and invents slavery. Plus, join us in the Correctional Confessional as we address some mistakes and inaccuracies from last week's episode concerning the current status of St. Christopher and St. Wilgefortis, Skull Mountain Baptist Church, and the Arian Heresy.

Topics of discussion: Our favorite Non-Genesis creation stories, the Documentary Hypothesis (J, E, P, and D), the Tetragrammaton, Monolatry vs. Monotheism redux, the proper instructions for building LEGO sets, a busy week for Big G, ancient cosmology (aether, firmament, and other Spelljammer stuff), the two best land animals, a brief discussion of God's wife Ashe ra, the rather problematic relationship between the Book of Genesis and the gender binary and women in in general, the naming of the animals, Lilith and a secret Lilith that we've already talked about, the inherent evil of nudity, Cain, Kane, Kaine, various origins for vampires, the Nephilim, a trip to the Creation Museum, the Flood Narrative as a genre, God's knack for archery.

Hymnal: "Genesis" by Justice

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Jaksot(126)

61: Countless Large Gregs (The Second Book of Enoch)

61: Countless Large Gregs (The Second Book of Enoch)

Happy Apocryphersary, Theophiloi! It's our show's second approximate birthday and it also just happens to be Big Boy Season. we're celebrating both with our annual tradition of checking in with Enoch,...

5 Huhti 20201h 45min

60: Joses Crust (The Acts of Andrew and Matthias)

60: Joses Crust (The Acts of Andrew and Matthias)

We're all having an extremely normal time right now, Theophiloi, but it always pays to remember that it could be worse. You could, for example, be Andrew, first called to be a disciple of the Lord Jes...

22 Maalis 20201h 16min

59: Source of the Flow (The Book of Leviticus)

59: Source of the Flow (The Book of Leviticus)

Time to eat the vegetables, Theophiloi. After nearly two years of putting it off, we finally lay down the law with Leviticus, and scramble desperately to make a few jokes before we wind up thoroughly ...

8 Maalis 20201h 32min

58: Blaise, Your Dead Homie (The Lives of St. Sebastian, St. Blaise, and St. Agatha)

58: Blaise, Your Dead Homie (The Lives of St. Sebastian, St. Blaise, and St. Agatha)

Cough up that fishbone and tighten up your bowstrings, Theophiloi, because it's time to dive into a trio of hagiographies from our boy JDV and the Golden Legend. Join us as we commemorate February wit...

23 Helmi 20201h 49min

57: We Holy Ghost, Bro? (The Life of Xanthippe, Polyxena, and Rebecca)

57: We Holy Ghost, Bro? (The Life of Xanthippe, Polyxena, and Rebecca)

Wizards! Talking lions! Armies of demons! Dudes just straight getting wrecked in the face! Truly it can be said, Theophiloi: this one has it all. Join us as we recount the lives and conduct of the hol...

8 Helmi 20201h 37min

56: Welcome to the Bone Zone (The Book of Ezekiel, Part Two)

56: Welcome to the Bone Zone (The Book of Ezekiel, Part Two)

Welcome back, Theophiloi, to the truly disconcerting rantings of the hair-throwing, scroll-eating mad lad himself, Ezekiel! In this episode, we go to extremes, as Ezekiel offers up the most brütal hor...

26 Tammi 20201h 8min

55: The Parable of the Sexy Blood Baby (The Book of Ezekiel, Part One)

55: The Parable of the Sexy Blood Baby (The Book of Ezekiel, Part One)

Let me ask you a question, Theophiloi: why prophets so nasty? In this episode, we put our treasured No Cusses rule in the greatest danger as we dive into the violent and upsettingly horny visions of E...

12 Tammi 20201h 34min

54: Our Favorite Murders (The Infancy Gospel of Thomas)

54: Our Favorite Murders (The Infancy Gospel of Thomas)

Merry Christmas, Theophiloi! It's the most wonderful time of the year, where we gather to celebrate the birth of Jesus, which subsequently led to several horrible crimes that terrorized his hometown f...

22 Joulu 20191h 30min

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