18: Literally and Figuratively Wrestling With God (The Book of Genesis, Part Three)
Apocrypals9 Syys 2018

18: Literally and Figuratively Wrestling With God (The Book of Genesis, Part Three)

Content Warning: We cover the story of Dinah in this episode, which involves a sexual assault.

Shanah Tovah, Theophiloi, and welcome back to what we're pretty sure is the world's only Bible podcast! We're kicking off 5779 with the third part of our increasingly unwieldy discussion of Genesis. This week, the Lentil Stew Boys are back for hijinx as we cover the lives of Jacob and Esau, and give you a shofar performance that critics are already hailing as "well-intentioned." It is both our sexiest and most pro wrestling heavy episode yet, and we're as surprised by that as you are.

Topics of discussion: Our wishes for a sweet Rosh Hashanah, Jacob's invention of cosplay, situations in which literally lying to your blind father about God is totally fine, conservation of blessings, a Jacobian installment of Benito's Anthroponomastics Corner, ordinary eyes, quite a few trips to the bone zone, animal husbandry and sympathetic magic, sympathetic sheep magic, Rachel's 11, whether or not the Holy Trinity tapped, the Biblical version of Death Wish meets Death Wish III.

Hymnal: "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin

Offertory: If you enjoy the show, head to ko-fi.com/apocrypals and send us a love offering! We absolutely appreciate it!

Jaksot(126)

100: Escape From Flesh Island (The Gospel of Judas)

100: Escape From Flesh Island (The Gospel of Judas)

No man knoweth the hour or the day, Theophiloi, but our 100th episode is at hand! In celebration of our centennial, we take on one of our most requested texts: the recently discovered Gospel of Judas...

5 Maalis 20221h 43min

99: For Sale, Baby Legs, Not Attached (The First Book of Kings)

99: For Sale, Baby Legs, Not Attached (The First Book of Kings)

You've heard of Solomon, right, Theophiloi? The king so wise that he once threatened to cut a baby in half? Well, if you were looking for more examples of this famous wisdom, we have some bad news for...

30 Tammi 20221h 46min

98: You Know, the Manger? (Christmas Chick Tracts)

98: You Know, the Manger? (Christmas Chick Tracts)

We suspect, Theophiloi, that it has been as much of A Year for you as it has been for your humble Sons of Thunder, so please forgive us for skipping the lengthy and intense reading we would've done fo...

23 Joulu 20211h 27min

97: Pretty Sus, Lesbius (The Acts of Andrew)

97: Pretty Sus, Lesbius (The Acts of Andrew)

Quick, Theophiloi! Name your favorite Apostle! Okay, good, now we know who among you cannot be trusted, because anyone who said Andrew is a liar. My dude is boring as all h*ck except for the part wher...

2 Joulu 20211h 12min

96: The Goku of Judaism (Stories of the Baal Shem Tov)

96: The Goku of Judaism (Stories of the Baal Shem Tov)

Happy Halloween, FIENDS and NeighBOOs! It's the spookiest time of year, and to get in the SPIRIT, we're reading about how the Master of The Good Name and founder of Hassidic Judaism fought a werewolf ...

24 Loka 20211h 16min

95: An Abyss of Significant Depth (The Apocalypse of Paul)

95: An Abyss of Significant Depth (The Apocalypse of Paul)

I don't want to brag, Theophiloi, but I think if I was going to write a text in the style of Mr. Paul (a servant of Jesus Christ, called to be an Apostle, separated unto the Gospel of God which He had...

10 Loka 20211h 40min

94: Little Martha and the Small Vandellas  (The Lives of St. Mary Magdalene and St. Wilgefortis)

94: Little Martha and the Small Vandellas (The Lives of St. Mary Magdalene and St. Wilgefortis)

Work with me here, Theophiloi: It sure is late July 2021, and that means it's time for us to celebrate the feast day of Jesus's Second-Favorite Mary, depending on who you ask! We're rolling through a ...

26 Syys 20211h 13min

93: Approximate Week IV: OblIVion (Joseph and Aseneth)

93: Approximate Week IV: OblIVion (Joseph and Aseneth)

Blessed are your hosts, Theophiloi! It's been a while, yes, but we're back just in time for our mutual birthday, with a look at an apocryphal text that goes from zero to complete buck wild in the span...

15 Elo 20211h 22min

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