28: Second Maccabees Second Furious (The Second Book of Maccabees)
Apocrypals10 Joulu 2018

28: Second Maccabees Second Furious (The Second Book of Maccabees)

So long Hanukkah and Hello Advent, Theophiloi! It's your humble Sons of Thunder on 2018's best podcast for news about Ahikar and St. Thecla's conflict with man-eating seals, and before we close out the Festival of Lights, we're going all in with 2 Maccabees. Things get buck wild as we hear about Judah Maccabee's exploits once again, now with roughly 1,000% more ghost warriors and magic swords. Seriously, this is the most action-packed part of Bible we have ever experienced, and you'll recall that we saw Judas exploding back in episode 1, so the bar has been set pretty high. We do, however, need to put a strong Content Warning on this one for some graphic descriptions of torture and martyrdom.

Topics of discussion: The Murder That I Like The Most vs. The Apocryphamici, the Catalonian Poop Log, our local Holiday Parades, the Bangles, Jason of Cyrene, the Drizzt Do'Urden of Jewish history, "The Greek Hat," illegal tactics in the wrestling arena, dubious omens, wishing a happy monthday to Antiochus III, Ex Nihilo creation, our complicated relationship with military heroes, BFFLW, the wildest death scene in the entire Bible.

Hymnal: "Not By Might, Not By Power" by Debbie Friedman

Offertory: If you enjoy the show, head to ko-fi.com/apocrypals and send us a love offering! We absolutely appreciate it!

Jaksot(126)

61: Countless Large Gregs (The Second Book of Enoch)

61: Countless Large Gregs (The Second Book of Enoch)

Happy Apocryphersary, Theophiloi! It's our show's second approximate birthday and it also just happens to be Big Boy Season. we're celebrating both with our annual tradition of checking in with Enoch,...

5 Huhti 20201h 45min

60: Joses Crust (The Acts of Andrew and Matthias)

60: Joses Crust (The Acts of Andrew and Matthias)

We're all having an extremely normal time right now, Theophiloi, but it always pays to remember that it could be worse. You could, for example, be Andrew, first called to be a disciple of the Lord Jes...

22 Maalis 20201h 16min

59: Source of the Flow (The Book of Leviticus)

59: Source of the Flow (The Book of Leviticus)

Time to eat the vegetables, Theophiloi. After nearly two years of putting it off, we finally lay down the law with Leviticus, and scramble desperately to make a few jokes before we wind up thoroughly ...

8 Maalis 20201h 32min

58: Blaise, Your Dead Homie (The Lives of St. Sebastian, St. Blaise, and St. Agatha)

58: Blaise, Your Dead Homie (The Lives of St. Sebastian, St. Blaise, and St. Agatha)

Cough up that fishbone and tighten up your bowstrings, Theophiloi, because it's time to dive into a trio of hagiographies from our boy JDV and the Golden Legend. Join us as we commemorate February wit...

23 Helmi 20201h 49min

57: We Holy Ghost, Bro? (The Life of Xanthippe, Polyxena, and Rebecca)

57: We Holy Ghost, Bro? (The Life of Xanthippe, Polyxena, and Rebecca)

Wizards! Talking lions! Armies of demons! Dudes just straight getting wrecked in the face! Truly it can be said, Theophiloi: this one has it all. Join us as we recount the lives and conduct of the hol...

8 Helmi 20201h 37min

56: Welcome to the Bone Zone (The Book of Ezekiel, Part Two)

56: Welcome to the Bone Zone (The Book of Ezekiel, Part Two)

Welcome back, Theophiloi, to the truly disconcerting rantings of the hair-throwing, scroll-eating mad lad himself, Ezekiel! In this episode, we go to extremes, as Ezekiel offers up the most brütal hor...

26 Tammi 20201h 8min

55: The Parable of the Sexy Blood Baby (The Book of Ezekiel, Part One)

55: The Parable of the Sexy Blood Baby (The Book of Ezekiel, Part One)

Let me ask you a question, Theophiloi: why prophets so nasty? In this episode, we put our treasured No Cusses rule in the greatest danger as we dive into the violent and upsettingly horny visions of E...

12 Tammi 20201h 34min

54: Our Favorite Murders (The Infancy Gospel of Thomas)

54: Our Favorite Murders (The Infancy Gospel of Thomas)

Merry Christmas, Theophiloi! It's the most wonderful time of the year, where we gather to celebrate the birth of Jesus, which subsequently led to several horrible crimes that terrorized his hometown f...

22 Joulu 20191h 30min

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