34: Thorn Bushes and Pushups (The Song of Songs)
Apocrypals24 Helmi 2019

34: Thorn Bushes and Pushups (The Song of Songs)

Happy Valentine's Day, Theophiloi, and might I just say, you're looking good today. Hair like goats, teeth like sheep, just dripping with myrrh... yes, all your parts are in very sexy condition. What's that? Why yes, we have been taking a few tips from Bible's greatest romantic, King Solomon the Demon-Queller! He's here with his sensual mixtape and we're going through it track by track as we take on the Song of Songs! Plus: a brief non-history of St. Valentine! Hey, don't... uh, don't listen to this one with your mom, okay?

Topics of discussion: A soupçon of Magic: The Gathering, the Sanctum Sanctorum, "Rich Girl," tbe mechanics of Bumble vis-a-vis gazelle fawns and grapes, chiastic structure, metaphors and abbreviations in order to keep our "Clean" tag, sheep content, lots of stuff we can't really put in the description, and only two jokes we had to cut out.

Hymnal: "Portions for Foxes" by Rilo Kiley

Offertory: If you enjoy the show, head to ko-fi.com/apocrypals and send us a love offering! We absolutely appreciate it!

Jaksot(126)

5: On the Road to Rome (Paul's Letter to the Romans)

5: On the Road to Rome (Paul's Letter to the Romans)

"Therefore, any one of you who judges is without excuse, for when you judge another, you condemn yourself, since you, the judge, do the same things. We know that God's judgment on those who do such th...

20 Touko 20181h 14min

4: Wittgenstein's Monster (The Book of Isaiah)

4: Wittgenstein's Monster (The Book of Isaiah)

"Woe to those that are wise in their own opinion and clever in their own sight." -- Isaiah 5:21 Isaiah, the biggest beefiest boy of all the prophets, steps into the spotlight to put our very premise t...

6 Touko 20181h 23min

3: Various Heresies (The Acts of Peter and Paul)

3: Various Heresies (The Acts of Peter and Paul)

"Go, say unto Simon: Peter, because of whom thou fleddest out of Judaea, waiteth for thee at the door." -- The Acts of Peter, Chapter IV Join us this week as we dive into the apocryphal Acts of Peter ...

22 Huhti 20181h 29min

2: One Weird Trick (The Book of Daniel with Apocrypha)

2: One Weird Trick (The Book of Daniel with Apocrypha)

"Therefore I issue a decree that anyone of any people, nation, or language who says anything offensive against the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego will be torn limb from limb and his house made...

14 Huhti 20181h 15min

1: Porky Party (The Book of Acts)

1: Porky Party (The Book of Acts)

"Look, you scoffers, marvel and vanish away, because I am doing a work in your days, a work that you will never believe, even if someone were to explain it to you." — Acts 13:41 Chris and Benito begin...

8 Huhti 20181h 18min

Episode 0: I've Been To My Share of Pizza Parties

Episode 0: I've Been To My Share of Pizza Parties

"Then, even if your beginnings were modest, your final days will be full of prosperity." -- Job 8:7 Welcome to Apocrypals, the podcast where two non-believers read through the Bible, but aren't, you k...

29 Maalis 201842min

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