55: The Parable of the Sexy Blood Baby (The Book of Ezekiel, Part One)
Apocrypals12 Tammi 2020

55: The Parable of the Sexy Blood Baby (The Book of Ezekiel, Part One)

Let me ask you a question, Theophiloi: why prophets so nasty? In this episode, we put our treasured No Cusses rule in the greatest danger as we dive into the violent and upsettingly horny visions of Ezekiel, last of the major prophets. This absolute scroll-eating mad lad has a whole list of unsavory activities and breads that he wants to tell you about in detail. Don't listen to this one with your mom.

Topics of discussion: The Greenlit Podcast Network, Aquaman: King of the Party Animals, physical descriptions of the Lord, Bible Arepas, the secret ingredient of Ezekiel Bread, Jaazaniah, Son of Shaphan, magic bands, beebos.

Hymnal: "Miserlou" by Dick Dale

Offertory: If you have been given riches, wealth, and honor so that you lack nothing of all you desire for yourself, let a stranger enjoy them via ko-fi.com/apocrypals.

Jaksot(126)

77: The Blessed Voltrons (The Lives of St. Catherine and St. Barbara)

77: The Blessed Voltrons (The Lives of St. Catherine and St. Barbara)

Advent continues apace, Theophiloi, and we're celebrating with two of the most famous and popular lady saints, St. Barbara and St. Catherine! Babs and Cathy are here to visit total ruination upon the ...

15 Marras 20201h 40min

76: Filling the Room (The Life of St. Martin)

76: Filling the Room (The Life of St. Martin)

If you thought the Song of Solomon was going to be a tough one for us to get through with our "Clean" tag intact, Theophiloi, brace yourselves for the Life of St. Martin. With a translation that almos...

1 Marras 20201h 47min

75: Lazer Babies (The Apocalypse of Peter)

75: Lazer Babies (The Apocalypse of Peter)

Happy Halloween, DRACULA-philoi, and pre-SCARE to have your sins counted as we descend once more into HELL! Specifically the Hell described in the Apocalypse of Simon "The Rock" Peter, in which everyo...

18 Loka 20201h 27min

74: Howl of the Ostrich (The Books of Micah and Nahum)

74: Howl of the Ostrich (The Books of Micah and Nahum)

If you've ever read Bible and thought "hey, this is great but I wish it had dudes just unleashing straight metaphorical fire on workers of iniquity," then allow your humble Sons of Thunder to introduc...

4 Loka 20201h 4min

73: Be Courageous! (The Book of Joshua)

73: Be Courageous! (The Book of Joshua)

Happy New Year, Theophiloi! That's right, it's Rosh Hashanah time, and we are 100% Done In 5781™. Also done? Joshua, whose journey to become the second Moses is going to take him down the path of mass...

20 Syys 20201h 39min

72: Cold Brew Paul (Paul's Letter to the Galatians)

72: Cold Brew Paul (Paul's Letter to the Galatians)

One half of your humble Sons of Thunder is joining you from real-for-real quarantine, dear Theophiloi, but that won't stop us from griping our way through our first canonical New Testament book of thi...

6 Syys 20201h 25min

71: Approximate Week Chapter 3: Parabellum (The War Scroll)

71: Approximate Week Chapter 3: Parabellum (The War Scroll)

If you seek birthdays, Theophiloi, prepare for war — the War Scroll, that is! As we celebrate the Approximate Week between our two personal nativities, we dive into the Dead Sea Scrolls for the first ...

23 Elo 20201h 29min

70: Two Firkin Bored (The Letter of Aristeas)

70: Two Firkin Bored (The Letter of Aristeas)

Having trouble sleeping, Theophiloi? Well here's an evangelion for you: this episode covers a letter written by the most boring person to ever cover a miracle. Get ready for intense table measurements...

9 Elo 20201h 34min

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