56: Welcome to the Bone Zone (The Book of Ezekiel, Part Two)
Apocrypals26 Tammi 2020

56: Welcome to the Bone Zone (The Book of Ezekiel, Part Two)

Welcome back, Theophiloi, to the truly disconcerting rantings of the hair-throwing, scroll-eating mad lad himself, Ezekiel! In this episode, we go to extremes, as Ezekiel offers up the most brütal horror movie prophecies for the iniquitous nations, and then takes a hard right turn into intensely specific blueprints for his visionary construction project. If you've ever wanted to know how prophets make their money, this is the episode that reveals all.

Topics of discussion: Lent Creep, the Florence Y'alls, God's vengeance on Jerry "The King" Lawler, that one Bass Pro Shop, Maximum Carnage, Chambers (the second Negan), the Biblical prophecies of Super Mario Bros. 3, this extremely dope Spider-Man page, Ezekiel's #sponsored #content.


Hymnal: "Spooky Scary Skeletons Remix" by The Living Tombstone; "Lay All Your Love On Me" by Stephen Mann of English Martyrs Church (https://www.youtube.com/user/Principal45).

Offertory: If you have been given riches, wealth, and honor so that you lack nothing of all you desire for yourself, let a stranger enjoy them via ko-fi.com/apocrypals.

Jaksot(126)

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61: Countless Large Gregs (The Second Book of Enoch)

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60: Joses Crust (The Acts of Andrew and Matthias)

60: Joses Crust (The Acts of Andrew and Matthias)

We're all having an extremely normal time right now, Theophiloi, but it always pays to remember that it could be worse. You could, for example, be Andrew, first called to be a disciple of the Lord Jes...

22 Maalis 20201h 16min

59: Source of the Flow (The Book of Leviticus)

59: Source of the Flow (The Book of Leviticus)

Time to eat the vegetables, Theophiloi. After nearly two years of putting it off, we finally lay down the law with Leviticus, and scramble desperately to make a few jokes before we wind up thoroughly ...

8 Maalis 20201h 32min

58: Blaise, Your Dead Homie (The Lives of St. Sebastian, St. Blaise, and St. Agatha)

58: Blaise, Your Dead Homie (The Lives of St. Sebastian, St. Blaise, and St. Agatha)

Cough up that fishbone and tighten up your bowstrings, Theophiloi, because it's time to dive into a trio of hagiographies from our boy JDV and the Golden Legend. Join us as we commemorate February wit...

23 Helmi 20201h 49min

57: We Holy Ghost, Bro? (The Life of Xanthippe, Polyxena, and Rebecca)

57: We Holy Ghost, Bro? (The Life of Xanthippe, Polyxena, and Rebecca)

Wizards! Talking lions! Armies of demons! Dudes just straight getting wrecked in the face! Truly it can be said, Theophiloi: this one has it all. Join us as we recount the lives and conduct of the hol...

8 Helmi 20201h 37min

55: The Parable of the Sexy Blood Baby (The Book of Ezekiel, Part One)

55: The Parable of the Sexy Blood Baby (The Book of Ezekiel, Part One)

Let me ask you a question, Theophiloi: why prophets so nasty? In this episode, we put our treasured No Cusses rule in the greatest danger as we dive into the violent and upsettingly horny visions of E...

12 Tammi 20201h 34min

54: Our Favorite Murders (The Infancy Gospel of Thomas)

54: Our Favorite Murders (The Infancy Gospel of Thomas)

Merry Christmas, Theophiloi! It's the most wonderful time of the year, where we gather to celebrate the birth of Jesus, which subsequently led to several horrible crimes that terrorized his hometown f...

22 Joulu 20191h 30min

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