89: 2000 B.C. (The First Book of Samuel)
Apocrypals23 Touko 2021

89: 2000 B.C. (The First Book of Samuel)

You may be wondering, Theophiloi, how we could possibly talk for over 90 minutes about 1 Samuel, which contains one of the Bible stories that literally everyone knows. And yes, you almost certainly know about David and Goliath, but do you know about David's vast collection of foreskins? Or the part where the King of Israel does necromancy with the mom from Bewitched? Or that sweet sweet groundhoney? If you do, well, listen anyway, there's good jokes in this one and we're going back to our favorite metaphorical bar.

Topics of Discussion: The New Neo-Normal, "The Great Atomic Power" by the Louvin Brothers, BrotherMania, Benito's shocking and world-shattering opinion of "Unchained Melody," an innocuous phrase that I do not enjoy saying, Nazarites, a truly sick burn on ol' Howie Lovecraft, Dagon's door rules, the secret 11th Plague, sub-par goldsmithing, an indeterminate number of melted faces, Castlevania II, Doeg the Edomite, a technique for identifying men that shows that quite frankly they have always been terrible, Carl Dean, To Da Dome, Goliath Facts, the Secret Chord Moratorium.

Hymnal: "Holding Out For a Hero" by Bonnie Tyler, "The Great Atomic Power" by the Louvin Brothers

Offertory: As Enoch writes, "Whoever of you spends gold or silver for his brother's sake, he will receive ample treasure in the world to come." Support the show via http://ko-fi.com/apocrypals, or check out Official Apocrypals merchandise designed by Erica Henderson! https://www.teepublic.com/stores/apocrypals?ref_id=18246

Black Lives Matter. Trans Lives Matter. Heck 12. Isaiah 54:17.

Jaksot(126)

108: Skip This One (The Book of Hosea)

108: Skip This One (The Book of Hosea)

Look, Thephiloi, you don't actually have to skip this one (it's actually one of my personal favorites, tbqh) but I'm gonna warn you up front: we were in a PRETTY SILLY MOOD when we were recording this...

27 Marras 20221h 1min

107: Hellmensch (Stories of the Baal Shem Tov, vol. 2)

107: Hellmensch (Stories of the Baal Shem Tov, vol. 2)

You there, Theophiloi, what day is to-day? What? It's mid-November? Well, we keep the spirit of Halloween in our hearts year round on this podcast, so we're going ahead with our annual tradition of Ha...

13 Marras 20221h 12min

106: A Serious Goku Move (The Second Book of Kings)

106: A Serious Goku Move (The Second Book of Kings)

Welcome to Season 2 of Apocrypals, dear Theophiloi! You know, like how every podcast does 103 regular episodes and then takes an extremely planned break of several months before returning, refreshed a...

30 Loka 20221h 37min

105: Approximate Week V: RaVager

105: Approximate Week V: RaVager

No spoilers, Theophiloi. It's our birthday we're covering a text that listeners have been requesting for five years. Hymnal: "Teenage Dream" by Katy Perry, "The Winner Takes It All" by Stephen Mann o...

12 Elo 20221h 17min

104: Previously, On Bible (The Epistle to the Hebrews)

104: Previously, On Bible (The Epistle to the Hebrews)

And what more can I say, Theophiloi? By faith, we recorded a podcast about the Epistle to the Hebrews, which some dweeb thought was written by Mr. Paul even though it doesn't start with a lengthy intr...

1 Elo 20221h 4min

103: Sucky James (The History of Joseph the Carpenter)

103: Sucky James (The History of Joseph the Carpenter)

I suspect, dear Theophiloi, that there is no stepfather in all history more overshadowed than poor Joseph, the humble carpenter whose competition for his Son's affection was in fact the Almighty God. ...

3 Heinä 20221h 2min

102: Napalm Toots (The Lives of St. Martha of Bethany and St. Margaret of Antioch)

102: Napalm Toots (The Lives of St. Martha of Bethany and St. Margaret of Antioch)

The Book of Job is famously one of history's biggest bummers, Theophiloi, so in this episode, we're going with something that always brings us joy: women fighting dragons. It's Martha of Bethany and M...

13 Kesä 20221h 9min

101: The Apocrypals Solve Theodicy (The Book of Job)

101: The Apocrypals Solve Theodicy (The Book of Job)

Have you ever wondered why bad things happen to good people, Theophiloi? Well, we've found the answer in the Book of Job, a literary classic and/or utter failure, and it's pretty simple: God's indiffe...

21 Huhti 20221h 13min

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