Redeeming Shame through Community :: Dr. Curt Thompson [Ep 308]

Redeeming Shame through Community :: Dr. Curt Thompson [Ep 308]

Our kids begin to feel and respond to shame as early as 15 to 18 months of age. Those early moments can begin a lifelong struggle with feeling unworthy, inadequate and unlovable. Shame also disintegrates us (separating our thinking brain from our feeling brain) and isolates us from others.

My guest is Dr. Curt Thompson, a psychiatrist and expert on the effects of shame and how to find freedom from the lifelong negative messages that come after us and our family.

“One of the things that we notice about shame is that because we are immobilized and we are hiding, shame does not actually ever allow us to move toward God. This is why we have to have someone come and find us. This is why when our children are experiencing shame, we have to go and find them. This is why it's important for us as parents to have others who are coming to find us.”

YES! Moms don’t let moms sit in shame. We can choose to seek out others when they are stuck in the shame cycle. Who are your 2 or 3 moms that will help you tell your story more truly?

Dr. Thompson walks us through some practical ways to build in memories and physical reminders to work against shame in the future for both ourselves and others. And throughout our conversation he points back to how God doesn’t leave us to deal with shame alone.

“The beautiful thing is Jesus isn’t worried about our kids. He's not worried about your mothering. He's delighted. He knows how hard this work is and he knows that we will do it imperfectly. Even when we have our worst moments in which we foist to shame upon our kids or when our kids experience shame against everything that we're doing to try to combat it, God is saying: ‘I'm not worried. I never run out of options.’”

Connect with Dr. Thompson: Links Mentioned: Featured Sponsors:
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Healing Friendship Wounds Lisa-Jo Baker Ep 159

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Heather MacFadyen, mother of four boys, interviews guests discussing the topic of staying God-centered...both replacing "me" with "He" and remembering we are centered in Him.

2 Huhti 201745min

Grounded Joy Ellie Holcomb Ep 158

Grounded Joy Ellie Holcomb Ep 158

Heather MacFadyen, mother of four boys, interviews guests discussing the topic of staying God-centered...both replacing "me" with "He" and remembering we are centered in Him.

20 Maalis 201751min

Why Israel Matters to Moms Josh Ahrens Ep 157

Why Israel Matters to Moms Josh Ahrens Ep 157

Heather MacFadyen, mother of four boys, interviews guests discussing the topic of staying God-centered...both replacing "me" with "He" and remembering we are centered in Him.

17 Maalis 201740min

Building the Family You Never Had Mary DeMuth Ep 156

Building the Family You Never Had Mary DeMuth Ep 156

Heather MacFadyen, mother of four boys, interviews guests discussing the topic of staying God-centered...both replacing "me" with "He" and remembering we are centered in Him.

9 Maalis 201740min

What's Your Wifestyle :: Jen Weaver [Ep 155]

What's Your Wifestyle :: Jen Weaver [Ep 155]

Heather MacFadyen, mother of four boys, interviews guests discussing the topic of staying God-centered...both replacing "me" with "He" and remembering we are centered in Him.

6 Maalis 201744min

Shame, Perfectionism & Smiling Depression :: Misty and Stephanie [Ep 154]

Shame, Perfectionism & Smiling Depression :: Misty and Stephanie [Ep 154]

Today I’ve invited two gals to the kitchen table. We’re chatting about some good-hard topics. Like a good workout, this was a conversation we did and didn’t want to have. Praise the Lord, “shame” is no longer taboo. More and more people are willing to be vulnerable and share their struggles. And women are finding freedom from the thoughts of unworthiness replaying in their minds. Since I’m confident Brene Brown’s research and writings stimulated this movement. Here are her words on the topic: I define shame as the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging – something we’ve experienced, done, or failed to do makes us unworthy of connection. I don’t believe shame is helpful or productive. In this conversation, Misty, Stephanie & I talk about how often inward shame leads to outward perfectionism. And eventually that can lead to (a new-to-me term) smiling depression. As women of faith we can take our thoughts of unworthiness and exchange them for the Truth of what Christ has done for us. We can rest in His worthiness on our behalf. And rest in God’s pleasure over us. Believing He is for us and there is nothing we can do to earn or lose His love. Thank you Misty for being brave and sharing your story. Thank you Stephanie for sharing your own struggles and professional insight. May we show one another grace and freedom, so that no one suffers alone. May more women gather around tables and have similar conversations (sign up here to host a GCM podcast club). In this hour we chat about: Inner shame talk and the burden of unworthiness. Smiling depression Believing the lie of not good enough Becoming aware of our striving to gain worth. What steps to take in healing shame/perfectionism/depression. Finding safe community to be vulnerable. Allowing a counselor to help you find more freedom. What makes someone move through shame and why do others get stuck in it. How shame impacts 17-24 year olds. Two practical activities to increase awareness of other’s love and God’s love towards you.

27 Helmi 201759min

Birds and Bees (Continuing the Conversation) :: Mary Flo Ridley and Megan Michelson [Ep 153]

Birds and Bees (Continuing the Conversation) :: Mary Flo Ridley and Megan Michelson [Ep 153]

Heather MacFadyen, mother of four boys, interviews guests discussing the topic of staying God-centered...both replacing "me" with "He" and remembering we are centered in Him.

20 Helmi 201753min

Living with Every Heartbeat Surrendered :: Julie Manning [Ep 152]

Living with Every Heartbeat Surrendered :: Julie Manning [Ep 152]

Heather MacFadyen, mother of four boys, interviews guests discussing the topic of staying God-centered...both replacing "me" with "He" and remembering we are centered in Him.

13 Helmi 201745min

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