Don't Mom Alone Podcast4 Tammi 2021

Redeeming Shame through Community :: Dr. Curt Thompson [Ep 308]

Our kids begin to feel and respond to shame as early as 15 to 18 months of age. Those early moments can begin a lifelong struggle with feeling unworthy, inadequate and unlovable. Shame also disintegrates us (separating our thinking brain from our feeling brain) and isolates us from others.

My guest is Dr. Curt Thompson, a psychiatrist and expert on the effects of shame and how to find freedom from the lifelong negative messages that come after us and our family.

“One of the things that we notice about shame is that because we are immobilized and we are hiding, shame does not actually ever allow us to move toward God. This is why we have to have someone come and find us. This is why when our children are experiencing shame, we have to go and find them. This is why it's important for us as parents to have others who are coming to find us.”

YES! Moms don’t let moms sit in shame. We can choose to seek out others when they are stuck in the shame cycle. Who are your 2 or 3 moms that will help you tell your story more truly?

Dr. Thompson walks us through some practical ways to build in memories and physical reminders to work against shame in the future for both ourselves and others. And throughout our conversation he points back to how God doesn’t leave us to deal with shame alone.

“The beautiful thing is Jesus isn’t worried about our kids. He's not worried about your mothering. He's delighted. He knows how hard this work is and he knows that we will do it imperfectly. Even when we have our worst moments in which we foist to shame upon our kids or when our kids experience shame against everything that we're doing to try to combat it, God is saying: ‘I'm not worried. I never run out of options.’”

Connect with Dr. Thompson:

Links Mentioned:

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Overcoming Insecurities in Friendships :: Renee Swope [Ep 148]

Friendships can be tricky. Then throw in our own weaknesses and insecurities. . .oi vey! Today’s guest, Renee Swope, openly wrote about her self-doubt struggles in the book, “A Confident Heart”**. After 20 years serving with the Proverbs 31 ministry, Renee knows a thing or to about the joys and complexities of female relationships. In this episode she shares the value found in embracing her “lack” and inviting others into her life. Renee answers questions like, “How do you find ‘good’ friends willing to accept your mess?” And “Where are the older women offering help and wisdom?” And “In our modern era how does self-sufficiency hinder community?” If you are looking for more on community, Renee wrote about one of 30 friendship topics covered in the new book, “Craving Connection”**. So many of women I love are sharing their friendship stories, offering camaraderie and hope. Co-authors include: Lisa-Jo Baker (Ep 21), Crystal Stine (Ep 10), Stacey Thacker (Ep 76), Eryn Hall, Erin Mohring, Kristen Strong (Ep 97), Amanda White (Ep 3, 17, 27, 36, 79), and Jennifer Dukes Lee (Ep 18). What we chat about: How the international adoption of her daughter shaped her older sons. Renee’s journey into speaking/writing with Proverbs 31 ministry the past 21 years. How to know when to put something aside or move forward confidently. Renee’s internal battle of self-doubt and insecurity. The question we ask ourselves when someone asks, “How are you?”. Ways to get passed insecurity in our friendships. How processing feelings with others help hard situations lose their weight. Finding real good friends by being the friend they need. A challenge to older moms to make the invitation to younger moms. How self-sufficiency can hinder community. Links Mentioned: Proverbs 31 Ministry “A Confident Heart: How to Stop Doubting Yourself and Live in the Security of God’s Promises” ** Craving Connection : 30 Challenges for Real-Life Engagement** Sally Clarkson’s Momheart ministry and conference

17 Tammi 201753min