Why Do We Want What We Want?

Why Do We Want What We Want?

Why do we want the things we want? While we'll offer up plenty of reasons to explain our choices, my guest today says the real reason we want what we want is this: other people in our lives want those same things.

His name is Luke Burgis and he's studied philosophy, theology, and classical literature, works as a business entrepreneur, investor, and educator, and is the author of Wanting: The Power of Mimetic Desire in Everyday Life. Luke and I discuss how our desires are strongly mimetic, that is, imitative, and how there are two groups of people that act as models of desire for us: celebrities and public figures who are distant from us, and friends, family, and colleagues who are close to us. Luke explains why it's actually that latter group where we experience the most rivalry and conflict, because the more similar we are, the more we end up competing for the same things, the more envy we experience, and the more we want to differentiate ourselves from the crowd, even though the areas in which to do so can be increasingly small. In fact, someone can be a model of desire, not only in influencing us to imitate them, but in motivating us to act in the opposite way. Luke shares how mimetic desire can be both a negative and destructive or a positive and productive force, and offers advice on how to harness it for the latter purpose by humbly recognizing the way other people are influencing our wants, and using that knowledge to opt out of games we don't want to play, utilize the healthy aspects of competition without allowing it to get us off track, and intentionally choose worthy, even transcendent, models of desire to emulate.

Get the show notes at aom.is/wanting.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jaksot(1158)

No, There Isn’t a Loneliness Epidemic (And That May Be an Even Bigger Problem)

No, There Isn’t a Loneliness Epidemic (And That May Be an Even Bigger Problem)

Face-to-face socializing in America has declined by more than 20% nationwide. Among some groups, like young adults and unmarried men, the drop is closer to 40%.But strangely, this hasn’t led to the lo...

11 Maalis 202553min

Enter the Matrix — The Science of Slowing Down Time

Enter the Matrix — The Science of Slowing Down Time

People commonly think of time as a fixed, linear, objective structure. But our own experiences belie this belief. We’ve all been in situations where time has seemed to drag on or speed up, and there a...

4 Maalis 202539min

The Science of Porn: Myths, Facts, and Overlooked Issues

The Science of Porn: Myths, Facts, and Overlooked Issues

Pornography is more prevalent and accessible than ever before, yet its effects on relationships, mental health, and human development aren't popularly well understood. Discussions on the topic are oft...

25 Helmi 202554min

The Power of the Notebook — The History and Practice of Thinking on Paper

The Power of the Notebook — The History and Practice of Thinking on Paper

The idea for the Art of Manliness came to me 17 years ago as I was standing in the magazine section of a Borders bookstore. As inspiration struck, I took my Moleskine out of my pocket and jotted down ...

18 Helmi 202552min

The 80/80 Marriage — A New Model for a Happier, Stronger Relationship

The 80/80 Marriage — A New Model for a Happier, Stronger Relationship

A lot of people go into marriage with a 50/50 mindset. Everything in the relationship — from tangible things like childcare and chores to intangible things like the effort and energy needed to keep th...

11 Helmi 202554min

Sleep Like a Caveman

Sleep Like a Caveman

For several decades, people's reported sleep quality has declined. This, despite the fact that specially optimized sheets, mattresses, and sleep trackers have emerged during that time, and despite the...

4 Helmi 202542min

Familiarity Breeds Contempt (And Other Underappreciated Consequences of Digital Communication)

Familiarity Breeds Contempt (And Other Underappreciated Consequences of Digital Communication)

There has been a lot of cultural discussion of the way digital technologies and social media contribute to things like political polarization and adolescent depression.But as I'll explore with Nichola...

28 Tammi 202553min

How to Use Leverage Points to Get Unstuck in Work and Life

How to Use Leverage Points to Get Unstuck in Work and Life

When people get stuck in their job or personal life, the common response is to either work harder or shrug and accept that "that's just the way things are."My guest today has a much better solution to...

21 Tammi 202550min

Suosittua kategoriassa Koulutus

rss-murhan-anatomia
psykopodiaa-podcast
voi-hyvin-meditaatiot-2
adhd-podi
rss-narsisti
rss-rahamania
rss-vapaudu-voimaasi
psykologia
rss-liian-kuuma-peruna
rss-valo-minussa-2
rahapuhetta
kesken
jari-sarasvuo-podcast
ihminen-tavattavissa-tommy-hellsten-instituutti
rss-duodecim-lehti
rss-turun-yliopisto
uskonnon-pitka-oppimaara
rss-niinku-asia-on
aamukahvilla
rss-tietoinen-yhteys-podcast-2