From 25 Procedures to Adoption: Jessica Fein's Family Journey

The laughter of her three children stopped her from stepping off the edge—but that was only the beginning of her story. Jessica Fein—writer, podcaster, and relentless optimist—joins Dara Levan to share her extraordinary journey through unimaginable loss and profound joy. At 27, Jessica lost her sister and best friend. Over the following decades, she lost both parents and another sister. After 25 failed fertility procedures, she and her husband adopted three children from Guatemala. Then their middle child, Dahlia, was diagnosed with a rare mitochondrial disease called MURF syndrome. Jessica shares the brutal reality of caregiving: Dahlia became ventilator-dependent, unable to walk, talk, or eat, requiring 24/7 care for eight years until her passing in March 2022. Jessica opens up about ambiguous grief—grieving someone still alive—and how she learned to sit with sadness rather than solve it. She reveals the pivotal moment she discovered her "strong face" was harming her other children and why joy and suffering are deeply intertwined.

Keywords: Jessica Fein, grief, loss, mitochondrial disease, ambiguous grief, caregiving, adoption, special needs parenting, podcast, I Don't Know How You Do It, Dahlia, MURF syndrome.


0:00 - Intro
2:07 - Losing sister at 27 & family of origin
3:16 - 25 fertility procedures & adoption
6:20 - Dahlia's hearing loss diagnosis
9:18 - Degenerative disease & ICU
15:03 - 24/7 caregiving reality
19:27 - Dahlia passes away
20:44 - Learning to sit with sadness
22:55 - Don't "should" people in grief
25:53 - Different losses in same family
30:13 - Understanding ambiguous grief
35:19 - Six people in the world
37:44 - Giving each other a night off
43:09 - The "strong face" mistake
48:24 - Where to find Jessica
49:46 – Outro


• https://www.instagram.com/dara.levan/
• Website: daralevan.com3
https://www.jessicafeinstories.com/


QUOTES:


"It's such a gift to know when you're going through it that it's an actual thing. When there's a name for something, it takes its power away."
– Jessica Fein


"I think it's important to de-stigmatize grief. Let's make it more comfortable to discuss."
– Dara Levan