The Neurodiverse Compass & Understanding How We Can Better Navigate Through Time & Space: Jill Corvelli

Dr. Jill Corvelli has created "The Corvelli ND Compass", and she talks about how this model guides her work with neurodiverse couples, as well as how she is using the “Compass” to help neurodiverse couples better understand how they both navigate through time and space. The model focuses on three core components and each is critical to moving from misunderstanding and challenges, to understanding and acceptance. During this episode, Jill shares how her Compass helps couples increase "education" about each other, so they can come up with a playbook that helps them bridge different styles. How "Niche Construction", helps both partners better understand the rituals, behaviors and practices that are important in their relationship. Increase understanding of "Developmental Change" and how couples move from "bonding", during the initial phase of their "love relationship” to "differentiation", where they are often activating each other, as they work on making space for their differences. Jill also talks about how challenging it can be when "reactivity" becomes an ongoing issue and then partners are chronically going into "flight, fright or flee" mode. She provides ways in which to address this and talks about how triggering this can be to both partners. We also talk about the challenge of "pseudo-motivation", when one partner is not fully committed to working on themselves, or the relationship, and how Jill can help address and possibly change this. Jill also talks about how important it is for her take a leadership role when she begins working with a neurodiverse couple and how she works to ensure that the couple is skilled at using the most valuable techniques and tools because they have educated themselves, engaged in niche construction and understand the developmental changes that have occurred in their relationship. She also talks about the importance of both partners doing work between sessions, so that small and consistent changes can occur. We also review some of the assessment tools and processes Jill uses to better understand each couple she works with; the importance of understanding each other's values; and getting a better understanding of how each partner contributes to making it difficult for their partner to give them what they want. We end this outstanding episode with a brief discussion about sexual intimacy and with Jill sharing how important it is for neurodiverse couples, and the therapists and coaches working with them, to have hope that neurodiverse couples can thrive and learn how to have a healthy relationship that can meet the needs of both partners. To contact Jill you can check out her website at: www.jillcorvelli.com. On her website you can also find more information about her self-study courses, her 12 hour intensives and the groups she offers on 6 different topics. You can also purchase her self-study courses at: www.neuroific.com.

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