Understanding Grief, Healing Anger and Validating Each Other's Perspective-Stephen Robertson

During this episode I have an opportunity to talk with another AANE Certified Therapist, Stephen Robertson. Stephen talks about his own neurodiverse journey and some of the lessons he learned after his marriage ended. He also shares how it took him a lifetime to get his Autism diagnosis and some of the challenges he had with therapy...until a therapist suggested he might be autistic. His graduate thesis was on "what it is like to be an autistic person in a Master's program" and during that process he learned a lot about himself, and why he and his ex-wife had such different perspectives on marriage.

When working with neurodiverse couples Stephen takes time to meet with each partner separately. He has learned that their stories about the challenges in the relationship can be SO different. Stephen also stresses how important it is for both partners to understand each other's perspectives and he talks about how he uses several of the tools and techniques he learned through AANE to help address this: the Duck/Bunny picture and QAAA. In addition, Stephen provides lots of valuable information about his own personal journey and his commitment to helping neurodiverse couples thrive. More specifically he discusses:

• The value of slowing down, listening and validating each other.
• Determining if the patterns in your relationship are serving you and your partner.
• Understanding what your anger is telling you (ie: unmet need?)
• Grieving for the relationship you thought you would have.
• Creating trust and genuine interest in your partner.
• The importance of remaining curious.
• How some of our coping mechanisms are destructive.
• The way things changed when he and his ex-wife moved in together and how much she taught him.
• Don't expect you partner to read your mind.
• How "understanding" has been a gift.
• The "work" will continue throughout our lifetime.

You can contact Stephen at the Neurodiverse Couples Counseling Center in San Jose, CA.

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If you are interested in becoming an AANE certified therapist, or coach, or would like to register for the "Neurology Matters' training available through AANE, for couples or individuals in neurodiverse relationships, you can register at: aane.thinkific.com. Please use the code NeurodiverseLove25 to get 25% off the registration fee. To learn more about AANE, or to find an AANE certified therapist or coach in your area, please click here and look at the map halfway down the page. _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ If you liked this episode, please rate it, provide a review and subscribe to the podcast, so you don't miss an episode.

For more information about the support groups available for "neurodiverse couples" or the "neurotypical/non-autistic partners", please check out: www.neurodiverselove.com or follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love. You can also contact Mona at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com.

Thank you for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love community!