Unidentified Autism, Monotropism and Demand for Autonomy-Guest Co-host Greg Fuqua

On the 3rd Friday of the month from 12:30-2pm EST, Greg Fuqua and Mona Kay will be co-facilitating a mixed neurotype support group for individuals (not couples). This is a "drop-in" support group, so you can attend whenever you want, however spots are limited. The cost is ONLY $25 per session and you can click here to register. If you have any questions about the support group, please email Mona at: neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com

In addition, if you would like to buy access to the Communication Workshop that Mona and Greg co-facilitated and the workbook that was created for the workshop you can click here.

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During this episode, Mona Kay and Greg Fuqua talk about unidentified autism, monotropism and persistent demand for autonomy. Each of these topics is discussed in detail and some of the issues addressed are:

• Gaps in identity and not knowing how you’re perceived.
• What does it mean to be autistic?
• Understanding your neurodivergence can be life changing and empowering.
• How do you look at your relationship through a new lens when you know you’re a neurodiverse couple?
• When you don’t understand your communication differences, emotional needs, socializing differences and then you discover you’re a neurodiverse couple.
• Knowing the why behind why you’re having challenges as a couple.
• The stigma around autism can make the discussion challenging.
• Lead with love and curiosity.
• Ask yourself why it's so important for your partner to receive a diagnosis when they are unidentified?
• It may be helpful to talk about autistic traits or neurodivergence.
• Both partners need to be growing and become more self aware. But you may be growing at different speeds.
• Look at the different options ND couples can consider in their relationship. Creative solutions are okay.

• Our journey’s can look very different.
• Know your boundaries.
• Monotropism-a persons tendency to focus their attention on a small number of things.
• Lends itself to intense experiences, deep thinking and flow states.
• Can contribute to context blindness.
• Autistic inertia.
• Validate and support your partner’s passions and self interests and negotiate how they can shift when needed.
• Capacity and stress may contribute to more monotropism.
• Welcome the questions your partner asks when you talk about your passion or special interests.
• It feels good and calms your nervous system when you know your partner has heard and understood you.
• Processing preferences and needs.
• Persistent Demand for Autonomy (PDA).
• Being flexible regarding decision making.
• Not understanding lack of follow through. Losing trust and respect for your partner.
• Using affirmation instead of making a request for more demands.
• Talking about intent and process is so important.
• Making your partner feel good about themselves rather than demanding something.
• Are you assuming your partner has positive or good intent?

If you would like to contact Greg you can email him at:

GFuqua70@gmail.com or check out his website at: www.Gregfuqua.com