Attending to the Stories Behind Trauma Cycles in Marriage w/Dan & Becky Allender, 8-9 Pairing

Attending to the Stories Behind Trauma Cycles in Marriage w/Dan & Becky Allender, 8-9 Pairing

Giving space for suffering and holding space for one another, as well as working through life and generational trauma in marriage are essential practices for long-term couples. Almost everyone has been through something hard or incapacitating by the time they are married for any number of years. Today Christa is joined by the esteemed Dr. Dan Allender and Becky Allender, co-founders of The Seattle School/The Allender Center, who in their 8-9 pairing have helped hundreds of thousands of people to overcome issues of trauma of all kinds. They share tips in general and reveal some of their own restorative narratives in their marriage, as well as how to suffer alongside each other and address one's own trauma triggers, which are especially helpful when contempt arises. Dan has authored Healing the Wounded Heart, The Cry of the Soul, and more and Becky has authored Hidden in Plain Sight: One Woman's Search for Identity, Intimacy, and Calling. Together they also offer marriage retreat intensives, courses, and more! Watch on YouTube here! The Allender Center specializes in training pastors, therapists, group leaders, lay counselors, and community and business leaders to understand their own stories to more deeply enter the lives of those they are called to love and serve. We come alongside to equip and develop skills for wading into the difficult waters of heartache, trauma, and abuse. Find their resources, books, and marriage retreat info here. https://theallendercenter.org/ Find Dan's podcast here! Use the code ENNEAGRAM15 to get 15% off of one of their marriage video courses here! To work through your relationship needs, make sure to visit www.EnneagramandMarriage.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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The Body Keeps the Score in the Bedroom: Intimacy, Safety, and Learning to Regulate

The Body Keeps the Score in the Bedroom: Intimacy, Safety, and Learning to Regulate

We often treat physical intimacy as something that happens only in the moment, but the body carries far more than the moment. It carries our history, our stress, and our old wounds, everything it has ...

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How The Odyssey Maps the Journey of Your Own Growth

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Many Enneagram teachers have used the Odyssey as a way to talk through the nine types, since there are nine temptations, nine believable reasons to never make it home. Yet each island of trials offers...

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When Sex Feels Like One More Thing to Do

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Here Christa turns to a different weight so many couples carry: what happens when the body is simply depleted, exhausted, touched-out, and running on empty, and sex stops feeling like connection and s...

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As a special invitation in the middle of our summer exploring desire and intimacy in marriage, Christa pauses to learn from and to share an experience with a soulful friend, welcoming Meredith Hite E...

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Play as a Path Back to Desire: How Fun Reignites Your Sexual Intimacy

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Today, Christa reveals the surprising other half of the connection coin when it comes to sexual intimacy: desire does not only need safety, it needs aliveness. Christa names the play deficit that cree...

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Seen, Known, and Wanted:  The Three Keys to Real Sexual Intimacy

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Why do so many couples feel stuck in the bedroom even after decades of marriage? Christa goes straight at the real reason in this episode, the armor we put on to avoid being truly seen. Being physical...

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Afterglow: The 48 Hours That Change Your Marriage

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We tend to think of physical intimacy as a moment, here and then gone. But the research reveals it is actually a window, a lingering afterglow that lasts up to forty-eight hours, and what happens insi...

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