215 SelfWork: Ten Fears You Choose to Face When You Risk Giving Up Control

215 SelfWork: Ten Fears You Choose to Face When You Risk Giving Up Control

Today’s podcast is one that, if you’ve been listening to SelfWork for a while, you know that this topic has been my own personal passion – as it’s closely aligned with my work on perfectly hidden depression. We’ll talk about ten fears you face when you choose to give up or ease out of being or looking as if you're in total control.

Those ten fears are:

  • The fear of vulnerabilty
  • The fear of uncertainty or unpredictability
  • The fear of facing the past
  • The fear of your anger exploding as it's been long suppressed
  • The fear of not being able to forgive yourself/your imperfections
  • The fear of there being no other way to succeed
  • The fear of rejection
  • The fear of not being needed
  • The fear of being wrong
  • The fear of intimacy

The listener email comes from a graduate psychology student whose experiencing greater and greater insecurity as the end of her training approaches. She wants to know if I felt the same way and what recommendations I could make. How do you bolster your self-confidence when you can’t measure the success of your efforts?

Important Links:

BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!

Episode 214 with Lewis Howes

Elliot Cohen Psychology Today article

You can hear more about mental health and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism or need for control which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

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519 SelfWork: Daring to Face the Fear of Public Speaking (And Other Anxieties)

519 SelfWork: Daring to Face the Fear of Public Speaking (And Other Anxieties)

Dr. Margaret and her TEDx speech coach, Brian Miller, talk about challenging the fear of public speaking and the importance of human connection. "Go out and make a dent in the universe." These are th...

9 Loka 41min

518 SelfWork: How To Use Your Innate Intuition to Heal and Grow

518 SelfWork: How To Use Your Innate Intuition to Heal and Grow

Today we're talking with two experts on tuning into your own intuition. Sarah Gregg is a psychologist and a published author with over 90,000 copies of her books sold. And Jill Ritchie is a highly so...

2 Loka 38min

517 SelfWork: Challenging Your Fear and The Underlying Assumptions That Keep It Alive

517 SelfWork: Challenging Your Fear and The Underlying Assumptions That Keep It Alive

There’s a word for intense fear of change. Metathesiophobia. That’s when your fear of change is so strong and affects your life so intensely that you’ve developed an actual phobia around change. If t...

25 Syys 22min

516 SelfWork: Panicked About Panic: 5 Surefire Ways to Calm Your Nervous System

516 SelfWork: Panicked About Panic: 5 Surefire Ways to Calm Your Nervous System

Having a panic disorder is bad enough. You may be able to anticipate it happening; for example, if you tend to panic when you see a spider or a snake. But other times, panic attacks – the sudden ons...

18 Syys 24min

515 SelfWork: Enhance Your Skills: Listening Someone Into Existence with Doug Noll

515 SelfWork: Enhance Your Skills: Listening Someone Into Existence with Doug Noll

Today we'll focus on how to listen to someone so that they feel truly understood and seen. And it may not be a kind of listening that you know about. It's a method called "affect labeling" - meaning ...

11 Syys 35min

514 SelfWork: Three Essential Questions to Identify Your Role Model

514 SelfWork: Three Essential Questions to Identify Your Role Model

Today I'm focusing on three role models in my own life and the questions you can ask to help you identify your own. Dolly Parton. Maya Angelou. And a woman named "Snooky." Advertising Inquiries: ht...

4 Syys 23min

513 SelfWork: Inside A Psych Ward: A New Book by JaKob Williams, Chock Full of Nuts

513 SelfWork: Inside A Psych Ward: A New Book by JaKob Williams, Chock Full of Nuts

You may never have been on the inside of a psych ward. In his new book, JaKob Williams takes you there. Or at least, he takes you to his version of a residential psych ward. He's an interesting guy....

28 Elo 42min

512 SelfWork: CBT for Insomnia and Its 100% Effective Cure: Dr. Nick Wignall

512 SelfWork: CBT for Insomnia and Its 100% Effective Cure: Dr. Nick Wignall

Dr. Nick Wignall continues as Dr. Margaret's guest this week, as we switch from focusing on emotional fitness to the 100% effective CBT tool for curing insomnia, called sleep compression. It's hard t...

21 Elo 28min

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