1084: Dad's Kindness Flows But Her Instability Grows | Feedback Friday

You and your five siblings aren't close, but you all have one thing in common: you endured a childhood marred by abusive parents who played you against each other. Now that you're all adults, you'd like to unite your siblings to confront your parents as a group for some closure -- but you're not sure they're all on board with the idea. Is there a good way to convince them, or might it be possible to get the closure you're looking for without their help or even a confrontation at all? We'll get into this and more here on Feedback Friday! And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now let's dive in! Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/535 On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: Is it worth trying to unite your siblings for a confrontation with your abusive parents to gain a sense of closure? [Thanks to clinical psychologist Dr. Erin Margolis for helping us with this one!] You've postponed your wedding twice due to the pandemic, but two very close people in your life have passed away in the interim -- and it's hard to imagine having this wedding without them. Is there a way to somehow include and honor them in the ceremony? As a middle manager, you rely on your second-in-command to lead the department so you can focus on admin. Unfortunately, he fails at every step and creates more work for you than he saves. He can't be fired, transferred, or demoted, and he refuses to improve. What can you do? You're a teenager living in a household with your father and a verbally abusive stepmom who doesn't like teens. You'd prefer to live with your biological mother, but the custody agreement as it stands wouldn't allow it. How can you convince your dad and stepmother that changing the agreement would be the right move for everyone? You consider your current sales job as a placeholder until you can get your master's degree in mental health counseling. The hitch is that your program requires your completion of a nine-month internship that would fall during your busy season in two years. What's the least awkward way of bringing this up to your boss -- who doesn't yet know about your aspirations in a completely different field? Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect with Gabriel on Twitter at See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

16 Heinä 202147min

Greg McKeown (@GregoryMcKeown) is the host of the What’s Essential podcast, and author of the New York Times bestseller Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less. His latest book, Effortless: Make It Easier to Do What Matters Most, is out now. What We Discuss with Greg McKeown: If you want 10x the results of any endeavor without putting in 10x the effort, it's important to understand your ROE (return on effort). How the disciplined pursuit of less keeps you from getting overwhelmed with unexpected options and opportunities that come from what should be the good news of success. Why, if you find yourself procrastinating on a project because it's not perfect enough to your liking, you should delay a bad first draft and create a truly awful zero draft. Why "easy" does not (always) equal "lazy" and what you can do to work smarter rather than harder to avoid earning the meaningless badge of honor that burnout has become in the modern workforce. Five questions to ask yourself before taking on a project that's in danger of being overthought, overwhelming, and anything but effortless. And much more... Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/534 Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

15 Heinä 20211h 8min

Tristan Harris (@tristanharris) is a former Google design ethicist, primary subject of the acclaimed Netflix documentary The Social Dilemma, co-founder of the Center for Humane Technology, and co-host of the podcast Your Undivided Attention. What We Discuss with Tristan Harris: Why we're worth more to social engagement platforms as manipulatable slabs of predictable human behavior than as free-thinking individuals. How the social networks of the early 2000s so quickly turned from places where we could keep in touch with friends, family, and colleagues into disinformation amplifiers that contribute to the destabilization of democracies. Why your algorithm-tailored online experience so radically differs from that of your closest friends and loved ones, and why this is a problem when the public good is cast aside in the interest of keeping us engaged and enraged. The unintended consequences of allowing an algorithm to bring people together by what it sees as similar interests, and how this has thrown fuel on the disinformation fire. How attempting to outthink a social media algorithm is like trying to play chess against a computer that can look ahead and counter every move you could possibly make. And much more... Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/533 Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

13 Heinä 20211h 7min

You're a veteran who's been lucky enough to return home from war in one piece only to fight a new battle on two fronts: heroin and PTSD. How are you going to fight your way free of this doubly dangerous burden? We'll try to help with this and more here on Feedback Friday! And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now let's dive in! Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/532 On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: You're a veteran who's been lucky enough to return home from war in one piece only to fight a new battle on two fronts: heroin and PTSD. How are you going to fight your way free of this doubly dangerous burden? [Many thanks to Dr. Rubin Khoddam of COPE Psychological Center and Dr. Jennifer Mitchell, Deputy Associate Chief of Staff for Research and Development at the San Francisco VA Medical Center, for help with this one!] Your long-term partner has recently made it clear that he never wants to get married, which is at odds with your own expectations. It's an otherwise ideal, supportive relationship, but disagreeing on this subject casts a shadow over your future together. What should you do? You're a teenager attending a boarding school with peers you've known your whole life, but their toxic jockeying for position in the social hierarchy goes against your positive, perhaps more mature nature. Is there anything you can do to lift them up without being brought down in the process? You come from a family in which expressing feelings is forbidden, and problems are ridiculed or ignored rather than talked through. After 15 years of living abroad, you just can't deal with them like you used to. Now that you're visiting for the first time since the pandemic, you want to keep the trip shorter than they were expecting. Should you feel guilty? Your aunt makes a good living from her small business and wants you to take over when she retires in the next couple of years. But you have very little experience with running a business and you're not positive she's been on the level with her tax obligations -- which you don't want to get stuck dealing with down the line. How do you minimize your risk should you choose to go through with it? Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

9 Heinä 202148min

Bob Arno is a comedy pickpocket and criminologist specializing in global street crime, is the co-author of Travel Advisory: How to Avoid Thefts, Cons, and Street Scams While Traveling, and was featured in National Geographic's Pickpocket King documentary. [This is part two of a two-part episode. Make sure to catch part one here!] What We Discuss with Bob Arno: How Bob, the son of a judge, got involved in social engineering and pickpocketing for the purpose of entertainment. Why pickpockets are commonly targeted by terrorist organizations for radicalization efforts. How diversionary crime like pickpocketing has changed just like every other profession during the COVID-19 pandemic. How Bob is able to get close to real-life criminal pickpockets and learn their tricks of the trade without winding up in the hospital -- or worse. The psychology of a pickpocket -- what they're looking for in an ideal victim and what you can do to ensure you're not that victim. And much more... Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/531 Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

8 Heinä 202148min

Bob Arno is a comedy pickpocket and criminologist specializing in global street crime, is the co-author of Travel Advisory: How to Avoid Thefts, Cons, and Street Scams While Traveling, and was featured in National Geographic's Pickpocket King documentary. [This is part one of a two-part episode. Stay tuned for part two later this week!] What We Discuss with Bob Arno: How Bob, the son of a judge, got involved in social engineering and pickpocketing for the purpose of entertainment. Why pickpockets are commonly targeted by terrorist organizations for radicalization efforts. How diversionary crime like pickpocketing has changed just like every other profession during the COVID-19 pandemic. How Bob is able to get close to real-life criminal pickpockets and learn their tricks of the trade without winding up in the hospital -- or worse. The psychology of a pickpocket -- what they're looking for in an ideal victim and what you can do to ensure you're not that victim. And much more... Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/530 Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

6 Heinä 202148min

Your conspiracy-minded Mom subscribes to the tenets of QAnon, believes she's a half-human/half-alien starseed, and thinks Jim Carrey is playing Joe Biden in real life, and not just SNL. She's tough to take, and never respects the boundaries you try to set. Is there still room in your life for her? We'll try to get to the bottom of this and more here on Feedback Friday! And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now let's dive in! Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/529 On This Week's Feedback Friday, We Discuss: Your conspiracy-minded Mom subscribes to the tenets of QAnon, believes she's a half-human/half-alien starseed, and thinks Jim Carrey is playing Joe Biden in real life, and not just SNL. She's tough to take, and never respects the boundaries you try to set. Is there still room in your life for her? [Thanks to cult expert Steven Hassan for helping us with this one!] The closest friend you've ever had passed away earlier this year, and you've noticed yourself, against character, succumbing to overwhelming feelings of anger at unexpected moments. Does the rage from grief ever go away, or is this just who you are now? Disgruntled in your current leadership position, you've considered taking a lower stress, lower responsibility role where you don't have to hold people accountable. How do you know if you're making a wise move for your own mental health or throwing away an opportunity that will become manageable over time as you learn to adapt? You fell for your roommate. After a period of intimacy, she withdrew, citing a series of toxic relationships and a need to focus on her own self-discovery before committing to anything serious. You're trying to take this as an opportunity to work on your own issues, but the rejection still hurts. What can you do? You've recently applied for a job within your company. The thing is, a number of your contacts have applied for the same job and asked you for referrals. You don't want to damage your network by not responding at all, but it seems awkward to recommend other people for a job you want. How can you handle this delicately without sounding selfish or self-conscious? Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com! Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger. Connect with Gabriel on Twitter... See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

2 Heinä 202147min

Ulrich "The Mole" Larsen (@UlrichTheMole) is a family man from Denmark who spent 10 years undercover in North Korea infiltrating its illicit arms trade. [This is part two of a two-part episode. Part one can be found here!] What We Discuss with Ulrich "The Mole" Larsen: How did a young Danish chef and family man wind up working undercover in North Korea to disrupt its illicit arms trade? Why would the repressive regime that runs North Korea trust a young Danish chef and welcome him with open arms? How some low-status Westerners cozy up to the North Korean regime for the chance to boss around other Westerners visiting the country and the illusionary rush of power it gives them. The natural qualities and easygoing talents that made Ulrich such an ideal mole in a place where every move is surveilled and analyzed by invisible eyes from every nook and shadow. Why operating clandestinely in the DPRK is no job for a teetotaler. And much more... Full show notes and resources can be found here: https://jordanharbinger.com/528 Sign up for Six-Minute Networking -- our free networking and relationship development mini course -- at jordanharbinger.com/course! Like this show? Please leave us a review here -- even one sentence helps! Consider including your Twitter handle so we can thank you personally!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

1 Heinä 202155min