Self-Led Parenting with Susan Bauerfeld and Chris Parrott

In this episode I chat with Chris Parrott and Susan Bauerfeld about parental anxiety and Self-led parenting. They offer practical advice for parents struggling to regulate their emotions and remain present with their kids, and for IFS practitioners working with parents and families.

Chris and Susan are co-presenting a session at next week's 2024 IFS Annual Conference titled, Get Your Shift Together: Self-Led Parenting in a Culture Shaped by Worried Parts, which I'm super excited about.

Key Takeaways:

• Worry pulls attention inward, creating disconnection from the present moment. How can parents shift from worry to curiosity about what their children really need
• IFS provides a pathway for parents to unblend from worry and engage with Self Energy to stay calm and compassionate
• Is worrying really an act of love, or a protective part trying to manage discomfort?
• Emotional discomfort is part of life—how can parents help their children develop resilience without removing all discomfort from their experiences?
• "When you name it, you tame it"—learning to name parts reduces their intensity and fosters emotional regulation.
• Self-regulation in parents sets a foundation for children to build their own coping skills.
• How shifting parental focus from worry to connection creates better outcomes for children.

"Worry disconnects us from our parts, from our own Self Energy, and it disconnects us from our kids, and the greatest resource that our children have is the connection that they have with us" -- Chris Parrott

About Chris Parrott and Susan Bauerfeld:

Chris Parrott studied in London earning her MSc and Post MSc degree to become a BPS Chartered Counseling Psychologist. Parrott co-founded Your Self Series, a teen identity development program, and YourChatMat, tools to engage families in meaningful conversation. She is a Level 1-trained and Board Certified Life Coach working with emerging adults and with parents of pre-teens.

Susan Bauerfeld, PhD is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist, IFS Level II trained therapist, speaker, workshop leader, parent coach, and the proud mother of three wonderful, young adult sons. Recently retired from her private practice in Norwalk, CT, she has shifted her professional focus to giving presentations and workshops about parenting and managing anxiety at both national and international conferences and in her local community.

They are co-authors of the upcoming book Get Your Shift Together: How to Help Kids More by Worrying Less.

Mentioned in this episode:

• 2024 IFS Annual Conference, October 24-25, 2024
• How to Talk So Kids Will Listen by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish
• Dr. Eli Lebowitz, Yale School of Medicine

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