Sometimes We Fall, Sometimes We Fly

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Saturday, April 24th, 2021 - 8:03pm.

Yesterday morning at 11:49am, Elliot and I watched a live stream of the SpaceX launch from the Kennedy Space Center in Florida. Aboard SpaceX’s Dragon, four astronauts were bound for the International Space Station. This morning, twenty-four hours later, we watched the arrival at the ISS. The four astronauts who are destined to spend 6 months at the station, were greeted by the seven astronauts who have been on board for the past 6 months. Witnessing the four new arrivals float through the hatch into the arms of their fellow astronauts was moving. I can’t fathom spending six months in a tiny space station orbiting the Earth at a speed of over 17,000 miles per hour...but after this past year, I can relate to isolation and confinement in a way I never could before. Seeing them all hug each other felt like a victory.

The last time I watched live footage of a space launch was 35 years ago in my kindergarten classroom. A large TV had been rolled in for the occasion and there was much excitement. For the first time ever, there was a teacher on board, a woman named Christa McAuliffe. In part because of her presence, many schoolchildren were viewing the launch of the Challenger that day, and I was one of them.

As I think almost every American my age or older will recall: the Challenger broke apart just 73 seconds after launch, killing all 7 astronauts on board. It was absolutely shocking: a controlled burst of flames as the space shuttle lifted off followed by a deadly explosion just a minute later. I remember it dawning on me: this wasn’t supposed to happen, my teacher didn’t expect this, I wasn’t supposed to see this...the adults aren’t actually in charge. It was the first time that I realized that my parents, my teachers, the ‘grown-ups’ could do their best, but they wouldn’t always be able to prevent Bad Things from happening.

Yesterday I watched the SpaceX live stream seated beside my son, Elliot. He’s eight now, three years older than I was that day in January 1986. He watched the launch with wide eyes while holding five stuffed animals, so they could see it, too. Elliot is getting bigger, taller and more independent each day, but he still has so much childhood wonder and joy in his heart. He was fascinated and it was really special to watch it together. Yet as I stared at the countdown clock, I was brought back to that day in my kindergarten classroom. I was confident the SpaceX launch would go well, and yet I had a nagging feeling of worry: the adults aren’t actually in charge. But what was the alternative? Shield him? Hide him? Have him close his eyes, just in case?
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