#131 Why Some People "Have It All." (Or The Problem With A Single-Minded Focus)

Can You Really Have It All? Yes. Here's How.

I grew up thinking that only other people could have it all.

Health, wealth, happiness and all of the good things in life that come with them.

In my youth, I believed that having it all was only for other kids and people.

As an adolescent, I believed that only others could have self-confidence.
As a wrestler, I believed only others could win the state championship.
As a young adult, I believed that only others could be wealthy.

There always seemed to be something missing from my life that others had. And I wanted it.

So I set out to chase it.

I started a company called Riot Sports Marketing. (Some of my readers will remember me from those days!)

This was my way out. This was my way to freedom. To wealth. To total happiness and fulfillment.

I sunk myself into my work. I closed off other areas of my life so that I could focus on getting "there."

For 2 1/2 years, I kept my head down and worked on that company. I put everything into it. I had an investor and so it wasn't just all I had but some of what others had too.

After years of toil, it failed. When I finally shutter the business and lifted my head, my life was a mess. That which I set out to attain was further away than ever.

My relationship with Ali was broken.
I was deep in debt.
I wasn't spending enough time with my amazing children.
And I was in the worst physical condition of my life.

My desire to chase what I wanted ironically took me the opposite direction.

My desire to chase what I thought would bring me happiness brought me only brokenness.

Trying to have it all took me in the wrong direction.

The problem wasn't that I wanted to find happiness and fulfillment.
The problem wasn't that I was trying to have it all.
The problem wasn't that I worked really, really hard at something that I was passionate about.

The problem was that I'd only worked in one area of my life. I had a single-minded focus.

When I was an All American college wrestler, that single-minded focus is what helped me achieve my goal. However, no longer could I afford to use the same strategy.

Somewhere deep inside, you know that you can't either. You know that you have too many things pulling at you. Too many priorities.

But what are the right ones?

Through research, testing and teaching, I've discovered the four areas of your life where you must focus your attention in order to have it all.

Here they are (in this order):

-Relationships: Whether you read it in the Bible or you read it in the results of Harvard's Grant Study, one of the longest longitudinal studies of adult life, the evidence is conclusive that relationships are the most important ingredient of happiness.
(podcast- refer to action plan for link to fascinating TED Talk about it)

Interestingly, in a couple of my recent mastermind calls with my Reveal Your Path Pro groups, nearly every one of the men identified a one-on-one interaction as their highest value activity, both at home and at work. Whether it was putting their kids to bed or meeting with clients, it is people that are most important to us both personally and professionally.

Simply put, if you want to have it all, you must have clearly defined relationship goals and an action plan to achieve them.

-Self: Nobody wants to be in a rut. Nobody wants to be stuck.

We all want to be growing.
We all want to be part of something bigger.
We all want to have fun.

That's why you must... you MUST... have goals around personal growth (learning a new skill), impact (volunteering or philanthropy) and/or fun (doing what you love to do).

Health: It's no secret that health and fitness are important pieces to being happy. Look at anyone who you think has it all. They live a healthy lifestyle.

Exercise and a proper diet improve brain function, focus, productivity, self-confidence as well as reduces stress, anxiety, and depression.

There's no magic bullet. There's no shiny object. Just eat right and exercise.

-Wealth: Everyone wants more money.

Truth is, if you're reading this, you're doing pretty well.

The median household income worldwide is $9,733.

First, recognize that you are wealthy. Stop looking around you. Stop comparing yourself to what you see on Facebook, TV or in your neighbor's driveway.

Second, if you want to accrue more wealth, you must have a plan to do so. There's nothing wrong with wanting more wealth so long as you don't have evil plans to take over the tri-state area (a joke for those with kids who watch Fineas and Ferb).

While there are four areas of your life here, they are all connected.

My point is, you can have it all. You can hit your sweet spot. You just have to define what it is, be grateful for what you currently have and continue to make progress toward what you want.

You must first discover your core values.
Second, you must align your goals with those values.
Third, you must create your Environment of Excellence.
Finally, you will need to have a systematic plan for following through on your goals.

If you don’t have time to listen to the entire episode or if you hear something that you like but don’t have time to write it down, be sure to grab your free copy of the Action Plan from this episode-- as well as get access to action plans from EVERY episode-- at JimHarshawJr.com/Action/.

Let's connect:

Website | Facebook | Twitter

About Your Host Jim Harshaw

My name is Jim Harshaw. And I know where you’re at. You’re working hard and qualified for what you do but you aren’t getting what you want. You have plans on getting to the C-suite or launching a business but ultimate success seems as far away today as ever. You’re at the right place because you can get there from here.

And I can help.

Who I Am

I’m a speaker, coach, and former Division I All-American wrestler that helps motivated former athletes to reach their full potential by getting clarity on what they really want and taking aggressive action to lead their ideal life not just despite their prior failures but because of them.

I’m a husband and father of four. And I’m a serial entrepreneur. I’ve launched multiple successful businesses as well as the obligatory failed one. I’ve been the executive director of a non-profit and have raised millions of dollars. I’ve worked in sales. I’ve even been a Division I head coach. While I was born in a blue-collar home I have spent my life surrounded by Olympians, CEO’s and millionaires.

Jim Rohn said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

I’ve been lucky.

I’ve learned the habits of successful people and guess what. You’re just like them. I know because I know your type. You’re programmed for hard work, which is a prerequisite for success, but you’ve never been shown how to use what you know to create the life you want with the tools you have.

I will show you how.

Why You Are Here

You've worked hard to achieve greatness. You’ve set goals and maybe even set records. You’ve definitely failed and you’ve at some point found yourself questioning if you were on the right track.

You need to understand this: You are far more prepared to succeed than those who’ve not tried, competed, struggled and overcome like you have. That’s the value of your education as someone who aims high. You are prepared to be as successful as your wildest dreams will allow.

Here I will teach you, with the help of brilliant minds that have been shaped by failure, struggle, and adversity, to be who you want to be. I sense that you want this because you have read this far.

To take the next step today, click here.

FOLLOW JIM

Website | Facebook | Twitter