572 - Chris Distefano - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Eat the booty, if you want to be in the gang! That's a philosophy the mommies can definitely support! Trick loves the kids, but he's also way into eating the booty. We acknowledge and honor his passion. Are you passionate about it too? Please do tell us.  When the jeans step into the bedroom, it's full of hungry eyes and hardcore RAP! Tina knows her man likes beats and rhymes, so she's shifting her sensibilites and wooing her man with that BASS! Are farts foreplay? We think it is even if you don't think it is - It's Only Smells... There's only one group of people ruining the flowers in Elizabeth Park, do you know what type of gypsy we're referring to? Take a guess.  You gots to feed a bitch!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

23 Heinä 20141h 4min

Oh, Canada, you're such a nice place with really great denim and also you floss! This is the Live podcast by which all future live shows will be judged. The Canadian Mommies are real and HARD F***IN CORE! Toronto is no joke, you know what we're sayin? Tommy and Tina drop dreams on you! Who requested a T Bunz piledriver? Which race crawled up in Tina in her sleep-filled mind? We try to understand what people are sayin. Pretty sure that one of them is even too advanced for the most seasoned mom. Give it a shot, ketchup/mustard! Can Britney Spears sing? We have evidence that suggests your opinion on her vocals has always been on point. Plus Aunty FeeFee drops knowledge thru music and Top Dog raises even his own brown bar! Remember, "It's Only Smells."  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

18 Heinä 20141h 31min

Oh Jeans can you see, that America is the best and loudest place in the world! Can you tell when an A1 US of A person is around? Let's break it down! If someone told you to Go F yourself, could you? Black Salami has something show the people who doubt that he can. WARNING, it's NSFHE - Not Safe For Human Eyes.  How does God do a new thang if he's still doin the same thang?!?!?! Momstralia/Australia speaks English...sort of. Can you understand this bloke? We have Dental Updates all around plus more from our favorite Dog Trainer, Peter Caine. Things are getting weirder. Big Shouts to Ontario, Canada for all the love this past week. That's some real nice denim you guys have up there. This episode will make you wish your peepee was stuck in Budder. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

16 Heinä 20141h 15min

It's your mom's house! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

11 Heinä 20141h 3min

Hey YO!!!! What it do, Junior Boo Boo? It's so fun to make fun of family and we encourage you to PUSH THOSE LIMITS! If the elevator posts a weight limit, suggest to your mother/wife/son that they will break it - then point and laugh! We Bro'd down hard in the Bro to celebrate the greatest birthday ever for Country Numero UNO. Hope you got down too or at least thanked us for being the best.  Jeans In My C**T is STUCK in our heads and we hope it's in yours too. Care to hear it again? Good.  Tina and Tommy are seriously in the TV BIZ now. Will a network pick up Tom Farts in a Jar or Dog D**K Afternoon? We sure hope so (they're really good ideas).  One of our listeners actually worked for the mastermind behind Friday (not the movie) and Chinese Food (Is that also a movie?) and lets us in behind the curtain of his mediocrity.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

9 Heinä 20141h 6min

It's time to celebrate. America, either the land you're lucky enough to live in or lucky enough to wish you lived in is putting another candle in her cake. Show respect. Wear tighter, more form-fitting jeans. You know how Theo does it - 24/7 and to honor our son and one of the hardest MF's out there, our boy now has his own gear. It's official. We're still working on the percentage split with him, but it's out there.  We promise not to feed him vegan food. We really think Peter Caine would light us up if we did.  We read your emails, play a NEW GOOD song - not a horrific song, and basically have a jolly, good time doing this episode. We love you, Lady America. Here's to you! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

4 Heinä 20141h 8min

You guys are like salmon. You say you're more smarter, but ya'll are the stupidest mutherf***ers we have ever seen! Just kidding - we Love you!  The Mommy Dome is happy to welcome Christina's fellow castmate from Funniest Wins, Mr. Sydney Castillo! Sydney can come back whenever he wants as he is a total JEANS MACHINE (AKA a Natural Fit).  We break down the difference between Ft. Worth and Dallas, defend abusive coaches, Biggie vs Beatles, Dental Updates, OG WYR, plus the most epic TOM or BLACK ever! You are not prepared for the good times wrapped up in the episode! Stay Social! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

2 Heinä 20141h 14min

Take care of your rectum and its "situations" or get a Woolery-approved lubricant to stop the pools of blood.  We can't stop the madness and the madness is in the form of music. MAKE IT STOP! Or don't?  How come an itchy butt will just pop up out of nowhere? We break it down! We're thinking of getting a (legal) slave - PLUS Dental Updates, a NEW Corporate song and more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

27 Kesä 20141h 7min