558 - Taylor Tomlinson - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

558 - Taylor Tomlinson - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

SPONSORS: - Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code MOM20 at Manscaped.com - Use promo code "mom" for 10% off your first order at Brooklinen.com Welcome to Lucifer’s Lair with your hot hosts Tom Segura and Christina P. The main mommies start this episode off by posing a very pressing question: Is B stuff more tiring than V stuff? Jean and Jean then take a look at a new rendition of the Bee Gees classic “Stayin’ Alive.” Tom gives us a dental update, and Christina discusses her recent smurfday and the amazing cake Tom got her. They watch a video of a cool guy vaping, and an equally cool Donald Trump campaign video shot on an iPhone. They transition into discussing the recent Chris D’Elia news, as well as Joey Diaz and the culture of comedy clubs as a whole. They wrap up the segment by watching two more cool videos. In one a guy is able to excrete his beanbag out of his bottom; the other is just a cool lady going crazy on some paramedics. Taylor Tomlinson is a stand-up comedian, and host of the "Self-Helpless" and "This Is Important to Me" podcasts. She talks to Todd and Crystal about starting stand-up as a teenager, her religious parents, the passing of her mom, and her new Netflix special “Quarter-Life Crisis.” The discussion about Taylor’s parents leads Tom to call Top Dog and Charo and ask him their burning question about the B vs. the V. Top Dog insists that back-door is much more tiring. Charo is horrified. The Jeans bring Taylor up to speed on everyone’s favorite psychopath: Garth Brooks, as well as some other cool guys and gals. Tom discusses the brokest he’s ever been, and Christina discusses her Cream of Brown experience. They wrap up by watching some of CP’s TikTok curations, a lane of the Tok that Taylor didn’t know existed. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Live from the Ice House-217-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Live from the Ice House-217-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Stimulate our minds, Jeans! The Ice House is always bumpin when 2 Mommies wearing denim decide to sit down for some greezy time. A great crowd filled the room while many more watched it streaming online. This live show has amazing audio, mommy confessions, intimate talk, Fill Her Up and so much more! We just opened a new denim processing factory because of this episode!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

25 Huhti 20141h 39min

216-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

216-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Well a very heavy bertation tonight. We had a very derison bite. Lets go ahead terrison to the bit in the hit a bit. Make sense? Good. Ladies, watch out, it could happen to you (fingers crossed!). Theo has been going on SOLO adventures. We finally catch up to what he's been doing - he was not very forthcoming, for the record. Plus a touching Easter story from Tina and she REkindles the flame that is her passion for UB40. Can Tom decode what some black guy is saying? Did The Ultimate Warrior know where the Dudes were at?? We may be able to confirm that. Keep It Greezy! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

23 Huhti 201459min

215-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

215-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Wait, White what? Ohhhhh. This gets pretty advanced pretty quickly. Some people can't sing, some people aren't retarded. But some people are an interesting mix up of both. We break it down for you. You might be surprised when we listen to the greatest song of our generation and strip it down to it's suspiciously "special" voice. Are all children actually retard(ed) sounding? A "Bad Girl" asks if you know what she's saying, but she has a special twist! Plus a hockey player throws hit hat in the ring as he drops a mountain of "You Know's" in an interview. Wear HEADPHONES for this one! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

18 Huhti 20141h 2min

214-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

214-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Get out of that Country A** nonsense, pull up your denim and get ready for the get down. We got a hot new anthem for REAL MOMMIES ONLY. Plus, Tommy ran into Joey "Try Eating This and Living" Diaz on a flight and, yeah, meltdown came soon after. Real husbands say, "Show me how those big T**s fart" to their wives and maybe now, you will too? Pastor Manning is completely insane and we have the audio to prove it. REAL TALK is back and we are ready to ROAST the Duggars wildly selfish lifestyle. This episode is offensive.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

16 Huhti 20141h 2min

213-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

213-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

You know you're in good company when the WHITE HOUSE is listening to your show. We have pretty compelling evidence that suggests that President Obama listens to the show and keeps up with the YMH lingo. Maybe he'll be on the show soon? Hope so. If you and your boys are planning on getting together for a fun night of bro'ing down you should get a Naughty Boy and take that party to the next level! It's been a minute, but TOP DOG is back and he's got one of his "great ideas." Plus, you guessed it, he has a dump story. As if that didn't make you shart your shorts, there's MORE! OMG Maria is on this ep! She tells the uh, "story" of her latest car accident and names a new leader when it comes to foreigners who's language skills/attitudes upset her. You're not ready!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

11 Huhti 20141h 7min

212-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

212-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

WHAT WRONG WITH YOU? said the most awesome pastor ever. I'll let him finish his sentence. Have you seen that show, Masturbate Theater? It's pretty good and we have a clip. Mr. Selfridge has a very interesting French character who encourages a nice young English lady to meet his anus. What's up with Pro Wrestling, for real? When do you stop liking it? Do you wear Superman pajamas? Good. This ep has a BIG TIME Dental Update from TINA and a poop story for the ages from one of YOU!! LADIES, trim your tootsie nails - they're not supposed to hang over the edge. We discuss in a new NAILS segment. And, you guessed it, there's more sayin of You Know What I'm Sayin - You know what we're sayin?  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

9 Huhti 20141h 28min

Live from San Francisco-211-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Live from San Francisco-211-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

No need for a big description here - it's LIVE from San Francisco (Man Frandisco). Put on your old denim panties and enjoy this one (it's full of treats)! J-J-J-JEANS UNIT Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

4 Huhti 20141h 25min

210-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

210-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Ain't nothin in life free. P***y would be at the top of that list, especially for an ex-pat roided out Aussie pimp handling his Thai ho's. Make sense? Dude has some good points and a LOT of job stoppers (you'll soon understand). A man violated the safety and sanctity of our neighborhood in front of Tina and inTO a Yoplait (possible future sponsor?). We go to the Forensic Files to see if we can solve the case! Do families that masturbate together just, basically, get along the best? We just don't know. Tina left behind a life in the KGB to come to the US of A and today is the anniversary. Will she be allowed to stay? Obama decides! Wiping with a MAN'S wipe is new for Lady Jeans. We can't wait for her review. Most IMPORTANTLY we break down the new and accepted criteria for crowning the You Know What I'm Sayin Champion and it's a real GAME CHANGER. It's spring time, get that seasonal denim out!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

2 Huhti 20141h 18min

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