Overcoming the need for approval

Today we're talking about how to stop seeking the approval of other people, which, on the one hand, is a normal human desire, and on the other, can cause us the deepest suffering when we don't receive it. It can be especially worse when the approval or praise we seek is from our loved ones.

Our guest is Dave Drake, who practices Buddhism in New York City, and shares his journey with this very struggle, both in his personal life and as a musician, The episode is filled with practical insights about how to apply the practice of chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo to transform the desire for approval into of a life state of humility, appreciation, forward momentum and true confidence.

CHEAT SHEET

1:20 How Dave encountered Buddhism and decided to try chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo

3:23 The feeling that made him want to continue

7:26 The struggle of constantly seeking approval from others

12:35 How he approached chanting about this pattern in his life

19:42 The Buddhist quotes he loves

22:28 How his relationship with his father changed

31:06 What applying Buddhist philosophy to daily life looks like

40:35 Advice for anyone feeling stuck in a situation where they don’t feel seen

References mentioned:

• Learning From Nichiren’s Writings: The Teachings for Victory, vol. 4, p. 28
• Lecture: Everything Begins With Prayer Infused With the Shared Vow of Mentor and Disciple
• Discussions on Youth, p. 8