Healing Attachment Wounds with Elizabeth Ferreira

We all want a relationship that's more than just functional, we want one that's truly fulfilling. On today's episode Forrest is joined by a wonderful therapist and author who focuses on giving people the tools they need to communicate, navigate hard times, and create deeper connections with other people: Elizabeth Earnshaw. They explore:  How the pandemic impacted our relationships The Gottman approach The stages of a relationship Balancing differing needs for intimacy How to request, and give, repair. They then close the episode with a fun game focused on debunking common relationship myths. About our Guest: Elizabeth is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, the founder of A Better Life Therapy, and the author of I Want This to Work. You might also know her as @lizlistens on Instagram, where she’s helped countless people transform their relationships. From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Our holiday sale is going on now, and podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25  for another 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You  can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction. 1:45: Elizabeth’s background. 5:30: How did the pandemic impact relationships? 7:30: Responding to stress in relationships. 9:00: Co-regulation. 11:15: Punishing others for our unpleasant emotions.  13:45: The four stages of relationships. 17:50: What to look for in a partner.  20:10: The “Four Horsemen” of bad relationship communication.  24:25: Key skills for navigating conflict together.  27:00: How to request repair from your partner. 34:10: Deciding if you should leave. 37:45: Interdependence. 41:30: Balancing differing needs for intimacy. 46:30: The Instagram Meme Game: Common misconceptions about relationships. 47:30: “Partners should share everything with each other.” 50:30: “Your partner should be your ride or die.” 52:15: “Never go to bed angry.” 54:50: “My partner is my missing piece.” 56:35: “If you can’t handle me on my worst day, you don’t deserve me on my best day.” 1:02:05: Recap. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: From Boston Globe Media comes a new podcast, TURNING POINTS, a show about navigating mental health. Listen on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Find the new CBD+ performance gummies and the whole dosist health line-up today at dosisthealth.com. Use promo code BEINGWELL20 for 20% off your purchase.  Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

15 Marras 20211h 10min

Today we're continuing our exploration of the key inner strengths and psychological skills we truly feel like we couldn’t live without. In the second of two episodes dedicated to this topic, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson talk about joy, seeing the mind's deceits, keeping your good humor, the wild spirit, and finding meaning. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You  can watch this episode on YouTube. From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Our holiday sale is going on now, and podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25  for another 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:30: Cognitive restructuring: fighting your negative brain. 7:10: Not taking things so seriously.  9:40: The “stage play” of life. 12:40: Joy. 17:40: The wild spirit.  23:20: Breaking our patterns.  25:15: The “routinization of charisma.”  29:00: Finding meaning.  38:40: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: From Boston Globe Media comes a new podcast, TURNING POINTS, a show about navigating mental health. Listen on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Find the new CBD+ performance gummies and the whole dosist health line-up today at dosisthealth.com. Use promo code BEINGWELL20 for 20% off your purchase.  Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

8 Marras 202146min

Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson explore which key inner strengths and psychological skills they truly feel like they couldn’t live without. In the first of two episodes dedicated to this topic, they talk about benevolence, patience, curiosity, self-regulation, and grit.  Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Our holiday sale is going on now, and podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25  for another 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 3:00: What do you take with you? 4:15: Benevolence.  8:10: Patience.  12:15: What helps us learn how to wait? 16:40: The value of “asking the question.” 17:30: Curiosity. 22:30: Self-regulation. 28:30: Regulation enabling exploration. 32:30: Grit. 40:50: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: From Boston Globe Media comes a new podcast, TURNING POINTS, a show about navigating mental health. Listen on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Find the new CBD+ performance gummies and the whole dosist health line-up today at dosisthealth.com. Use promo code BEINGWELL20 for 20% off your purchase.  Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

1 Marras 202147min

Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson focus on two of our most important subjects, attachment wounds and traumatic experiences, with a longtime therapist, trainer of therapists, and world-class expert on attachment theory: Dr. Diane Poole Heller.  About our Guest: Dr. Heller focuses on using somatic, or body-based, approaches to help people resolve the painful experiences and negative patterns that hold us back. Her work on adult attachment has created a path for adults with childhood attachment injuries to develop the secure attachment skills that lead to more connected and fulfilling adult relationships. Key Topics: 2:30: What is attachment, and why should we care? 4:45: Secure attachment. 7:50: Avoidant attachment.  12:30: The potential for movement toward secure attachment. 16:00: Ambivalent (or anxious) attachment. 20:45: Disorganized attachment.  24:15: Somatic approaches to attachment wounds.  29:50: Allowing the body to move out of threat. 34:10: Secure attachment skills. 38:55: Repatterning ourselves.  47:20: Becoming more secure in connection.  50:30: Three questions to help calm relational activation. 55:45: A message to your younger self. 56:45: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: From Boston Globe Media comes a new podcast, TURNING POINTS, a show about navigating mental health. Listen on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Find the new CBD+ performance gummies and the whole dosist health line-up today at dosisthealth.com. Use promo code BEINGWELL20 for 20% off your purchase.  Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

25 Loka 20211h 1min

The most important relationship we have is with ourselves. You’re the only person you’ll be around every minute of every day for the rest of your life. And, unfortunately, that relationship is often our most difficult one. Today Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson explore how we can become better friends to ourselves, and learn to like ourselves more. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You  can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:20: What does it mean to “like ourselves?” 5:20: Why don’t people like themselves? 11:50: Giving yourself the same breaks you give others. 14:10: Regulating impulses.  19:15: Does “liking ourselves more” make someone narcissistic? 24:30: What supported Rick in liking himself more? 29:00: Seeing yourself clearly. 32:30: The IFS model and the caring committee.  36:30: Our nurturing parts. 39:10: A practicing of being for yourself. 45:10: Recap. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  From Boston Globe Media comes a new podcast, TURNING POINTS, a show about navigating mental health. Listen on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Find the new CBD+ performance gummies and the whole dosist health line-up today at dosisthealth.com. Use promo code BEINGWELL20 for 20% off your purchase.  Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

18 Loka 202151min

How can we create relationships that last? On this episode of Being Well, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson lean on Rick's 35+ years of couples counseling experience to explore how we can build relationships that are loving, healthy, enjoyable, and reliable. This includes learning the structure of most relationship problems, how to make vulnerable communications, and how to stay open to change. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You  can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:15: What issues brought couples into therapy most often? 4:50: The structure of most relationship problems. 12:30: Giving your partner what they need. 15:30: What differentiated couples that improved from those that didn’t? 21:15: Skills that increase the chances of building a good relationship. 21:45: Loving vs. liking.  25:00: Deliberately activating feelings of “liking.” 27:00: Getting “on the side” of the relationship. 31:10: How to make a vulnerable communication. 39:15: Openness to change.  43:40: Three red flags in relationships. 46:00: Practices to deepen your relationship with your partner. 54:30: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Find the new CBD+ performance gummies and the whole dosist health line-up today at dosisthealth.com. Use promo code BEINGWELL20 for 20% off your purchase.  New Day from Lemonada just premiered on September 15th - listen wherever you get podcasts. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

11 Loka 20211h 1min

In one of our favorite conversations, Dr. Jud Brewer joins us to explore the habit of anxiety, mindfulness practices to heal addiction, and what we can learn from the brains of the world’s most advanced meditators. About Our Guest: Dr. Jud is a psychiatrist, neuroscientist and New York Times best-selling author. He’s the director of research and innovation at Brown University’s Mindfulness Center, where he also serves as an associate professor, as well as the executive medical director of behavioral health at Sharecare Inc. Dr. Jud is also the author of The Craving Mind and Unwinding Anxiety: New Science Shows How to Break the Cycles of Worry and Fear to Heal Your Mind.  Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You  can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 2:00: What got Jud from psychiatry to studying mindfulness? 5:45: Addiction and the structure of habits.  10:15: Mindfulness as a treatment for addiction.  14:00: Liking without wanting. 19:45: Habit formation and reward-based learning. 24:00: Awareness, and honoring your experience. 26:15: Curiosity. 28:10: The “habit” of anxiety.  32:00: Anxiety’s habit loop. 34:45: The true purpose of worrying. 39:00: Generalized vs. acute anxiety.  41:00: Anxiety and performance.  46:20: Practices for unwinding from anxiety. 54:45: Learning from the brains of experienced practitioners.  1:03:30: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Find the new CBD+ performance gummies and the whole dosist health line-up today at dosisthealth.com. Use promo code BEINGWELL20 for 20% off your purchase.  New Day from Lemonada just premiered on September 15th - listen wherever you get podcasts. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

4 Loka 20211h 9min

In the second of two episodes, Dr. Rick and Forrest Hanson explore common self-help myths and misconceptions, including ones related to hedonic adaptation, "no pain no gain," and meditation. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You  can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:30: Misconception #1: People can’t really change in lasting ways/Hedonic adaptation stops people from becoming happier. 17:00: Misconception #2: No pain, no gain. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.  27:50: Misconception #3: You can only meditate by sitting quietly on a cushion.  41:15: Misconception #4: I can heal myself all on my own. Relying on a therapist means something is “wrong” with me. 50:00: Misconception #5: All therapy is talk therapy. It’s really cognitive and top-down. 57:45: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Find the new CBD+ performance gummies and the whole dosist health line-up today at dosisthealth.com. Use promo code BEINGWELL20 for 20% off your purchase.  New Day from Lemonada just premiered on September 15th - listen wherever you get podcasts. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

27 Syys 20211h 5min