Healing Attachment Wounds with Elizabeth Ferreira

How can we bring useful qualities of contemplative practice into our normal, everyday lives as people living in the real world? Senior meditation teacher and author Stephen Snyder joins us to explore that overarching question, alongside a variety of topics related to “not-self,” the true nature of the self, and self-transcendence. About our Guest: Stephen is a senior meditation teach who has been practicing meditation since 1976. He’s the author of three books, including Buddha’s Heart. Stephen is also a lawyer by trade, and has practiced law on behalf of a number of Zen masters and Buddhist organizations.  Life After COVID Summit: Join Dr. Rick Hanson, Forrest Hanson, and a roster of world-class experts during this FREE three-day online event to explore our life after COVID. Click here to learn more about the Summit and register now. Key Topics: 2:35: Stephen’s background in Buddhism.  6:30: A brief background in types of Buddhist practice. 10:30: Bringing practice into our work life. 14:00: Why do contemplative teachers behave badly?  17:50: Personality and the self. 20:00: “Not-self” and the end of suffering.  23:20: Why would we want to “transcend” the self? 26:10: Maintaining practice during a normal life.  29:45: Do we have a “self,” and the fear of emptiness. 33:30: Suffering attached to the self.  35:30: What do we get out of practice? 39:30: The purpose and limitations of meditation. 41:45: The threat of change.  44:10: The “brahmavihārās,” and Buddha’s Heart 47:00: Practices for self-development. 52:30: What’s ‘in’ a self-transcendent experience? 56:30: Ways to experience self-transcendence.  1:02:10: Recap Forrest has a new YouTube channel! Subscribe to the channel, and watch his newest video over there.  Sponsors: From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Start a new healthy habit with Seed! Visit seed.com/beingwell and use code BEINGWELL to get 20% off your first month of Seed’s Daily Synbiotic. Connect with the show: Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

5 Huhti 20211h 7min

One of the hardest, and most important, parts of creating great relationships is setting healthy boundaries with other people. Boundaries expert Nedra Glover Tawwab joins the show to explore how we can trust our instincts, work through codependency, and build better boundaries.  About Our Guest: Nedra has been a therapist for 13 years, and focuses on helping people build better relationships by teaching them how to implement healthy boundaries. Her work has been featured in The New York Times, The Guardian, Psychology Today, Self, and Vice, and she’s the author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace, on sale now. You also might have encountered Nedra’s work on Instagram, where she has an extremely popular page that shares wonderful content.  Life After COVID Summit: Join Dr. Rick Hanson, Forrest Hanson, and a roster of world-class experts including Nedra during this FREE three-day online event to explore our life after COVID. Click here to learn more about the Summit and register now. Key Topics: 1:40: What drew Nedra to her work on boundaries.  4:25: Early signs that your boundaries are strong or flimsy. 6:20: Honoring the needs of children. 8:45: Trusting your instincts.  11:40: Codependency. 13:05: How healthy boundaries support intimate relationships. 15:15: Distinctions between different kinds of boundaries 17:20: Working with feelings of selfishness.  19:45: Walking through a process of setting a boundary.  23:30: Anxiety associated with setting boundaries.  26:00: Dealing with people who won’t change.  30:40: Self-esteem and self-worth. 35:55: Fear and guilt. 39:50: Teaching people that boundaries are okay. 44:30: Respecting the boundaries of other people. 46:30: Accepting and letting go. 51:00: Creating healthy internal boundaries. 54:00: A message to your younger self.  Forrest has a new YouTube channel! Subscribe to the channel, and watch his newest video over there.  Sponsors: From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

29 Maalis 20211h 4min

The creator of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Dr. Steven C. Hayes, joins the show to help us explore how to use techniques from this powerful approach to therapy to address major challenges and improve our wellbeing. About our Guest: Dr. Steven C. Hayes is Nevada Foundation Professor in the Behavior Analysis program at the Department of Psychology of the University of Nevada. He's the creator of ACT, and the  author of 44 books and over 600 scientific articles. His most recent book is A Liberated Mind: How To Pivot Toward What Matters, an essential guide to ACT.  Life After COVID Summit: Join Dr. Rick Hanson, Forrest Hanson, and a roster of world-class experts including Dr. Hayes during this FREE three-day online event to explore our life after COVID. Click here to learn more about the Summit and register now. Key Topics: 2:25: The basics of ACT. 5:30: The Lord of the Rings and psychological flexibility. 7:15: Accepting our own history.  10:45: How can we accept painful things? 13:45: Language, technology, and how it gets in the way. 18:00: Coming into the present moment. 21:00: Determinism, autonomy, and agency. 26:30: How can we make change last? 29:30: Steven’s experience with accepting tinnitus.  34:45: How to keep growing when the world pushes back. 45:30: Giving people an opportunity to impress you. 49:00: Dealing with anger.  53:30: Pitfalls while using ACT.  56:10: Recap Forrest has a new YouTube channel! Subscribe to the channel, and watch his newest video over there.  Sponsors: From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

22 Maalis 20211h 2min

How can we bring together psychological science and contemplative practice, and what can we all learn from the world’s great wisdom traditions? Dr. Roger Walsh, a professor of psychiatry, philosophy, and anthropology, and expert on the world's great wisdom traditions, joins the show to help us explore this central question. About Our Guest: Roger is professor of psychiatry, philosophy, and anthropology, as well as professor in the religious studies program at UC Irvine. His scholarship has had a huge impact on the fields he’s participated in, and he’s the author of a number of wonderful books.  Life After COVID Summit: Join Dr. Rick Hanson, Forrest Hanson, and a roster of world-class experts during this FREE three-day online event to explore our life after COVID. Click here to learn more about the Summit and register now. Key Topics: 1:35: What drew such a successful academic toward contemplative practice? 7:30: Conflict and synergy between psychological science and contemplative practice. 10:30: The challenges of translating ancient wisdom. 12:25: The maturation of spiritual faith.  16:30: What helps people move from one developmental stage to another? 22:00: The gradual process of self-development. 25:15: Commonalities among the world’s many wisdom traditions. 33:00: Things that hold us back.  39:45: Therapeutic lifestyle changes. 44:00: What can we do for the world? 50:50: Many small impacts. 53:00: Non-judgementality and non-attachment. 58:00: Recap Forrest has a new YouTube channel! Subscribe to the channel, and watch his newest video over there.  Sponsors: From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

15 Maalis 20211h 2min

Ever heard of the marshmallow experiment? The 10,000 hour rule? How about the Dunning-Kruger effect, the Stanford prison experiment, or willpower fatigue? These are some of the most well-known pieces of research from the social sciences. And they all share one problem: they're wrong. Or, at least, they're really misunderstood. On this episode of "10 Good Minutes," Forrest explores social science's Replicability Crisis, and asks whether you can actually trust the research that goes into Being Well. If you'd like to watch this episode rather than listen to it, Forrest has a new YouTube channel! Subscribe to the channel, and watch the video over there.  From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Cited Research: Kruger, J.; Dunning, D. (1999) "Unskilled and Unaware of It: How Difficulties in Recognizing One's Own Incompetence Lead to Inflated Self-Assessments.”  Nuhfer, Edward; Cogan, Christopher; Fleischer, Steven; Gaze, Eric; Wirth, Karl. (2016) "Random Number Simulations Reveal How Random Noise Affects the Measurements and Graphical Portrayals of Self-Assessed Competency.”  Shoda, Y., Mischel, W., & Peake, P. K. (1990). Predicting adolescent cognitive and self-regulatory competencies from preschool delay of gratification: Identifying diagnostic conditions.  Tyler W. Watts, Greg J. Duncan, Haonan Quan. (2018) Revisiting the Marshmallow Test: A Conceptual Replication Investigating Links Between Early Delay of Gratification and Later Outcomes.  B. Nyhan , J. Reifler. (2010) “When Corrections Fail: The Persistence of Political Misperceptions.” Wood, T., Porter, E. (2018) “The Elusive Backfire Effect: Mass Attitudes' Steadfast Factual Adherence.”  Brown NJ, Sokal AD, Friedman HL. (2013). The complex dynamics of wishful thinking: the critical positivity ratio.  Haney, C., Banks, C., & Zimbardo, P. (1973). Study of Prisoners and Guards in a Simulated Prison. Baumeister, R.F. (2002) Ego Depletion and Self-Control Failure: An Energy Model of the Self's Executive Function.  Carter E.C., Kofler L.M., Forster D.E., McCullough M.E. (2015) A series of meta-analytic tests of the depletion effect: Self-control does not seem to rely on a limited resource.  Brown N.J., Sokal A.D., Friedman H.L. (2013). The complex dynamics of wishful thinking: the critical positivity ratio.  Ericsson, A. K. (2008) Deliberate Practice and Acquisition of Expert Performance: A General Overview.  Life After COVID Summit: Join Dr. Rick Hanson, Forrest Hanson, and a roster of world-class experts during this FREE three-day online event to explore our life after COVID. Click here to learn more about the Summit and register now. Connect with the show: Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

13 Maalis 202120min

During this time of increased isolation our needs for connection are harder to meet than ever. Today Rick and Forrest are exploring how we can use the psychological technique of "attunement" to connect better with others, and meet our own need for connection. Life After COVID Summit: Join Dr. Rick Hanson, Forrest Hanson, and a roster of world-class experts during this FREE three-day online event to explore our life after COVID. Click here to learn more about the Summit and register now. Key Topics: 2:15: Moments that satisfy our need for connection.  5:45: The “Still Face Experiment”  8:55: Attention, availability, responsiveness.  10:35: Which relationships fill you up? 13:50: What is attunement? 18:40: The “emotional risk” of attunement.  24:30: Paying attention.  31:20: Being open to being changed. 33:10: Do I matter to you? 37:30: Availability and co-regulation. 41:15: “Our interactions are systems.”  42:30: Rick pushes back a bit on co-regulation. 44:50: The impact of our nature on how we view interactions. 47:45: Becoming responsive. 52:40: Communicating wants and needs.  57:40: Respecting your own needs.  59:15: The impact of social power and privilege on our interactions. 1:04:30: Recap Forrest has a new YouTube channel! Subscribe to the channel, and watch his newest video over there.  Sponsors: From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

8 Maalis 20211h 10min

Everyone has needs, there’s no avoiding them. In order to "be well" we need to meet those needs. But being "needy" is often viewed as a weakness, and accepting that we have needs can be painful. On today's episode, Rick and Forrest explore how we can accept our needs, identify the needs that are most important to us, and build the resources to meet our needs and the needs of other people.  Life After COVID Summit: Join Dr. Rick Hanson, Forrest Hanson, and a roster of world-class experts during this FREE three-day online event to explore our life after COVID. Click here to learn more about the Summit and register now. Key Topics: 2:30: The three core needs. 5:00: What it feels like when you don’t meet your needs.  8:45: The pain of not meeting needs for connection.  13:30: Rick’s story of coming to terms with being “needy.” 20:00: Admitting our needs.  27:00: Identifying our primary needs.  31:00: Forrest and Rick process an interaction.  37:45: Trying on different ways of being. 39:45: Key suggestions for identifying needs.  44:45: Resilience through meeting needs.  46:30: Meeting the needs of other people. 54:30: Healthy boundaries.  1:04:00: Recap Forrest has a new YouTube channel! Subscribe to the channel, and watch his newest video over there.  Sponsors: From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Explore your creativity at Skillshare.com/BEINGWELL and get a free trial of their Premium Membership. Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

1 Maalis 20211h 9min

Relationships are hard, and making them last is even harder. Today we’re exploring how we can be happier and healthier in all of our relationships with a wonderful clinician, teacher, and researcher: Dr. Stan Tatkin. About our Guest: Dr. Stan Tatkin is an expert on human behavior, and particularly the unique dynamics found in couples relationships. He’s the creator of PACT: the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy, and the author of six bestselling books, including Wired for Love and We Do. Life After COVID Summit: Join Dr. Rick Hanson, Forrest Hanson, and a roster of world-class experts during this FREE three-day online event to explore our life after COVID. Click here to learn more about the Summit and register now. Key Topics: 1:45: The importance of attachment.  5:30: What happens when children are neglected? 9:00: Finding safety in our relationships. 13:30: How to build safety through physical cues.  19:10: Apology, and building a culture in our relationships. 23:00: Finding common principles.  31:00: Dealbreakers, and entering relationships intentionally. 37:00: Fairness in our relationships.  45:30: Being and staying interested. 49:15: Trusting your partner’s experience.  54:50: The most important characteristics in a life partner. 57:00: What’s the most important thing you do each day for your own well-being? 58:30: A message to your younger self. 1:00:00: Recap Sponsors: From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Explore your creativity at Skillshare.com/BEINGWELL and get a free trial of their Premium Membership. Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

22 Helmi 20211h 5min