179. Finding Positive in Negative Emotions: Communication, Happiness & Wellbeing

179. Finding Positive in Negative Emotions: Communication, Happiness & Wellbeing

A double definition of happiness — and how to cultivate both parts.


The new year gives us an opportunity to reflect on who we are and who we want to be. As we set resolutions and prepare for evolutions, this special four-part series on communication, happiness, and well-being explores practical ways to enhance our lives through better communication, deeper connections, and more meaningful choices.

There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to happiness, but according to Laurie Santos, everyone needs the two key components of contentment and fulfillment — or as she puts it, being happy in your life and happy with your life.

“Being happy in your life [means] your life is filled with joy,” explains Santos, a Yale psychology professor and host of The Happiness Lab podcast. This felt sense of happiness — enjoying where we are, what we do, and who we’re with — is essential, but it’s not the only piece of the puzzle. Being happy with your life, she says, is the belief that “your life is going well. Being happy with your life gets closer to things like fulfillment and purpose.”

In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Santos joins Matt Abrahams to explore how to cultivate both sides of her happiness equation, from building deeper connections with others to transforming the ways we communicate with ourselves.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at BetterHelp.com/ThinkFast and get ten percent off your first month.

Episode Reference Links:


Connect:


Chapters:

  • (00:00) - Introduction
  • (02:08) - Defining Happiness
  • (03:21) - The Role of Negative Emotions
  • (04:54) - Balancing Negative and Positive Emotions
  • (05:45) - Positive Communication
  • (07:18) - Improving Self-Talk
  • (09:50) - Deepening Conversations
  • (11:04) - Navigating Difficult Conversations
  • (12:39) - The Power of Gratitude
  • (15:15) - Technology and Wellbeing
  • (18:33) - The Final Three Questions
  • (22:35) - Conclusion

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92. No Regrets: How to Take Risks in Your Communication, Relationships, and Career

92. No Regrets: How to Take Risks in Your Communication, Relationships, and Career

“What people regret over time are things they didn't do. They didn't take that trip, they didn't ask that person out on a date. They didn't start that business,” says former political speech writer and best-selling author Dan Pink. “I think it's because we are slightly over-indexed on risk. We overstate the risk in many circumstances.” On this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, strategic communications lecturer Matt Abrahams sits down with Pink to hear how we should all take more risks and how leaders can inspire others by focusing on the why instead of the how. “There's almost incontrovertible evidence that sense of purpose is the most cost effective performance enhancer that organizations have,” Pink says.  They also discuss the power in taking breaks, which Pink considers part of performance, not a deviation from it. “What we know from many domains is that professionals take breaks. It's not that amateurs take breaks and the professionals don't, it's the exact opposite.” Pink’s latest book is The Power of Regret, How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward.Connect:Premium Signup >>>> Think Fast Talk Smart PremiumEmail Questions & Feedback >>> hello@fastersmarter.ioEpisode Transcripts >>> Think Fast Talk Smart WebsiteNewsletter Signup + English Language Learning >>> FasterSmarter.ioThink Fast Talk Smart >>> LinkedIn,  Instagram, YouTubeMatt Abrahams >>> LinkedIn ********Thank you to our sponsors.  These partnerships support the ongoing production of the podcast, allowing us to bring it to you at no cost.Strawberry.me. Get $50 off coaching today at Strawberry.me/smartBecome a Faster Smarter Supporter by joining TFTS Premium.

30 Touko 202329min

91. Um, Like, So: How Filler Words Can Create More Connected, Effective Communication

91. Um, Like, So: How Filler Words Can Create More Connected, Effective Communication

We’re often advised not to use “um” or “uh”, or “so” and “you know” in our communication. But linguist Valerie Fridland might argue otherwise. “Language is about how we encode both the linguistic message and a social message,” she says. “Crutch words … are really valuable and they have arisen to serve a need.” In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Fridland sits down with host and strategic communications lecturer Matt Abrahams to discuss how and when we use "you know","so", and other filler words. For example, Fridland says, the way we use “um” varies greatly from how and we might use “uh.” And the use of “like,” while deplored by many, actually serves a linguistic function and can provide context and background for a listener.She and Matt also discuss the social linguistic function of vocal fry and whether emojis have a place in business communication. Fridland is a professor of sociolinguistics at the University of Nevada. She's an expert on the relationship between language and society and recently released a new book, Like Literally Dude: Arguing for the Good in Bad English.Connect:Premium Signup >>>> Think Fast Talk Smart PremiumEmail Questions & Feedback >>> hello@fastersmarter.ioEpisode Transcripts >>> Think Fast Talk Smart WebsiteNewsletter Signup + English Language Learning >>> FasterSmarter.ioThink Fast Talk Smart >>> LinkedIn,  Instagram, YouTubeMatt Abrahams >>> LinkedIn ********Thank you to our sponsors.  These partnerships support the ongoing production of the podcast, allowing us to bring it to you at no cost.Strawberry.me. Get $50 off coaching today at Strawberry.me/smartBecome a Faster Smarter Supporter by joining TFTS Premium.

23 Touko 202332min

90. Rethinks:  Brains Love Stories – How Leveraging Neuroscience Can Capture People’s Emotions

90. Rethinks: Brains Love Stories – How Leveraging Neuroscience Can Capture People’s Emotions

In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, lecturer and podcast host Matt Abrahams sits down with David Eagleman, a neuroscientist and the host of the PBS series The Brain, to discuss why our brains are wired for storytelling and how new senses might impact our connection and communication with others.“I’ve always been really interested in this idea of how we can pass information to the brain via unusual channels,” Eagleman says. “We’ve got our eyes or ears or fingertips and our nose, we’re very used to this and we sort of think these are fundamental, but of course, this is just what we’ve inherited from a long road of evolution … It turns out you can push information in the brain in other ways.”Connect:Premium Signup >>>> Think Fast Talk Smart PremiumEmail Questions & Feedback >>> hello@fastersmarter.ioEpisode Transcripts >>> Think Fast Talk Smart WebsiteNewsletter Signup + English Language Learning >>> FasterSmarter.ioThink Fast Talk Smart >>> LinkedIn,  Instagram, YouTubeMatt Abrahams >>> LinkedIn  ********Thank you to our sponsors.  These partnerships support the ongoing production of the podcast, allowing us to bring it to you at no cost.Strawberry.me. Get $50 off coaching today at Strawberry.me/smartBecome a Faster Smarter Supporter by joining TFTS Premium.

16 Touko 202323min

89. Listen, Listen, Listen: How to Build Deep Connections

89. Listen, Listen, Listen: How to Build Deep Connections

Whether you’re trying to build a romantic or professional connection, Rachel Greenwald’s advice is exactly the same. “Focus on how you make someone feel more than you focus on the words that you're saying,” she says. As a professional coach, Greenwald helps people develop better communication skills, from executives in the business world to singles in the dating world. Building deep connections may at times be challenging, but as Greenwald says, it’s ultimately not complicated. “You're demonstrating that you're interested in someone and that you like them,” she says.In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Greenwald and host Matt Abrahams discuss relationship-building tactics like small talk, active listening, communication blindspots, and more.Connect:Premium Signup >>>> Think Fast Talk Smart PremiumEmail Questions & Feedback >>> hello@fastersmarter.ioEpisode Transcripts >>> Think Fast Talk Smart WebsiteNewsletter Signup + English Language Learning >>> FasterSmarter.ioThink Fast Talk Smart >>> LinkedIn,  Instagram, YouTubeMatt Abrahams >>> LinkedIn ********Thank you to our sponsors.  These partnerships support the ongoing production of the podcast, allowing us to bring it to you at no cost.Strawberry.me. Get $50 off coaching today at Strawberry.me/smartBecome a Faster Smarter Supporter by joining TFTS Premium.

9 Touko 202327min

88. Rethinks: Leading From Home – How to Create the Right Environment for Communication

88. Rethinks: Leading From Home – How to Create the Right Environment for Communication

*This episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart won "Best Business Podcast Episode" at the 2023 Webby Awards.* “You’re not going to hit the mark with everybody, but you still need to be mindful of everybody,” says Jonathan Levav, a professor of marketing at Stanford Graduate School of Business. “That’s critical to create an environment where communication is effective.”In this podcast episode, Levav sits down with podcast host Matt Abrahams to talk about how to lead from home and how to foster an environment for creativity, innovation, and collaboration.It’s not just maintaining a company culture, it’s about establishing what that culture is online, Levav says. “How can you encourage those serendipitous conversations that tend to happen in person?”Connect:Premium Signup >>>> Think Fast Talk Smart PremiumEmail Questions & Feedback >>> hello@fastersmarter.ioEpisode Transcripts >>> Think Fast Talk Smart WebsiteNewsletter Signup + English Language Learning >>> FasterSmarter.ioThink Fast Talk Smart >>> LinkedIn,  Instagram, YouTubeMatt Abrahams >>> LinkedIn  ********Thank you to our sponsors.  These partnerships support the ongoing production of the podcast, allowing us to bring it to you at no cost.Strawberry.me. Get $50 off coaching today at Strawberry.me/smartBecome a Faster Smarter Supporter by joining TFTS Premium.

2 Touko 202322min

87. Know What You’re Saying: How Communicating Tests Our Understanding

87. Know What You’re Saying: How Communicating Tests Our Understanding

We’ve all been there — we think we understand something, but when it comes time to explain it to someone else, we flounder.According to Gregory LaBlanc, a lecturer in management at Stanford GSB, attempting to communicate concepts reveals whether or not we properly grasped them in the first place. “If you think you understand something but you're incapable of communicating it, it probably means that you don't really understand it,” he says.For communication to be effective, LaBlanc says it’s not enough to transmit a message. As he and Matt Abrahams discuss on this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, we have to be skilled translators, adept at decoding our ideas and recoding them in ways our audience will understand.Connect:Premium Signup >>>> Think Fast Talk Smart PremiumEmail Questions & Feedback >>> hello@fastersmarter.ioEpisode Transcripts >>> Think Fast Talk Smart WebsiteNewsletter Signup + English Language Learning >>> FasterSmarter.ioThink Fast Talk Smart >>> LinkedIn,  Instagram, YouTubeMatt Abrahams >>> LinkedIn  ********Thank you to our sponsors.  These partnerships support the ongoing production of the podcast, allowing us to bring it to you at no cost.Strawberry.me. Get $50 off coaching today at Strawberry.me/smartBecome a Faster Smarter Supporter by joining TFTS Premium.

25 Huhti 202323min

86. Building Habits: The Key to Lasting Behavior Change

86. Building Habits: The Key to Lasting Behavior Change

Whether you want to read more books or exercise more regularly, BJ Fogg has good news. “Habits are easier to form than most people think,” he says, “If you do it in the right way.”As the founder and director of Stanford's Behavior Design Lab, Fogg has devoted much of his career to researching human psychology, motivation, and behavior. According to him, habit formation isn’t a product of simply doing something over and over again. “It's not a function of repetition,” he says, “it's a function of emotion.”As Fogg discusses with host Matt Abrahams in this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, bringing our behavior in line with our goals is easier than we think — we just have to know the emotional levers to pull.Episode Reference Links:Fogg's Book: Tiny HabitsConnect:Premium Signup >>>> Think Fast Talk Smart PremiumEmail Questions & Feedback >>> hello@fastersmarter.ioEpisode Transcripts >>> Think Fast Talk Smart WebsiteNewsletter Signup + English Language Learning >>> FasterSmarter.ioThink Fast Talk Smart >>> LinkedIn,  Instagram, YouTubeMatt Abrahams >>> LinkedIn  ********Thank you to our sponsors.  These partnerships support the ongoing production of the podcast, allowing us to bring it to you at no cost.Strawberry.me. Get $50 off coaching today at Strawberry.me/smartBecome a Faster Smarter Supporter by joining TFTS Premium.

18 Huhti 202322min

85. Rethinks: Don't Get Lost in Translation

85. Rethinks: Don't Get Lost in Translation

Having to communicate in a language other than our native tongue can be quite a challenge, especially without a script or prepared speech.In this "Rethinks" episode, we revisit Matt's conversation with Kenneth Romeo about specific tactics that non-native speakers can use to handle in-the-moment challenges. Romeo also discusses why letting go of perfection is a key step toward speaking with confidence. Romeo has served as the associate director of the Stanford Language Center and a teacher of English to non-native speakers through Stanford Continuing Studies. Romeo is a professor at Waseda University in Japan. Connect:Premium Signup >>>> Think Fast Talk Smart PremiumEmail Questions & Feedback >>> hello@fastersmarter.ioEpisode Transcripts >>> Think Fast Talk Smart WebsiteNewsletter Signup + English Language Learning >>> FasterSmarter.ioThink Fast Talk Smart >>> LinkedIn,  Instagram, YouTubeMatt Abrahams >>> LinkedIn  ********Thank you to our sponsors.  These partnerships support the ongoing production of the podcast, allowing us to bring it to you at no cost.Strawberry.me. Get $50 off coaching today at Strawberry.me/smartBecome a Faster Smarter Supporter by joining TFTS Premium.

11 Huhti 202316min

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