Grace Based Discipline :: Karis Kimmel Murray [Ep 150]

Grace Based Discipline :: Karis Kimmel Murray [Ep 150]

I know I should parent with grace (a.k.a. “unmerited favor”). But I struggle with how to combine grace & discipline.

When a little guy smacks his brother upside the head, I don’t want to ignore it or explode over it. But I could use some help with alternative responses to be “my best when my kids are at their worst”.

This week’s guest, Karis Kimmel Murray, grew up in the original grace-based home. Her father, Dr. Tim Kimmel, literally wrote the book on grace-based parenting.** As a mom to two girls, Karis knows the challenges of showing both unmerited favor and appropriate boundaries. Particularly since one of her daughters has been diagnosed with ADHD. (I adore reading parenting books by moms who get it!).

In this episode Karis and I talk through some practical ways to approach misbehavior, like her “Basket Method” and “The 10 Year Rule”.

“Those behaviors come from your child but they don’t define your child. It’s not who they are it’s what they are doing right now.”

We also talk about discovering how each family member is wired, using their Kid’s Flag system. And being clear about the rules and expectations in your home. Not making household preferences on par with Biblical/moral law. Her analogy of being a calm “first responder” will stick with me.

Fortunately, Karis has written all these tips and concepts down in a very relatable and hilarious guide called, “Grace-Based Discipline”.

What we chat about:
  • The 10-year rule
  • The theology of parenting
  • Legalism vs. License vs. Grace
  • Karis’ fun “mathematician” analogy
  • Handling discipline crises like first responders
  • The Basket Strategy
  • What does atonement have to do with discipline?
  • What country flag does each family member fly?
  • Clarifying family rules
  • Differentiating household rules from moral/Biblical rules
  • Karis’ daughter’s diagnosis of ADHD and how it impacted discipline
  • The level of offense and the “sushi menu” of consequences
Links Mentioned:

**Amazon Affiliate Link

Jaksot(500)

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Maybe you’ve heard you should read-aloud to your preschoolers, but do you know the benefits of reading aloud to your competent readers? Educators and communication experts have discovered that: “Because linguistic information is best stored in the brain auditorily, children who have had read to them reliably correct and sophisticated language patterns for many years are much more likely to develop competence in written (and verbal) communication skills.” –Andrew Padewa Not only does reading aloud help with communication skills, but families bond while they share a story. All that’s great. But with our busy lives how do we add one. more. thing to our schedules? Well, once again I have good news! This week’s podcast guest, Sarah Mackenzie, has created the “Read-Aloud Revival” podcast and community. She gives moms practical tips and fabulous resources to make reading aloud not only possible, but enjoyable! In this episode, Sarah eases our guilt and helps set realistic expectations for how reading aloud looks. Bonus, she shares great ideas for using audio books that actually give moms a much needed break AND help your kids with their auditory comprehension skills. Cha ching! Can’t wait for you to share your favorite read-aloud books on Instagram this week. Use the hashtag #readaloudrevival and make sure to tag me to so I can see (@GodCenteredMom). What we chat about: Why Sarah starting reading aloud to her kiddos. An easy tip to attach reading with something you do every day. Letting go of unrealistic expectations and ideals of your time reading aloud. Figuring out the “why” behind you want to read-aloud with kids. Realizing that when boys’ hands are busy it doesn’t mean they aren’t listening. Remembering to keep the reading time short and that time adds up over days. Find books that you enjoyed as a kid, not just the ones you think you “should” read. Great ways to use audio books to share the story and connect as a family. Finding community who can support you in your pursuit. Why introverts are drawn to reading aloud to their kids. How to have great conversations with your kids over books you haven’t read with them. Encouragement to just get started reading, don’t worry about creating a formal plan. Links Mentioned: Andrew Pudewa, Director of the Institute for Excellence in Writing Andrew Pudewa’s talk on Nurturing Competent Communicators that inspired Sarah to start the podcast (“With humor and insight, Andrew will share the two easy but unbelievably powerful things you can do to build language patterns and nurture competent communicators in your family.”) Andrew Pudewa on the Read Aloud Revival Podcast, Episode 1 Jim Trelease–“The Read-Aloud Handbook”** “Caught Up in a Story” by Sarah Clarkson** “The Reading Promise: My Father and theBooks We Shared” by Alice Ozma and Jim Brozina** Misty Winkler–simplyconvivial.com Read Aloud Revival Book List–RARbooklist.com or text “Books” 444999 “Little House” audio books read by Cherry Jones Read Aloud Revival membership site–RARmembership.com “5 Questions to have great conversations about books with your kids” pdf **Amazon affiliate links

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