635 - Your Mom's House with Christina P and Tom Segura

Oh my what a good time we have for you here. The Voice, Michael Schiavello superb sports broadcaster and all-around great guy became a world-wide phenom this week when his pronounciation of Danny Mainus' last name sounded more like My Anus and well, hilarity ensued - especially if you are like a 5th grader like we are. Luckily for us, Schiavello is our budy so Tommy gave him a call and got the EXCLUSIVE scoop! Plus Tommy and Tina share their love of Downton, arguing over becoming "dog-Sh*t" people, how Tina's dad handles dogs & problems, World Wrestling Nonsense and more!! This is one of those episodes that will have you wishing you had tighter jeans.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Loka 20161h 22min

Wuss goin on here? Public dicks. How many have you seen? We recap a lifetime of sightings and the way they have affected us. Not only has the OG Ryan Sickler graced us with his feast-like presence we also have Tinas cousin Juli in the Mommy Dome. We talk about drugs that hit ya in a way you didn’t expect (NOT GOOD). We go over different types of Punk music (anarcho, crust, awful, etc.) and how much Christina still hates UB40 (the world’s greatest band?). What do you know about Sister Nancy? Prison dudes love booty and more! Go ahead and bookmark this as one of your favorite episodes yet. Cut holes in your jeans. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Loka 20161h 19min

ATTENTION all Jeans, we hope you can hear this! Sorry for the trouble with 107 - it wasn't me! (It wasn't Blueban either). Can a loving mommy have more than one pair of jeans? Jada-Pinkett Smith sure makes it sound like Big Willie Style has been doing his best to drop his D in as many extras as possible. We discuss whether or not we could tolerate Tina with all her Ricans and Tommy smashin road box. Tina updates you on her Russian teeth fillings and we bring back Fill Her Up/Seal Her Shut with some modern day broads up against some throw-back ho's. Theo gets back on the mic and Would You Rather is at its best - real homerun scenarios. Jeans Out! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Loka 20161h 15min

OH MAH GAWD SERIOUSLLAAHHHH, Maria is here, you guys! This is a dream come true in the Mommy Dome. Tommy's older sister and Starbucks' Enemy Number One, Maria stops by for a chat and she jumps in like a pro. She shares more contempt for more employees of new company's while also getting down with some of the tried and true segments of YMH. Get to know the Maria you thought you knew (she knows Tom's voice) while hearing about her military exploits, how she deals with Top Dog, and conceding that Jane does in fact have better teeth and vision. It's so fun when your jeans get even tighter cause you just washed 'em! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Loka 20161h 22min

Well it's Tommy's Smurfday! What did you get him? Sometimes you eat some stuff and then a lot of brown comes out. That happened to us this week. Also, we recap spending time with OMG Maria and even THAT feels like a work out. Our local Starbucks knows her by name and memorized her order: No DC's there! Tommy has a major dental update - will you press play to experience it?!? Who on God's earth likes milk? You're gross. Denim on denim on denim.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Loka 20161h 1min

These aren't your dad's jeans! We tell you that aging means that your accomplishments aren't noteworthy - deal with it! If your newly single, the secret is New D**K and New P***Y. Do you know what the worst intros possible are that exist for us as comedians? Don't worry, we'll recreate them for you. Do you need healing of any kind? Does your back or arm or teeth or feeling hurt? Please stare into the eyes of Braco. Don't talk to him or ask any quesions. Just look at him and feel his essence (and buy his jewelry) and you may be healed. If you can't stand staring consider going to see Crapzo - he won't talk but will jizz on you. Plus Fill Her/Seal Her Shut completely dead style! Put some jeans on layaway.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Loka 20161h 7min

Get your hands off my penis! All of you! Can you be arrested for simply enjoying a meal? We think, yes. Jeans has t*ts for days and well, buns has d**k for days, ya dig? If you are black and don't have d**k for days would you be a doll and let us know about it? We examine the porn girls voice - could you possible remove that with your implants, please! Tommy trains Tina in identifying who is a suck pig and who isn't, but Tina reveals the secret of what shames and what celebrates giving out the good stuff. Be proud of who you are, pig! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Loka 20161h 1min

The mommies can't add. We know words and we know sounds and we know that catsfish and bass loves frogs cause we're smart. We knows what's to use! But math - no thank you! Tommy is smarter than Tina, but Tina has a big heart. Tommy also has a special gift - he knows from simply glancing at a woman if she is DTF. He knows who is a waste of time and who has jeans that are easy to take off. We go back for Sushi from the lady who enjoys shaming us, but this time we show her who will apply more pressure (pwessha). We have a Brown Talk segment that truly breaks it down. Plus Dental Updates and more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Loka 20161h 2min