166 SelfWork (Second Time Around): Four Ways to Find Your Way Back to Love

166 SelfWork (Second Time Around): Four Ways to Find Your Way Back to Love

Starting off in a new year, knowing it'll be filled with both challenge and celebration, it helps to think you have a solid partnership in your life. But if you have conflict or estrangement or alienation within your relationship, facing a new year can be more than daunting and certainly very lonely. Today we’re going to focus on what can cause these kinds of problems. But as usual, we’re also focusing on “what you can do about it.” I’ll use a couples therapy case from my own practice that shows that even though a problem may seem insurmountable, and like the relationship is over, there are four attitudes and actions that can help you find your way back to each other – and even to love.

Our listener email today is a very poignant one from a young man whose relationship with his mom was rocky due to her being abusive. But now she’s died of a second bout with cancer. And he finds himself pushing away others who love him, except for his two year-old child. He wants to understand his actions, and I’ll do my best to answer his question.

But before going further, let's hear from a great SelfWork sponsor - Athletic Greens who has a great offer for you - as well as bonus product! (I use this every day and it's great!)

Important Links:

Here's the link once again to my new interactive podcast on Fireside Chat! Click here!

Click Here for the fabulous offer from Athletic Greens - now AG1 - with bonus product with your subscription!

Podcast on handling narcissism in relationships

Podcast on loving someone with borderlinepersonality disorder

You can hear more relationship advice and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then clickhere and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

Our Sponsors: * Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.com * Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

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502 SelfWork: The Medical and Mental Trauma of Chronic Invisible Illness with Amy Kurtz

502 SelfWork: The Medical and Mental Trauma of Chronic Invisible Illness with Amy Kurtz

194 million Americans–more than 76 percent of the population–are living with chronic illness. Many eventually stabilize, but what happens when the body heals and you still don’t feel safe inside it? ...

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Introducing How To!: “How To Take Psychedelics for Your Mental Health with Dr. Will Van Derveer”

Introducing How To!: “How To Take Psychedelics for Your Mental Health with Dr. Will Van Derveer”

This week we’re sharing a special episode from our friends at How To!, the 2026 Ambie Award-nominated “Best Personal Growth Podcast” that’s back with a new host and new topics to fuel your curiosity. ...

9 Kesä 44min

501 SelfWork: Cultural Humility: What It Takes To Walk in Someone Else's Shoes

501 SelfWork: Cultural Humility: What It Takes To Walk in Someone Else's Shoes

Dr. Margaret focuses today on the vital importance of what’s termed “cultural humility” as she responds to a listener voicemail, pointing out that as she’s a white person, her advice comes from a plac...

5 Kesä 22min

500 SelfWork: Paul Gilmartin On Healing from Maternal Sexual Abuse

500 SelfWork: Paul Gilmartin On Healing from Maternal Sexual Abuse

It’s a little hard to describe Paul Gilmartin. He's worked as a stand-up comic. He makes furniture. And he's a maternal abuse survivor. To add to that, he was one of the first hosts of the TBS show ...

28 Touko 46min

499 SelfWork: Emotional Martyrdom: It's Different Than Self-Sacrifice

499 SelfWork: Emotional Martyrdom: It's Different Than Self-Sacrifice

Recently, I got a comment on the questionnaire blogpost on perfectly hidden depression - from a woman whose every word convinced me that there are too many people in the world who believe it's their j...

22 Touko 22min

498 SelfWork: Plastic Surgery: Understanding Its Psychological Side with Dr. Rady Rahban

498 SelfWork: Plastic Surgery: Understanding Its Psychological Side with Dr. Rady Rahban

Today we're focusing on the psychological side of plastic surgery. This interview with renowned plastic surgeon Dr. Rady Rahban answers all your questions about the psychological side of choosing both...

15 Touko 44min

497 SelfWork: What's The Current Controversy Over What "Licensed Mental Health Professional" Means

497 SelfWork: What's The Current Controversy Over What "Licensed Mental Health Professional" Means

Today we’ll focus on what it means to be a licensed mental health professional. How are coaches and influencers different from licensed mental health professionals? And how has the rise of therapists ...

8 Touko 24min

496 SelfWork: Restorative Justice: Marlee Liss on Rape and Her Path to Healing

496 SelfWork: Restorative Justice: Marlee Liss on Rape and Her Path to Healing

(Note: We are focusing on sexual assault in this episode of SelfWork. If you have a history of sexual assault, please listen with care.) Today we're going to introduce you to the concept of restorati...

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