Thunder Thighs and Bedroom Eyes, Ep. 10 - On Dr. Sexyfat’s Couch : Candid Conversations on Fantasies, Functioning and Sexual Self-discovery

Hey there, fellow liberationists! Welcome to another episode of "Fat and Fucked" with your hosts, Suzy Hooker and Krista Nabar. In this episode our resident sexpert, Dr. Sexyfat, answers a bunch of listener questions about porn, sexual authenticity, nakedness, and sexual functioning among other things.

Before we dive into the Q&A, let's catch you up on what's been happening. Suzy, who has a resting bitch face (which doesn't mean she hates you, by the way), and Krista, a sex therapist (not a sex educator), start by talking about the concept of Fat Joy and why it is inherently an act of resistance. Experiencing joy in the very bodies we are constantly being told to eradicate is resistance.

The first question we tackle is about concerns regarding the adult film industry and pornography. Krista takes a porn-neutral stance and emphasizes the need for sex education and porn literacy. Next, we explore the topic of SSRIs and their impact on sexual functioning. It turns out that these medications can affect arousal, orgasm, and desire. Krista suggests resetting expectations and being open to new strategies for sexual stimulation.

We then shift gears a bit and delve into body acceptance and fat liberation. Insecurities about our bodies can still arise in intimate situations, even if we are fat liberationists, but it's important not to let them determine our behavior.

We hope you enjoy this episode of "Fat and Fucked" and find some valuable insights along the way. Remember to keep sending us your questions and feedback. We love hearing from you!

FatFabFree@gmail.com or @fatandfuckedpod on Instagram

And If you’d like to support the show you can do so at patreon.com/fatandfuckedpodcast.

Resources

Dear Abby - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dear_Abby

Dan Savage - advice column: https://savage.love/savagelove/

• Known for being fatphobic, but is also racist, misogynistic, transphobic, homophobic, etc. https://blogofstench.livejournal.com/577818.html

• Articles written in Seattle’s The Stranger in which he published a fatphobic article, Fat Liberationist Lindy West published a response calling him on it, he responded by doubling down etc. This took place while he was her editor.

  • Lindy’s response - https://www.thestranger.com/blogs/2011/02/11/6716603/hello-i-am-fat

  • Dan’s follow-up to Lindy’s response - https://www.thestranger.com/blogs/2011/02/14/6753867/hello-im-not-the-enemy

Impact of SSRIs on Sexual Functioning -

Rosen RC, Lane RM, Menza M. Effects of SSRIs on sexual function: a critical review. J Clin Psychopharmacol. 1999 Feb;19(1):67-85. doi: 10.1097/00004714-199902000-00013. PMID: 9934946.

Brene Brown TED Talk on the relationship between vulnerability and connection - https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_the_power_of_vulnerability?language=en

00:08:54 Dr. Sexyfat helps explore sexy topics.

00:15:28 Difficulty getting unbiased info about porn industry. Issues with pay for femmes in industry.

00:18:37 Porn without literacy normalizes harmful sexual scripts.

00:22:17 Ethical porn pays actors, ensures diversity, authenticity, and better experience.

00:31:51 Spontaneous vs. Responsive desire

00:32:49 Understanding sexual desire, exploring changes, resetting expectations.

00:43:12 Authenticity, connection, vulnerability, trust in dating.

00:46:29 Talking about sex, values, and timing of milestones in relationships.

00:53:17 Mindfulness exercises to stay focused in sexual encounters.

00:58:19 Mindfulness enhances sexual experience; explore novel activities.