Taking Back Her Brain from Perfectionism

When our focus is being perfect, we no longer leave room for risk even “calculated risks” so we stop ourselves from reaching our potential. We may not even attempt to set goals, or we start goals but never see them through because they didn’t go quote as planned.

Not only does it hold us back from setting, and reaching our goals, it also stops us from being able to have a genuine loving relationship with ourselves and others.

We don’t allow ourselves to be human, we beat ourselves up for “not being productive” for feeling “unmotivated”, “lonely”, “weak”, “unhappy”, “depressed”, “anxious” the list goes on and on. When we don’t allow ourselves room to feel emotions while criticizing ourselves we start resisting our emotions, when we start resisting our emotions we begin the long cycle of buffering, and numbing out of our feelings. Then we become so detached from our body, that we no longer are able to connect to how we are feeling, because we spent so much of our life trying not to feel. The thing about feelings though is one way or another they demand to be felt, either in small increments as they arrive or a volcano of emotion after time of being suppressed, not one easier to feel than the other, however one is easier to manage.

Why do we need to feel our feelings? IF we spend so much time numbing the uncomfortable emotions, we don’t realize it but we slowly begin to make it harder to feel the good and exciting emotions. We end up dialing down all of our emotions.

What if we get to decide that we don’t have to be perfect, what if we get to decide that we would rather live a full life and go after our dreams and goals. What if we weren’t scared of who we really were, because who we really are is amazing and is worthy just as we are. What would you try to do or goal would you attempt if you thought “It might be possible, AND you didn’t have to do it perfectly?”

What relationships would you learn to say no to?

What friendships would you allow yourself to set boundaries?

How would you show up for yourself and others if you didn’t feel the need to control everyone’s feelings? What pressure would be taken off of your shoulders? Because remember, YOU do NOT control other people’s thoughts and feelings, I know this is hard for perfectionists and quote “people pleasers” YOU CAN NOT CONTROL OTHER PEOPLE'S FEELINGS, THOUGHTS, or BEHAVIORS.

What would you do differently if you allowed other people to be responsible for their own thoughts and feelings and you allowed yourself to ONLY be responsible for your thoughts and feelings?

I know that if I never found thought work, if I never found coaching my inner self would still be knocking to come out, and I would still be doing everything to keep her quiet and in the closet. No pun intended. I know now that I am worthy, and who I am is beautiful, and I have so much to offer this world that I wouldn’t be able to give if I was who I thought everyone else wanted me to be. I would be a totally different person that I am not too, because who I was back then, was a person created from fear, self criticism and constant comparison. So I hope this podcast helps you to learn to love yourself, exactly as you are, or who you are meant to be. May you learn to observe your thoughts, and feel your feelings, and be in awareness of why you do what you do.

If you want to dig deeper and learn how to do this work, this deep work of undoing the learning of being a perfectionist or a people pleaser than my 8 week 1:1 coaching program is for you. I tailor the program to your needs, so that you can get the result that you want. So go over to IG, add me Taking Back Her Brain and dm me your email address, or go to the link in my Instagram bio and set up a consultation call. I can’t wait to work with you and do this deep work in learning to love you and show the world exactly who you were meant to be.