Farm Family Dynamics: Breaking the Control Barrier

Inter-Family Communication

• Who is Elaine Froese?
• Certified professional speaker, certified coach, and author with 40+ years of professional speaking, working with farm families, and farm partners
• Her expertise is to discuss what she calls the undiscussabull ™
• Award-winning author - written 5 books over the past 25 years sharing her passion to share simple, practical, and actionable tools with farm families

Communication and Decision Making Moving to the Next Generation

• Listener Question: An episode idea I have, farming with your family. I farm with my grandpa, my dad (Major decision maker), and myself. My wife quit her job this January and is helping on the farm. My dad has a hard time giving up control, and have been struggling with that. Any help or resources you have would be great!
• Is it as simple as making a plan?
• Stop the procrastination now → change is a good process, ask for help in making the changes needs in preserving a happy farm family legacy
• What are the steps you suggest in making a new plan? Who should be involved?
• How do we help farm dads let go of control and stop “micromanaging”
• Does it sometimes stem from fear? What are farm dads afraid of?
• The Father Factor in Farming
• How have fathers influenced their son/daughters beliefs & attitudes in their farm career?
• How can families honor and recognize their dad?
• How are young farmers supposed to be heard?
• Listener Question: I’m a 7th generation farmer in central Virginia. We run a commercial cow calf and custom feeding operation currently. My question is do you all have an episode or could you incorporate into one, family farm salaries? It is a hard topic to discuss and I was just curious of y’all’s input.
• Recent newsletter about hiring for the position not for family?
• The theory of fitting a salary and job description together and having the most qualified member, possibly family, fill that role.
• Who gets to do what on the farm?
• Does family blood line guarantee you a farm job?
• Who is deciding how much each individual gets paid?
• What are the guidelines for confidentiality and openness as the same time?
• HR Department in Corporate World
• When to have the discussion on who gets to be an owner of the farm assets and when?
• Who gets the final say on who does or gets what?
• How to deal with hiring/training for new employees on farms?
• Back to the original question, to you what does it mean to “Embrace the Fight on Your Farm”
• How do you stop conflict on the farm? (or should you not stop conflict?)
• How to decrease the anxiety over the uncertainty of your future?
• Talk with yourself first
• Visit a quiet place that gives you and your spouse joy and energy
• Talk to each of your adult children privately along with their partners or spouses
• Set a date for a family meeting
• Do what you promised you would do
• Celebrate your new mindset
• Then What?
• Listener Question: And lastly what are some different, creative ways in which the future upcoming generations in the family farm have “bought out” their dad or grandparent (or whoever) that are exiting the farm operation?
• Maybe list off a couple of examples & hint at a deeper dive in succession planning episode for the future?

What did we miss?

• Knowing what you know now, what advice would you give yourself or others at 18?
• Summary and Challenge

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