Diagnosis and Shame
Trauma Rewired3 Maalis 2025

Diagnosis and Shame

Receiving a diagnosis can be a life-altering experience, especially when it triggers feelings of shame. Shame can create a whirlwind of emotions—unworthiness, failure, guilt, and loss—which compounds the stress of dealing with a diagnosis. These emotions form a toxic cycle that exacerbates the condition, leading to significant nervous system dysregulation. Often, it's difficult to pinpoint this dysregulation because of our innate resilience in survival mode. That's why it's crucial to bring shame into the conversation when discussing diagnoses, and create a dialogue around its impact.

In today's episode, Elisabeth and Jennifer are joined by Alexandra Harbushka, who has reclaimed her power after a herpes diagnosis and is actively breaking the stigma through her podcast Life With Herpes. Alexandra opens up about the deep despair she felt upon her diagnosis—the hopelessness, helplessness, and belief that she was unworthy of love. This dark cloud clouded her life until she made the conscious decision to change her mindset. By cultivating self-love and nervous system regulation, she was able to take control of her diagnosis and work through the shame attached to it.

Elisabeth and Jennifer also share their personal journeys with mental health and cancer diagnoses, exploring how the emotional journey is similar regardless of the condition. They discuss the steps they took to confront their shame, regulate their nervous systems, and ultimately find empowerment.

Shame wreaks havoc on both our nervous and immune systems. It keeps us hidden, isolated, and paralyzed. When you're faced with something as daunting as a diagnosis, healing the shame around it can seem like an insurmountable task. But it's possible. By connecting with others, regulating our nervous systems, and expressing our emotions, we can shift our perception of a diagnosis from something to be ashamed of to something that can be embraced as a gift.

This episode offers practical strategies for overcoming shame and regulating the nervous system in the face of a diagnosis. If this resonates with you, don't miss it!

Topics discussed in this episode:

  • Alexandra's herpes diagnosis story

  • The small steps Alexandra took to move beyond her "Eeyore phase"

  • The role social survival plays in reinforcing shame

  • Community as a healing antidote to shame surrounding diagnosis

  • How self-sabotage manifests after a herpes diagnosis

  • The cycle of fight, flight, and freeze responses in the face of diagnosis

  • How shame shows up in the body and its physical manifestations

  • Ways to regulate the nervous system and move through shame

  • How shame hides through protective behaviors

  • Uncoupling your identity from your diagnosis

  • Why discernment in sharing your diagnosis isn't the same as shame

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To connect with Alexandra, head to her Instagram page here: https://www.instagram.com/alexandraharbushka

Check out Alexandra's podcast Life With Herpes here: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/life-with-herpes

Learn more about the Neuro-Somatic Intelligence Coaching program and sign up for the next cohort now! https://www.neurosomaticintelligence.com

Get started training your nervous system with our FREE 2-week offer on the Brain Based Membership site: https://www.rewiretrial.com

Connect with us on social media: @trauma.rewired

Join the Trauma Rewired Facebook Group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/761101225132846

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This episode was produced by Podcast Boutique https://www.podcastboutique.com



Trauma Rewired podcast is intended to educate and inform but does not constitute medical, psychological or other professional advice or services. Always consult a qualified medical professional about your specific circumstances before making any decisions based on what you hear.

We share our experiences, explore trauma, physical reactions, mental health and disease. If you become distressed by our content, please stop listening and seek professional support when needed. Do not continue to listen if the conversations are having a negative impact on your health and well-being.

If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health, or in mental health crisis and you are in the United States you can 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. If someone's life is in danger, immediately call 911.

We do our best to stay current in research, but older episodes are always available. We don't warrant or guarantee that this podcast contains complete, accurate or up-to-date information. It's very important to talk to a medical professional about your individual needs, as we aren't responsible for any actions you take based on the information you hear in this podcast.

We invite guests onto the podcast. Please note that we don't verify the accuracy of their statements. Our organization does not endorse third-party content and the views of our guests do not necessarily represent the views of our organization.

We talk about general neuro-science and nervous system health, but you are unique. These are conversations for a wide audience. They are general recommendations and you are always advised to seek personal care for your unique outputs, trauma and needs.

We are not doctors or licensed medical professionals. We are certified neuro-somatic practitioners and nervous system health/embodiment coaches. We are not your doctor or medical professional and do not know you and your unique nervous system. This podcast is not a replacement for working with a professional.

The BrainBased.com site and Rewiretrail.com is a membership site for general nervous system health, somatic processing and stress processing. It is not a substitute for medical care or the appropriate solution for anyone in mental health crisis.

Any examples mentioned in this podcast are for illustration purposes only. If they are based on real events, names have been changed to protect the identities of those involved.

We've done our best to ensure our podcast respects the intellectual property rights of others, however if you have an issue with our content, please let us know by emailing us at traumarewired@gmail.com

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