The Sunday Read: ‘How I Learned That the Problem in My Marriage Was Me’
The Daily9 Maalis

The Sunday Read: ‘How I Learned That the Problem in My Marriage Was Me’

One thing I’ve learned from being married to my wife, Jess, who is a couples therapist, is how vast the distance is between the masks people show to the world and the messy realities that live behind them. Every couple knows its own drama, but we still fall prey to the illusion that all other couples have seamlessly satisfying relationships. The truth about marriage — including my own — is that even the most functional couples are merely doing the best they can with the lives that have been bestowed on them.

This past spring, Jess and I had the first of eight sessions of couples therapy with Terry Real, a best-selling author and by far the most famous of the therapists we’ve seen during our marriage. Real, whose admirers include Gwyneth Paltrow and Bruce Springsteen, is one of a small number of thinkers who are actively shaping how the couples-therapy field is received by the public and practiced by other therapists. He is also the bluntest and most charismatic of the therapists I’ve seen, the New Jersey Jewish version of Robin Williams’s irascible Boston character in “Good Will Hunting” — profane, charismatic, open about his own life, forged in his own story of pain.

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A Republican Congressman From Texas Who Opposes the Wall

A Republican Congressman From Texas Who Opposes the Wall

As the government shutdown approaches its fifth week, a few congressional Republicans are publicly breaking from the president in his push for a border wall. We spoke with one of them. Guest: Representative Will Hurd, Republican of Texas. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

17 Tammi 201919min

William Barr Under Oath

William Barr Under Oath

In a hearing before the Senate Judiciary Committee, William P. Barr, the nominee for attorney general, vowed to protect the Justice Department and seemed to tell senators what they wanted to hear. But was it what the president wanted to hear? Guest: Michael S. Schmidt, who covers national security and federal investigations for The New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

16 Tammi 201927min

Trump’s Pick for Attorney General

Trump’s Pick for Attorney General

William P. Barr, President Trump’s nominee for attorney general, is set to go before senators today for the beginning of his confirmation hearings. What would it mean for the president and the special counsel to have an attorney general who is in charge of the Russia investigation? Guest: Katie Benner, who covers the Justice Department for The New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

15 Tammi 201922min

Dispatches From the Border, Part 1

Dispatches From the Border, Part 1

As the shutdown continues over the president’s demand for a border wall, Annie Brown from “The Daily” joined Azam Ahmed, a New York Times reporter, and Meridith Kohut, a photojournalist, on their endeavor to drive the entire length of the U.S.-Mexico border. Here’s what they saw on the first part of that journey. Guests: Annie Brown, a producer for “The Daily”; Azam Ahmed, the New York Times bureau chief for Mexico, Central America and the Caribbean; and Meridith Kohut, a photojournalist who covers Latin America. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

14 Tammi 201925min

What a Border Sheriff Thinks About the Wall

What a Border Sheriff Thinks About the Wall

A majority of Americans oppose the construction of a border wall. President Trump’s insistence on building it has led to a bitter political impasse and a government shutdown. We spoke with a sheriff on the border who supports the president’s efforts. Guest: Mark Napier, the sheriff of Pima County, Ariz. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

11 Tammi 201923min

The Republicans’ Shutdown Strategy

The Republicans’ Shutdown Strategy

In his latest negotiation with Democrats over the shutdown, President Trump slammed the table and stormed out of the meeting. We look at why his strategy requires giving no ground and forcing Republican senators to stand with him, no matter the cost. Guest: Julie Hirschfeld Davis, who covers Congress for The New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

10 Tammi 201921min

Trump’s Prime-Time Address

Trump’s Prime-Time Address

Millions of Americans watched on Tuesday night as President Trump made his case for a wall on the southern border, and as Democratic leaders dismissed his talk of crisis. Guests: Michael M. Grynbaum, who covers the media for The New York Times, and Mark Landler, a White House correspondent. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

9 Tammi 201923min

Is There a Crisis at the Border?

Is There a Crisis at the Border?

President Trump plans to address the nation tonight about what he calls “the humanitarian and national security crisis on our southern border.” But much of that chaos could be a result of the administration’s policies. Guest: Caitlin Dickerson, who covers immigration for The New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

8 Tammi 201916min

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