The Sunday Read: ‘How I Learned That the Problem in My Marriage Was Me’
The Daily9 Maalis

The Sunday Read: ‘How I Learned That the Problem in My Marriage Was Me’

One thing I’ve learned from being married to my wife, Jess, who is a couples therapist, is how vast the distance is between the masks people show to the world and the messy realities that live behind them. Every couple knows its own drama, but we still fall prey to the illusion that all other couples have seamlessly satisfying relationships. The truth about marriage — including my own — is that even the most functional couples are merely doing the best they can with the lives that have been bestowed on them.

This past spring, Jess and I had the first of eight sessions of couples therapy with Terry Real, a best-selling author and by far the most famous of the therapists we’ve seen during our marriage. Real, whose admirers include Gwyneth Paltrow and Bruce Springsteen, is one of a small number of thinkers who are actively shaping how the couples-therapy field is received by the public and practiced by other therapists. He is also the bluntest and most charismatic of the therapists I’ve seen, the New Jersey Jewish version of Robin Williams’s irascible Boston character in “Good Will Hunting” — profane, charismatic, open about his own life, forged in his own story of pain.

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A Conversation With a Freshman Democrat

A Conversation With a Freshman Democrat

Last week, we looked at the campaign of a candidate who embodied the Democratic strategy for winning the House. This week, she arrived in Washington. We spoke with Abigail Spanberger, a recently elected congresswoman from Virginia, about her first days in the Capitol and what it means to be a Democrat today. Guest: Representative-elect Abigail Spanberger, Democrat of Virginia. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

15 Marras 201823min

The Plan to Discredit the Florida Recount

The Plan to Discredit the Florida Recount

Republicans, seeking to secure the party’s majority and agenda in the Senate, are determined to delegitimize the statewide recount underway in Florida. We look at what Democrats have learned since the last time Republicans used that strategy. Guests: Maggie Haberman, a White House correspondent for The New York Times, and Jeremy W. Peters, who covers politics for The Times and is reporting on the recount from Tallahassee. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

14 Marras 201823min

Diplomacy and Deception From North Korea

Diplomacy and Deception From North Korea

President Trump says the nuclear threat from North Korea is over. But new satellite images of hidden missile bases suggest that the situation has only worsened since his meeting with Kim Jong-un, the North Korean leader. Guest: David E. Sanger, a national security correspondent for The New York Times and the author of “The Perfect Weapon: War, Sabotage, and Fear in the Cyber Age.” For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

13 Marras 201821min

The California Wildfires

The California Wildfires

One of the deadliest and most destructive wildfires in California history is raging in the north of the state, as two others burn simultaneously in the south. Devastating wildfires have already become the new normal for the state. We look at why this feels different. Guest: Kirk Johnson, a New York Times correspondent who covers the American West and is reporting from Paradise, Calif. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily.This episode includes disturbing language. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

12 Marras 201820min

How the Democrats Flipped the House

How the Democrats Flipped the House

In this year’s midterm elections, Democrats were battling for House seats in a range of districts. We look at how the party’s leaders came up with a winning strategy to use across vastly different places. Guest: Kate Zernike and Jonathan Martin, political reporters for The New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

9 Marras 201822min

Why Trump Is Firing Sessions Now

Why Trump Is Firing Sessions Now

After more than a year of mocking his attorney general, President Trump has forced Jeff Sessions to resign. The timing — only hours after the midterm elections — is not a coincidence. Guest: Michael S. Schmidt, who covers national security and federal investigations for The New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

8 Marras 201823min

What Happened in the Midterm Elections

What Happened in the Midterm Elections

The results are in: Democrats gained control of the House, even as Republicans strengthened their hold in the Senate. What does this mean for the next two years? Guest: Alexander Burns, who covers national politics for The New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

7 Marras 201821min

A Field Guide to Today’s Elections

A Field Guide to Today’s Elections

As the country heads to the polls, here are four themes and four races to watch. Guest: Alexander Burns, who covers national politics for The New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

6 Marras 201826min

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