The Sunday Read: ‘How I Learned That the Problem in My Marriage Was Me’
The Daily9 Maalis

The Sunday Read: ‘How I Learned That the Problem in My Marriage Was Me’

One thing I’ve learned from being married to my wife, Jess, who is a couples therapist, is how vast the distance is between the masks people show to the world and the messy realities that live behind them. Every couple knows its own drama, but we still fall prey to the illusion that all other couples have seamlessly satisfying relationships. The truth about marriage — including my own — is that even the most functional couples are merely doing the best they can with the lives that have been bestowed on them.

This past spring, Jess and I had the first of eight sessions of couples therapy with Terry Real, a best-selling author and by far the most famous of the therapists we’ve seen during our marriage. Real, whose admirers include Gwyneth Paltrow and Bruce Springsteen, is one of a small number of thinkers who are actively shaping how the couples-therapy field is received by the public and practiced by other therapists. He is also the bluntest and most charismatic of the therapists I’ve seen, the New Jersey Jewish version of Robin Williams’s irascible Boston character in “Good Will Hunting” — profane, charismatic, open about his own life, forged in his own story of pain.

Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

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The Disappearance of a Saudi Journalist

The Disappearance of a Saudi Journalist

Saudi Arabia’s crown prince has promoted himself to the West as a reformer determined to create a more free and open society. That image is unraveling as a prominent Saudi journalist and dissident remains missing. Guest: Carlotta Gall, the Istanbul bureau chief of The New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

11 Loka 201821min

Who Is Believed and Who Is Blamed?

Who Is Believed and Who Is Blamed?

Across the country, the confirmation of Justice Brett M. Kavanaugh has set off a highly personal debate among women about credibility and culpability. We sit in on two of those conversations. Guests: A group of teenagers in Brooklyn, who shared with us their reactions to the accusations against Justice Kavanaugh; and the reporters Susan Chira and Ellen Ann Fentress, who spoke to Lovetta Green and Crystal Walls, two friends in Mississippi with very different political views. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

10 Loka 201823min

The Dilemma for Red-State Democrats

The Dilemma for Red-State Democrats

Democratic senators in states that President Trump won had concluded that their best path to re-election was to campaign on local issues. Then came the confirmation fight over Justice Brett M. Kavanaugh. Guest: Jonathan Martin, who covers national politics for The New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

9 Loka 201822min

A Supreme Court With Justice Kavanaugh

A Supreme Court With Justice Kavanaugh

Judge Kavanaugh is now Justice Kavanaugh. We look at what the last few weeks mean for the future of the Supreme Court. Guest: Adam Liptak, who covers the Supreme Court for The New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

8 Loka 201822min

What the F.B.I. Found (and Didn’t Find)

What the F.B.I. Found (and Didn’t Find)

The agency has delivered its report on Judge Brett M. Kavanaugh to the Senate. Republicans say it reveals nothing new — but Democrats say it was specifically designed to reveal nothing new. Guest: Sheryl Gay Stolberg, who covers Congress for The New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

5 Loka 201823min

The F.B.I.’s Kavanaugh Investigation

The F.B.I.’s Kavanaugh Investigation

As the F.B.I. shares the results of its investigation into Judge Brett M. Kavanaugh with the Senate, we look at what the scope of the inquiry may mean for his confirmation vote — and why Republicans are changing the way they talk about his accuser. Guests: Michael D. Shear and Peter Baker, who both cover the White House for The New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

4 Loka 201822min

How Trump Really Got Rich

How Trump Really Got Rich

President Trump has long sold himself as a self-made billionaire. But after spending a year studying tens of thousands of pages of confidential records, our New York Times colleagues uncovered new details about the president’s financial history. Here’s what they found. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

3 Loka 201829min

Kavanaugh’s Classmates Speak Out

Kavanaugh’s Classmates Speak Out

The F.B.I. investigation into Judge Brett Kavanaugh is underway. More of his former classmates are now coming forward with personal stories — but it’s unclear whether the inquiry will take those stories into account. Guests: Kate Kelly, a New York Times reporter who attended an all-girls private high school in Washington, and Robin Pogrebin, a Times reporter who was Judge Kavanaugh’s classmate at Yale. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

2 Loka 201826min

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