The Sunday Read: ‘How I Learned That the Problem in My Marriage Was Me’
The Daily9 Maalis

The Sunday Read: ‘How I Learned That the Problem in My Marriage Was Me’

One thing I’ve learned from being married to my wife, Jess, who is a couples therapist, is how vast the distance is between the masks people show to the world and the messy realities that live behind them. Every couple knows its own drama, but we still fall prey to the illusion that all other couples have seamlessly satisfying relationships. The truth about marriage — including my own — is that even the most functional couples are merely doing the best they can with the lives that have been bestowed on them.

This past spring, Jess and I had the first of eight sessions of couples therapy with Terry Real, a best-selling author and by far the most famous of the therapists we’ve seen during our marriage. Real, whose admirers include Gwyneth Paltrow and Bruce Springsteen, is one of a small number of thinkers who are actively shaping how the couples-therapy field is received by the public and practiced by other therapists. He is also the bluntest and most charismatic of the therapists I’ve seen, the New Jersey Jewish version of Robin Williams’s irascible Boston character in “Good Will Hunting” — profane, charismatic, open about his own life, forged in his own story of pain.

Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

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Implicating the President

Implicating the President

Michael Cohen, President Trump’s former personal lawyer, pleaded guilty on Tuesday to campaign finance violations — and said Mr. Trump himself had ordered the crimes. Minutes later, Paul Manafort, the former Trump campaign chairman, was convicted of financial fraud in the first trial resulting from the special counsel’s investigation. Guest: Joseph Kahn, the managing editor of The New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

22 Elo 201821min

“Divided,” Part 1: How Family Separations Started

“Divided,” Part 1: How Family Separations Started

The policy began in secret. The Trump administration denied such a policy existed. And when it finally acknowledged that migrant children were being separated from their parents at the border, chaos ensued. Only now is the full picture of what happened and why becoming clear. Guest hosts: Annie Correal, who covers New York City for The New York Times, and Caitlin Dickerson, an immigration reporter at The Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

21 Elo 201833min

Robert Mueller’s Unlikely Witness

Robert Mueller’s Unlikely Witness

The New York Times has found that one of the White House’s own lawyers, Don McGahn, has cooperated extensively in the investigation led by the special counsel, Robert Mueller. And he has shared far more information than the president thought. Guest: Michael S. Schmidt, one of the reporters who broke the story. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

20 Elo 201819min

Nancy Pelosi’s Dilemma

Nancy Pelosi’s Dilemma

Republicans in this year’s elections are casting one person as the symbol of everything that is wrong with the Democratic Party. Many Democrats are also turning on the same figure. Guest: Alexander Burns, who covers national politics for The New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

17 Elo 201823min

A Culture of Secrecy That Perpetuated Abuse

A Culture of Secrecy That Perpetuated Abuse

A grand jury report found that Roman Catholic priests had abused more than 1,000 children in Pennsylvania over a period of 70 years. Some church officials say the report reiterates issues that have already been addressed, but details suggest otherwise. Guest: Laurie Goodstein, a national religion correspondent for The New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily.This episode contains descriptions of abuse. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

16 Elo 201821min

The Economic Cost of Authoritarian Rule

The Economic Cost of Authoritarian Rule

Turkey is on the verge of an economic meltdown that could infect the global financial system. We examine how the country’s slide toward authoritarianism helped trigger the crisis. Guest: Jim Tankersley, who covers economic policy for The New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

15 Elo 201820min

Unearthing the Truth in Myanmar

Unearthing the Truth in Myanmar

The country is accused of waging a state-sponsored campaign of massacre, rape and arson against Rohingya Muslims. Why, then, did the government allow a New York Times journalist to tour the epicenter of the reported atrocities? Guest: Hannah Beech, the Southeast Asia bureau chief of The New York Times, who recently visited Rakhine State, where many Rohingya Muslims once lived. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

14 Elo 201824min

A Year of Reckoning in Charlottesville

A Year of Reckoning in Charlottesville

One year after white nationalists and counterprotesters clashed in Charlottesville, Va., the violence has long ended and the rest of the country has largely moved on. But the broken city is still struggling to contend with its past. Guest: Farah Stockman, who has been reporting for The New York Times on events in Charlottesville since the clashes. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

13 Elo 201829min

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