45: F is For Our Favourite F-Words: F*ck, Fetish, Foursomes, Fellatio & More

Are there things that you feel you 😩 “suck” at in your open or polyamorous relationships?  Perhaps it seems that others are having an easy time and doing it “right” and that you’re the only ones with an all-you-can-ride ticket on struggle bus! Here’s the TRUTH though... Nobody does it perfectly.  Everyone sucks at non-monogamy at some point.  This can happen at the beginning or at any stop along the way in your journey. We know from our own experiences and from the couples and individuals we've worked with. Just when you think you’ve figured it out, something can come along that surprises and challenges you. That doesn’t mean it isn’t right for you. Maybe you, like André admits on this podcast, sucked at monogamy which is why polyamory is a better fit and is worth figuring out. In this episode we talk about the 5 things you can do when opening an existing relationship or exploring polyamory so you suck less! Determining your WHY Building your self-esteem / security in self Getting clarity on what you want and setting up a secure framework for relationship style you want. Establishing yourValues-Based Agreement™ Learning how to communicate effectively! If you want to start in opening a relationship and would like support so you don't suck, for a limited time you can benefit from a focussed intensive coaching experience with us  that will allow you to MINIMIZE your growing pains & MAXIMIZE your pleasure, connection and security. Find out more at 🏁https://go.taraandandre.com/openrelationshipstartup NOW AVAILABLE: Our Poly & Proud & PRIDE gear! https://my-store-f79154.creator-spring.com/ Want to know more about us, the services and programs we offer or book us for your event or podcast? Visit us at: 👉  https://taraandandre.com/

10 Kesä 202435min

In this episode we pick up where we left off in part 1 and take a deeper dive into WHY making a transition to a different relating style of consensual / ethical non-monogamy can be such an issue for couples. These new and unexpected feelings and struggles often come as a surprise as prior to making the change they might have felt secure in what they were doing. If you missed part 1, we shared the 5 essential steps to feel good in making a change in your relationship: ✅ Understanding what makes you want to make the change ✅ Finding clarity around what you want and developing your personal relationship vision ✅ Communication (no surprise this is on the list right?) ✅ Making a plan to implement that vision including agreements you might want to make ✅ Regular reviews and making adjustments as necessary. The program we refer to in this podcast is our 16 week Open Relationship and Polyamory Mastery program which includes 8 modules of training plus direct coaching with us! You can find out more about this program at https://go.taraandandre.com/polyamorymastery You can learn more about us, access free resources and find out about our Poly Newbies Digital Course and other coaching and therapy services on our website at https://www.taraandandre.com/. Get Support: If navigating this transition is causing some unfamiliar big feels that you're having trouble with, or if you need support on another issue, we invite you to book a complimentary Relationship Rescue Call. On this call we will help you unpack what might be the cause of these feelings and give you an action plan of next steps you can take on your own and/or with our support to get you back to that place of fun and pleasure you've always enjoyed in your relationship. You can book that call at https://go.taraandandre.com/relationshiprescue

27 Touko 202443min

Change is exhilarating and exciting, but as you may have experienced, it can also be challenging, especially in relationships! Many of our listeners have shared with us that they are in the midst of making a transition in their relationships, opening up to the idea of polyamory and dating people individually.  These transitions often involve difficult discussions and feelings of insecurity and instability that weren't there before. Firstly, this is NORMAL! As new people enter the picture in closer and more emotionally intimate ways, it can trigger some unexpected emotions. And secondly, as always, we’ve got you! In this episode,⚡️How to Securely Transition Into Different Ways of Doing Non-Monogamy you'll learn five key strategies to create a solid foundation for this transition, helping you feel less scared and much more secure to move forward. If you’d like to make a secure transition in your relationship and address issues that have come up as a result of opening your relationship, book a confidential Relationship Rescue Call with Tara and get your next steps at https://go.taraandandre.com/relationshiprescue. Find out more about us, the services we offer, book us for a talk, and access other great resources at ⁠https://www.taraandandre.com/⁠  The club we spoke at and refer to in this episode is Oasis Aqualounge in Toronto, Ontario, Canada: https://oasisaqualounge.com/ We invite you to subscribe and share a review on any of our podcasting platforms!

20 Touko 202436min

Have you ever found yourself choosing between staying together or splitting up for good? If you're considering changes in your relationship, tune in as we delve into the intriguing question: Is It Time To De-Escalate My Relationship?Because there's other options out there, and we're diving deep into them in this special podcast episode. We kick things off with a heartfelt, unscripted conversation about our own journey in reshaping our polyamorous relationship. Trust us, it's been quite the adventure! 🎢Next up, get ready for a captivating discussion on de-escalating a relationship that we covered before we made this decison where we cover:What is de-escalation and how does it differ from breaking up?Relationship Anarchy and how it might be an option for de-escalation.How to recognize the signs that it may be time for a change.What can de-escalation look like in a non-monogamous relationship.What you can do if you want a change in your relationship but don't want to de-escalate or break up.And finally we go over the steps you can take to de-escalate or modify your relationship in a consensual and loving way including how to approach your partners proactively.If your are considering if it’s time to call it quits, de-escalate your relationship or if you want to dig in and make changes to improve your relationship we’d love to help. Book a confidential call to talk about it with Tara at  https://go.taraandandre.com/relationshiprescue.Find out more about us and the services we offer as well as access some other great resources at: ⁠https://www.taraandandre.com/⁠

13 Touko 202449min

It's a question we often get asked... Can opening my relationship (or monogamous LTR) save my marriage? Conventional wisdom, and perhaps even our own advice in the past, would warn against opening up a relationship as a fix or solution. BUT... the more accurate answer is YES, it could help in some cases. In this episode we explore the possibility of opening your relationship and the many benefits you can gain such as deeper connection, trust, variety, sexual and emotional stimulation and personal growth to name a few. All while enjoying the rewards, security and benefits of being married or in a LTR that you desire. We also share the very unique circumstances and conditions that need to either be in place before you open or that you need to build your “qualifications” in such as fantastic communication, understanding your jealousy, secure attachment and more. If you’d like to open a relationship and are unsure if it will work for you, or if you’ve already opened and feel that perhaps you weren’t quite ready for it, we can help via individual and couples coaching or one of our programs! Book a confidential call to talk with Tara at  https://go.taraandandre.com/relationshiprescue to find out what would be best for you! You can also find out more about us and the services we offer as well as access some other great resources on our website at ⁠https://www.taraandandre.com/⁠.

6 Touko 202454min

🦄Unicorns… mythical creatures or real?  In this episode we talk about UNICORNS in the context of consensual non-monogamy and if if  UNICORN HUNTING can be done in a way that defies this stereotype so that it’s ethical, consensual and feels good for all parties involved! The term unicorn-hunting typically describes the practice of an established couple searching for a third person to engage in either threesomes or triads. You may have seen such couples stating they are “looking for a third”. Often this is a heterosexual couple looking to add a bisexual woman to their relationship who is equally attracted to both of them and interested in whatever arrangement that couple has in mind. Where this can end up being a less than favourable arrangement, in particular for the unicorn, and why searching for a third gets a bad rap is because of the unequal power dynamic that can exist in some cases. Having said this, there are those that LOVE being a unicorn when the conditions are right.  We talk about this and the results of a survey we did of our Let’s Talk Polyamory community members on this controversial topic. We have left this survey open for those who wish to share their views as well - https://forms.gle/4jL3JhYVANRmFo1c9 which we can use for a follow-up episode. Join our Let's Talk Polyamory Private Facebook Group and can share your ideas on the topic of unicorn hunting or start a discussion on a topic of your choice! https://www.facebook.com/groups/letstalkpoly Find out more about us and the services we offer as well as access some other great resources at: ⁠https://www.taraandandre.com/⁠ If you want to talk to us about what's going on in your relationships and what options there are to get support in addressing issues you're struggling with, book a complimentary call with Tara. She'll make sure you leave with the next step you can take to take towards what you want. https://go.taraandandre.com/relationshiprescue

29 Huhti 202456min

Are you putting in effort to keep your sex life 🌶spicyyy or just waiting and wishing for things to change on their own?  This is the final instalment of our podcast series the 5 Ways to Reignite the 🔥Fire in Long-Term Relationships where we cover the 5th way: Doing something different that takes deliberate effort. Because epic relationships, awesome adventures and 🔥hot sex lives don't just appear out of thin air! If you missed the first 3 parts of the series we covered: ✅ Having some distance and spend time apart ✅ Being Present - physically, emotionally and sexually ✅ Interrupting patterns and routines ✅Increasing sexual and erotic energy We recap these in this episode and give more examples too! Here's the link to our Let's Talk Polyamory Private Facebook Group where you can share your ideas on what keeps the fire alive in your relationships or start a discussion on a topic of your choice! https://www.facebook.com/groups/letstalkpoly Find out more about us and the services we offer as well as access some other great resources at: ⁠https://www.taraandandre.com/⁠ If you want to talk to us about what's going on in your relationships and what options there are to get support in addressing issues you're struggling with, book a complimentary call with Tara. She'll make sure you leave with the next step you can take to take towards what you want. https://go.taraandandre.com/relationshiprescue

22 Huhti 202425min

What gets you hot and bothered in the bedroom? In this episode we are continuing our discussion of the 5 Ways to Reignite the 🔥Fire in Long Term Relationships with #4... Increasing sexual and erotic energy! So how exactly do you do that? Maybe it’s being touched somewhere unusual where you’re  not normally touched, or that you don’t normally think of as an erogenous zone?  Like the side of your ankle which André shares a story about.  Or maybe it is something that allows you to prepare and get warmed up for intimacy which Tara shares. We talk about all these things as well as concepts, like responsive desire and how to utilize that and other things to get things hot again! If you missed parts 1 and 2 we talked about: ✅ Having some distance and spending time apart ✅ Being present which includes being physically, emotionally and sexually present with our partners ✅  Interrupting Patterns and Routines If you want to talk to us about what's going on in your relationships and what options there are to get support, book a relationship rescue call with Tara here: https://go.taraandandre.com/relationshiprescue Find out more about us and the services we offer as well as access some other great resources at: https://www.taraandandre.com/ The lifestyle/sex/libertine club we referenced in the podcast is Club L in Montréal, Quebec, Canada. You can find out more about them at https://www.leclubl.com/ The life-changing Cervix Wand that Tara refers in this episode can be found on https://waands.com/products/cervix-wand?ref=taraandandre and you can enter the code TARALYNNEFRANCO to get a 10% discount.

15 Huhti 202438min