Finding Friends, Keeping Them and What To Do When You Break Up: Laura Tremaine

We’re in a brand new series; For the Love of Friends and Community. Friendship and community often serve as the cornerstone for many women's lives, providing a vital support system that nurtures connection, empathy, and mutual growth. In a recent survey from Psych Central, nearly half of most women report having fewer than 3 close friends, one third report having between 4-9 close friends, and 12% say they have no close friends at all. We know that friendship contributes to more satisfaction in life and is good for our overall health. So what’s the key to finding and keeping friends? How many friends do we need to get those good friend vibes? Our guest this week, author and podcaster Laura Tremaine, has written extensively about friendship, drawing from her own experiences and the experiences of other women she has talked to. Laura wants us to identify, create and nurture these deep connections that we long for. She also teaches us that friendship takes work, and vulnerably shares her friendship fails (yes, even a friendship expert has a few friend misses now and again).

Jen and Laura discuss:

• The key qualities that make a friendship meaningful and enduring, and how those things are defined by what you value
• A rundown of the things we all may think are important about friendship and looking at the things that aren’t as important as we’ve been made to believe they are
• How to navigate friendship breakups and friendships ending, allowing grief over that loss, and leaving room for that vacant “chair” to be filled by someone new
• Finding the “fellow obsessive” friend - the one you can geek out about with things that you both love

Creating meaningful friendships is not just about having a social circle. It's about experiencing true companionship and vulnerability and support. And it's these soul connections that can bring so much joy and fulfillment to our lives.

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Thought-Provoking Quotes:

“You can have all the data about why we connect or don't connect or how many people we can reasonably connect with. There's data and then there's actually real life.” - Laura Tremaine

“It's great to have the friends who knew you when. It's also great to have friends who are like, ‘I had no idea you used to be that way and I'm glad we're meeting at this stage.’” - Laura Tremaine

“My friendship with one of my best friends ended not by my choice, and it was as devastating as any romantic breakup I have ever been through.” - Laura Tremaine

“Sharing your stuff, even when it's messy, brings you closer to who you are.” - Laura Tremaine

“When you make a new friend and someone likes this newest version of you that you have fought so hard to be, how validating is that?” - Laura Tremaine

“Friendship is a to-do and I have to put it on my to-do list like I put work tasks on my to-do list.” - Laura Tremaine

Resources Mentioned in This Episode:

Share Your Stuff I’ll Go First (a book by Laura Tremaine)

Friends song by Michael W. Smith

Brené Brown’s Websites

Jamie B. Golden

Steven King Summer (A book club with Laura Tremaine)