230: What if you discovered you were the enemy?

230: What if you discovered you were the enemy?

“It’s just terror, it’s just fear with no object…It’s so purely guttural and instinctive it’s almost like the prey of a tiger…the moment that it knows it’s about to be ripped apart.”


Today's episode featured Neil Woods. You can find out more about Neil by going to neilwoods.net, where you can also find links to his two books: Good Cop, Bad War and Drug Wars, with more about his own experience and about the War on Drugs in Britain. To find out more about his organization, LEAP, or Law Enforcement Action Partnership, go to lawenforcementactionpartnership.org.

Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits

Episode Summary: Growing up with a sense of heroic duty, a man becomes a cop fighting the drug war, when the sobering realities of his job lead him to profound awakening.

Social Media:

Instagram: @actuallyhappening

This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/

Website: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com

Website for Andrew Waits: andrdewwaits.com


Content/Trigger Warnings: near death, violence, suicide, mention of sexual assault, mention of gang rape, domestic violence, explicit language

Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plus

Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening

Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.

Intro Music: "Illabye" – Tipper

Music Bed: Ambient Themes by Nigel Coutinho

Services

If you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255

National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264

National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jaksot(320)

172: What if you were lured into an unspeakable hell?

172: What if you were lured into an unspeakable hell?

“I did have a hard time ever really feeling safe anywhere, and the problem was just that inside of me it wasn’t safe so it didn’t matter where I was.”Producers: Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: After a...

15 Joulu 202057min

171: What if you saw inside the belly of the beast?

171: What if you saw inside the belly of the beast?

“Looking down the barrel of a gun is devastating….Although I was a kid it was very clear that there was lots of hate, and I was kind of frozen.”Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew WaitsEpisode Summary:...

8 Joulu 202037min

170: What if you didn't sleep for 120 hours?

170: What if you didn't sleep for 120 hours?

“It felt like the earth had stopped rotating like I was trapped in this moment of just complete all-encompassing fear.”Producer: Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: A young woman hungry to explore the wor...

1 Joulu 202054min

169: What if you were an Adult Baby Diaper Lover?

169: What if you were an Adult Baby Diaper Lover?

“I would do everything I could that had to happen to engage with this object that I needed to do and then I would bury it….And I had to realize at a certain point that it was just not going to work.”P...

24 Marras 202039min

168: What if you believed you were Jesus Christ?

168: What if you believed you were Jesus Christ?

“It’s like you’ve lost yourself completely, and you’re basically left in a million different pieces.”Producer: Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: A woman self-medicating for anxiety and depression spiral...

17 Marras 202055min

167: What if you had a fetish for disgust?

167: What if you had a fetish for disgust?

“Once I was able to be in control of what I decide is disgusting instead of having that placed on me, that’s what helped me become friends with the feeling.”Producer: Whit Missildine , Andrew WaitsEpi...

10 Marras 202036min

166: What if you didn't have any fear?

166: What if you didn't have any fear?

“The mind almost has to find a way to prove that it’s not real. This cannot be happening.”Producer: Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: After visiting a psychiatrist for mild anxiety, a young man embarks ...

3 Marras 202056min

165: What if you were a blind dominatrix?

165: What if you were a blind dominatrix?

“In these spaces I, as a vulnerable person, am suddenly given the gift of somebody else’s vulnerability.”Producer: Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: Growing up blind and isolated from her peers in a str...

27 Loka 202038min

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