Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805

This is what the Mommy Dome is all about - wearing jeans and having fun. A first timer has joined us who you are all sure to love, the very sweet, very funny, and eerily menacing, John Moore. Sure he's a dead ringer for Ariel Castro, but there's more to John that meets the eye. We cover the phenomenon that is lesbians watching gay, male porn - what? Yes! Is Maya Angelou the greatest human alive? The Dalai Lama? You decide. We also cover John's awesome writing career, singing on planes, and a groundbreaking Dental Update that will shake your teeth to your gums! The Mommies will find John love and hopefully he won't murder whoever he ends up with.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Loka 20161h 25min

Oh, Canada. Oh, Canada, you need more lyrics in your national anthem and PLEASE train your singers when they pipe out OUR national anthem or perhaps they will be decapitated on the ice? Maybe. Hit the high notes, sister! We recap a magical weekend in Portland and Seattle, a weekend that was all about that deep blue color that pumps thru our veins - denim. A special phone call with Joey Diaz unlike any other call you could ever imagine. Diaz, as always, inspires, bewilders, and makes us laugh until we nearly stroke out. BREAKING: We get the inside scoop on the fiasco that was Brendon Walsh's nearly-guest hosting The Tonight Show while Jay Leno was sick. All we can say is, Thank God Jay felt better before Walsh covered for him.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Loka 20161h 14min

Nothing makes our jeans tighter than when a coach verbally abuses his players or the media. Another great man allowed himself to be recorded spittin fire at his team and we love it! We revisit Kai The Hitchhiker who just months ago saved someone from being killed - now HE is wanted for murder. Big BROWN Talk update, plus Old people are just OLD not stupid. We also get Tina's cousin, Sari on the line and reviewing movies (HINT: She's not impressed), a listener Dental Update and more! Hopefully our new tailor can modify our jeans so they can be worn higher.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Loka 20161h 6min

Every mother deserves to squirt. We give YOU the tools to make a flood in your bed, go for it! We revisit the F***ing Camp child who uses BIG WORDS sometimes, like, well, the worst racial slurs - it's amazing. Tommy recaps an anxiety filled weekend with Top Dog and Charo and you get to hear a tease from The Top Dog and Charo Special - they play Tom or Black and it's an instant denim classic. Bert Kreischer is on the phone talking about his dad masturbating and how he gives it to his wife, Lee Ann. Mrs. Kreischer lets us know that Bert is a less than desireable lover, but he bought her a new car so she's staying until 2014. Fill Her Up/Seal Her Shut military movie edition style and more! Pour your mother a drink! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Loka 20161h 7min

Nothing goes in Tina's booty - Well, lets just say NOT MUCH! Hehehehehehehe! We got a Chuck Ramsey update, wussup McDonald's?! What is Richmond, Virginia? Southern? Eastern? Full of murder? We talk about Nazi's AND Slavery. Whoa, that's pretty serious stuff in the Mommy Dome. Don't worry we're soon listening to retarded kids singing. Is that for them or us? Theo's back plus Would You Rather and more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Loka 20161h 6min

Ian Bagg is now a U.S. citizen and we treat him accordingly. We discuss what's permissable to say as a comedian and whether comics should be held accountable for what they say on stage and the culture of today's clubs in general. Also, Indian people will rape you - in large numbers. Loud people on planes should be kicked off and fully investigated by our government, people who dress terribly have something in common with Michael Jordan and nothing in common Liberace - our HERO! Plus the Top Dog and Charo ep is now on sale! When you're Puerto Rican you're Puerto Rican Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Loka 20161h 21min

Remember when you were 10 and you prank called everyone in the phone book? Those were the best of times, but then you matured and realized, hey, that's not a nice thing and also they can now see my number. Well, we haven't grown up so get ready for childish calls about buttholes and black voices! Also, CALLING ALL MUSICAL JEANS! We need your support - send in your tunes and get them played on Your Mom's House. We have an update about the BONUS episode. Oh, iTunes why are you so difficult? Will Smith and Jaden Smith believe in patterns and mathematics and in being completely insufferable. Dental Updates, original music and more? MAAAAAAANNNNN! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Loka 20161h 2min

Musical mommies are abundant! You sent in your tunes and we play some of them, but really, we have to admit that WE are the musical masters. Tina dropped "Animal Song" last time and this time Tommy brings the heat with "Butthole Song". Grammy's are A'callin'. Tight jeans are great, but not if they're low. You gotta pull em up! We're happy to announce that our bonus episode made it to iTunes and you made us #2! When you're Puerto Rican you're just Puerto Rican, especially if it's the Puerto Rican Day Parade! Ay Papi - Duro! The mommies are going on vacation thanks to Tina's pops, plus Candy Crush is DEE-LI-CIOUS. 7AM is a little early to flirt, ya'll!, plus we found a horrible woman who recorded herself being horrible. Keep it Jeansy! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Loka 20161h 10min