Farts Are A Love Language | Your Mom's House Ep. 805

What hurts on you? Your what, your what, your what? That's nice, lady! As the Great Italian pornographer, Rocco says, "You must have both the passion and the chemistry and the focus and not know when the end is here for it to go with what is there." Understand? Peter Caine is our new hero. Don't you dare threaten him and don't EVER leave your dog with a friend. Friends are the worst. Bad songs are evidently existence in abundance. Thank you for filling our inbox with them. Is the Biggie/Beatles debate over? Nope! Who do you side with, Tina's super white/super lame explanation or Tom's hard and black and super real argument?  Gross sexual kinks are fascinating. Do you have one? Please share. And, you know what I'm sayin, we want that GENUINE "Gnam sayin" Know what we're saying? Bossa Nova forever! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

19 Kesä 20141h 5min

Body Talk, yo. What's your body say about you? Do you have towels? Partners? A LOT of time? Get your fitness on, God.  Tina's not playin. She's doing Quadruplethons and she's sponsored by Chili and other premium fitness brands.  We love working out in prison and prison movies too! Chopper and Bronson are doing it real big and with cool accents.  More bad songs, DENTAL UPDATE, WYR and More! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

13 Kesä 20141h 11min

The battle continues! What's the worst song we've ever heard? YOU GET TO DECIDE. Could it be about Ames, Iowa? Maybe. West Saint Paul? Possibly. Chinese Food? Hey, what's happening here? Luckily for you, it's all terrible.  Horses are NOT WELCOME in the Mommy Dome. Get your glue machine out of our faces. Smelly, demon dwellers.  Vietnamese seems like a difficult language. Now try it with a gun to your head. We make it easy!!! Plus we have to navigate how to say a very, um, difficult name to pronounce.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

11 Kesä 20141h 13min

When you bark like a dog, you should BARK LIKE A REAL ENRAGED DOG. Thankfully, we have the man to show you how it's done. Ain't no woof woof over here, kid. Your Jeans have spoken and confirmed what HALF of US already knew - Tommy is pretty close to being the MAIN MOMMY via the Biggie vs Bowie vs Beatles debate.  But then again Tina hasn't stopped making brown for the last few days, so does the MAIN MOMMY CROWN belong on her??? We have more awful songs and examine a Tyler Perry, uh, movie - is that what they're called? It also has a song that could run alongside Summertime and Social. It's BAD meaning BAD.    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

6 Kesä 20141h 7min

DON'T RECORD ME, SON! Stay up, Staten Island. And yo, I heard your girl been giving that stuff out to all dem guys, yo! Who would you rather have playing at your birthday party a leather boy or a B Boy? You're picking sides here, dawg. Tina is eating a lot of veggies and her toots are sending a clear message. Will she respond appropriately???  If you report the news, report it! Say the thing that the guy said. We're adults. We can handle it, jeans.  There are songs galore here and an ALL NEW FILL HER UP that will have you seriously deliberating who to seal shut! Aren't you glad that SUMMERTIME IS HERE. It's the best, right?   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

4 Kesä 20141h 23min

Jason Nash Is Married. This is not only a factual statement, but also the name of a new movie written by, directed by and starring our very special guest, Jason Nash. Tina Jeans became good buds with Nash over the last month as they both filmed the top secret show that you now know about. We love Jason for a lot of reasons, but his honesty about marraige and parenthood might top it all. If his movie is anything like this conversation we cannot wait to see it!  Plus don't look at, approach, pet, whistle towards or think of another persons dog and a HUGE Dental Update from Tina's bestie, amazing audio and more!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

30 Touko 20141h 27min

Somewhere on some street that goes by the name Marquette, the dumbest person alive is walking around recording himself on his phone so that we may document stupidity in all its glory.  This episode is packed, but here's what you need to know: Top Dog AND OMG Maria BOTH have calls. Enjoy! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

28 Touko 20141h 8min

Sometimes when someone screams to F**K someone Right in their P***y they are not who they seem! REJOICE, Tina is back in the Mommy Dome and her jeans are tighter than ever. Will she reveal secrets of her shoot? I don't know. Maybe.  When a LADY gets a massage do Pro men go for the gold and give her that happy ending? Let's discuss. Chuck Woolery is doing A LOT of commercials. A LOT. And they're all for old people that are falling apart. What do they each pay? 11 dollars. Tommy and Tina discuss how many more marriages they'll go thru. More than 3? That seems like too many. Maybe we should just sign a good ol' C*m dog up to hang out around the house. Sean Connery approves!  If you never saw the House of Cosby's do yourself a favor and watch them, Rudy. They are AMAZING, Theo. Eat the pudding slice! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

23 Touko 20141h 5min