Bonus – Disarming the Narcissist: Myths, Truths & Strategies for Healing with Wendy Behary (264)

3 Kesä 20240s

Part 3 of 3 – Let’s talk about deepening security relationally Curiosity, emotional honesty and discernment… magic ingredients to preserve and express your security. Ann and Sue focus on context over the intrapsychic in this episode, which expands on the last thrid of the ideas from their book, Secure Relating Holding Your Own in an Insecure World. Moving from individual to interpersonal and then societal levels, we discuss the complexities of human connection. Ann and Sue touch on the dark side of empathy and oxytocin, explore leadership and the need for nuance in navigating today’s challenges while aiming to expand beyond just the Western lens. Whether it be with your partner or even how you navigate your community – building security helps every single one of us.  They hope to help you do your part in this crucial work of deepening your connection to the goodness of yourself and others and mobilizing your voice to stand up for those who need us. “Our growth does not just happen in the therapy office, it happens through all of our relational experiences and is enhanced by interpersonal risk we take safe people throughout our lives.”  – Sue Marriott Time Stamps for Security Individually, Relationally, and in Community  1:55 – Deeping security among us  4:23 – What is a primary? 9:31 – Why we don’t use the word “treatment” 18:37 – Empathy and Oxitocyn aren’t always good  24:19 – Why receiving opposing feedback is important Resources for Security Individually, Relationally, and in Community  Click here to secure your spot in the Secure Relating Reading Pod – starting soon! You can get your copy here!! Please consider giving to Mental Health Liberation We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that!  We can only do that with the help of our Patrons – joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups, and unique surprises!  We invite you to join our community. Click here to join!  Thanks for listening!  If you haven’t yet please do drop us a rating/review wherever you get your podcasts.  It helps us spread the word about secure relating far and wide – thanks friends for being on this journey with us!

21 Touko 202429min

The party isn’t over quite yet. This is part 2 of 3 of our behind-the-scenes look at our book journey. Following the launch of the book, our virtual party, and our Modern Attachment conference in Austin, TX, Ann and Sue open with gratitude from the event, and for the overwhelming outpour of love and support from our community and those who help inspire this content. As we dive into more chapters of the book, we lean into understanding the attachment spectrum colors, recognizing what is happening internally when we feel activated, and shifting activation levels. “This isn’t about pathologizing – this is about learning the patterns of how our body responds when we get activated and what to do next.” – Sue Marriott Time Stamps for Shifting Activation Levels 00:32 – Trying to process the overwhelming virtual launch with the incredible attachment community 5:02 – Engaging different activation states – looking at Part 2 of Secure Relating 11:02 – Direct look into blue leaning patterns, dismissing attachment activation via Chapter 8 15:32- Understanding the behaviors behind  “blue” with compassion and watching for shame 19:14 – Cooling down red activation – preoccupied patterns via Chapter 9 23:13 – Resolving the unresolved -tye dye patterns and trauma, via a peek into Chapter 10  Resources for Shifting Activation Levels Click here to secure your spot in the Secure Relating Reading Pod – starting soon! You can get your copy here!! TherapyChat – Friend of the podcast, Laura Reagan, LCSW-C’s podcast Support the show by supporting our partners and the sponsors of today’s episode Go to Zocdoc.com/TU  Please consider giving to Mental Health Liberation We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that!  We can only do that with the help of our Patrons – joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups, and unique surprises!  We invite you to join our community. Click here to join!  Thanks for listening!  If you haven’t yet please do drop us a rating/review wherever you get your podcasts.  It helps us spread the word about secure relating far and wide – thanks friends for being on this journey with us!

7 Touko 202426min

It’s finally here! Secure Relating: Holding Your Own in an Insecure World is out now! After years of hard work, Sue and Ann could not be more excited to celebrate the release of their book. Today’s episode offers behind the scene’s conversation and a deeper dive into Part 1 of the book, Secure Relating Holding Your Own in an Insecure World. You can purchase it now directly at www.securerelatingbook.com and get an ad-free podcast feed at www.therapistuncensored.com/join. “We survive because of our innate longing for connection….” – Sue Marriott Time Stamps for Secure Relating: Holding Your Own in an Insecure World  1:45 – Information about our book & book launch 15:25 – Breaking down the three section of the book 29:22 – The armor of the sturdy survivor  31:06 – Sue’s anecdote and analysis of the MMPI test 35:54 – Overview of the Three R Healing Spiral  45:28 – Reflecting and Building Agency  Resources for Secure Relating: Holding Your Own in an Insecure World  Click here to secure your spot in the Secure Relating Reading Pod – starting soon! Want to join the live virtual book launch on 5/1? Sign up here!  You can get your copy here!! Support the show by supporting our partners and the sponsors of today’s episode Check out AG1 at AthleticGreens.com/TherapistUncensored Please consider giving to Mental Health Liberation We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that!  We can only do that with the help of our Patrons – joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups, and unique surprises!  We invite you to join our community. Click here to join!  Thanks for listening!  If you haven’t yet please do drop us a rating/review wherever you get your podcasts.  It helps us spread the word about secure relating far and wide – thanks friends for being on this journey with us!

30 Huhti 202451min

Appreciate this podcast?  Then please, help us reach our goal of 7,000 pre-orders for Secure Relating, Holding Your Own in an Insecure World. Click here to learn more about the conference!! Over 100 episodes after their last interview, Ann and Sue are thrilled to be back discussing all things attachment with Dr. David Elliott. Together they delve into the Three Pillars therapy model development, centered around three key elements: enhancing collaboration, fostering metacognition, and constructing new internal working models through imagery. Dr. Elliott elaborates on how the therapeutic journey prioritizes the therapeutic alliance, perspective-taking, and employing mental imagery to cultivate fresh attachment dynamics. “…the field of attachment is full of wonderful research, researchers, and information – some of which is conflicting, some of which is controversial – but that just means the field is alive and there’s room for lots of people to offer ideas and to evolve the field further.” – Dr. David Elliott Time Stamps for Integrative Attachment Therapy  02:01 – Overview of the Three Pillars 07:11- Limitations of the Therapist as Good Attachment Figure Model 14:42 – Integration and the Evolution of the Three Pillars Model 29:50 – The Use of Mental Imagery in Creating New Internal Working Models 39:46 – Research and Future Directions 47:16 – The Benefits of Sequential Learning 53:47 – The Virtual Book Launch and Community Support 01:00:23 – The Five Conditions that Promote Attachment Security 01:08:09 – Contact Information and Conclusion About our Guest – Dr. David Elliott  Dr. David Elliott is a licensed psychologist who earned his Ph.D. in Psychology from Harvard University in 1989. His clinical training at Harvard included externships at Tufts University Counseling Centerand St. Elizabeth’s Medical Center, as well as a clinical psychology internship and post-doctoral fellowship at McLean Hospital. He has held leadership positions in the Rhode Island Psychological Association and the Coalition of Mental Health Professionals of Rhode Island. Since 1998, Dr. Elliott has been on the faculty of the International School for Psychotherapy, Counseling, and Group Leadership in St. Petersburg, Russia, and serves as Chair of its International Advisory Board. He also teaches at Psykosyntes Akademin in Stockholm, Sweden. Dr. Elliott’s recent focus has been on secure and insecure attachment, culminating in the co-authoring of “Attachment Disturbances in Adults: Treatment for Comprehensive Repair” in 2016. He conducts workshops internationally on the methods outlined in the book for mental health professionals. Resources for today’s episode – Integrative Attachment Therapy Dr. Elliott’s Website Dr. Elliott’s Integrative Attachment Therapy Course Information – Follow this link for 5% off enrollment! Check out Dr. Elliott’s book – Attachment Disturbances in Adults: Treatment for Comprehensive Repair https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/heal-attachment-and-find-security-during-covid/ https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu34-treating-attachment-difficulties-with-dr-david-elliott/ Don’t forget: Register today for the May 2024 Conference – Earlybird pricing ending 4/1/24 Free public talk on Secure Relating in person,  – Click here!! Secure Relating will be in your hands when it’s released 4/30/24 if you order it today! Questions? Email us at info@TherapistUncensored.com _______ Support the show by supporting our partners and the sponsors of today’s episode For listeners of the show, Dipsea is offering an extended 30-day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/TU Please consider giving to Mental Health Liberation We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that!  We can only do that with the help of our Patrons – joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups, and unique surprises!  We invite you to join our community. Click here to join!  Thanks for listening!  If you haven’t yet please do drop us a rating/review wherever you get your podcasts.  It helps us spread the word about secure relating far and wide – thanks friends for being on this journey with us!

24 Huhti 202458min

Meet some of our previous guests at the virtual launch May 1, 2024! Pre-order now to meet David Elliott, Carol George, Tina Payne Bryson and many more! Click here to learn more about the conference!! Do you have your metaphorical sunglasses on? Ann and Sue are back for another deep dive, this time on all things information processing. Using the concept of sunglasses as a metaphor for information distortion, they explain how our internal working models and attachment experiences shape the way we perceive and interpret information. The sunglasses represent different states of activation, with clear glasses indicating a secure state and aviator sunglasses representing a defensive, self-protective state. Sunglasses can affect our relationships – but they don’t have to stop us from building healthy connections. Follow along as we explore the importance of curiosity, self-reflection, and open-mindedness in navigating relationships. “…you can be very responsive to the people around you and their different states, but you’re also equally responsive to your own battery, your own needs, your own wishes, your own frustrations – that matters too.” – Sue Marriott Time Stamps for Information Processing  1:06 – Introducing the metaphor of sunglasses 6:27 – Recognizing information distortion and its impact 12:37 – Understanding positive and negative transference 18:15 – Deep dive into the meaning behind the Aviator sunglasses metaphor  23:28 – The impact of early attachment experiences 35:44 – How our stories can impact the way our nervous system responds 41:01 – Questions can feel threatening neurologically  43:49 – The crazy 8 anecdote  45:51 – Being aware of our own sunglass distortions  Information Processing Resources  Please consider giving to Mental Health Liberation We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that!  We can only do that with the help of our Patrons – joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups, and unique surprises!  We invite you to join our community. Click here to join!  Mental Health Liberation is our primary partner at this time – please consider giving whatever you can to support mental health access for those traditionally left behind and support training for BIPOC therapists. Support the show by supporting our partners and the sponsors of today’s episode!  Go to Zocdoc.com/TU

16 Huhti 202447min

Don’t catch the certainty virus! Collective trauma requires collective healing We can understand our social pain by considering the nervous system, just think of it as a collective amygdala hijack!  Threat is pressing us to live in an alarm state and then we get used to it, as if it’s normal to be so divided, hopeless and disdainful to those who are holding different positions in the world. We need to cultivate secure (mature) relating to move ourselves back into a social, relational place that makes us more generous, compassionate and able to work with complexity to stay engaged to solve some of these pressing world and community issues. Keep hope alive! Ann and Sue delve into the pressing emotional and social challenges confronting our world today. They examine the impact of divisive political rhetoric, the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic, collective distrust, and widespread trauma on individuals and society as a whole. Emphasizing the necessity of self-awareness and accountability, they underscore the role each person plays in contributing to collective healing and regulation. Throughout their conversation, Ann and Sue stress the importance of vulnerability, genuine connection, and the pursuit of healing as essential components of addressing systemic issues and promoting relational solutions. They also tackle the complexities of polarization, advocating for open-mindedness, nuance, and empathy in navigating ideological differences and fostering constructive dialogue. Explore the transformative potential of emotions like anger and the power of connection and love in driving positive societal change. “…if you can get your mind and your body connected and be deliberate about your actions, you’re going to bemore powerful” – Sue Marriott Time Stamps for Collective Dysregulation 1:42 – Reflecting on current events and polarization  4:40 – Sue’s bug analogy from the book  7:55 – Understanding our reactivity  10:15 – We have to go inward and look inward  15:25 – Ann’s anecdote of sitting with the discomfort 17:44 – Tools to “hang in there” and to try to stay regulated 18:46 – Explanation of the “certainty virus”  30:17 – Taking responsibility for our part  32:23 – The need for vulnerability and safety  35:15 – Cultivating safety around you  37:55 – Letting anger inform  48:34 – Holding our own individually and collectively 50:46 – Keeping hope alive  58:31 – Recognizing the signs of collectiveness and collective activation Please consider giving to Mental Health Liberation We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that!  We can only do that with the help of our Patrons – joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups, and unique surprises!  We invite you to join our community. Click here to join!  Mental Health Liberation is our primary partner at this time – please consider giving whatever you can to support mental health access for those traditionally left behind and support training for BIPOC therapists. And of course, our book is also a great resource – it’s for professionals and life-long learners of all kinds. If you’ve read it we’d love to hear from you and if you support it, PLEASE leave a review on either Amazon or Goodreads. Tk you!! Get your copy of Secure Relating here!! Check out our other past and upcoming events here!!

9 Huhti 20241h 1min

“Hypnosis is more like an anti-inflammatory drug, you use it to solve a problem.” Join Dr. Ann Kelley and Dr. David Spiegel as they dive into the benefits and misconceptions of hypnosis. Hypnosis is a state of highly focused attention and cognitive flexibility, allowing individuals to explore new possibilities. Whether it’s trouble with sleep, intense anxiety, or a need to break bad habits, hypnosis has proven to be an effective tool for many. Dr. Spiegel has dedicated years of research and emphasizes the importance of accessibility to hypnosis in our healthcare systems. His app R E V E R I has over 1 million downloads and allows you to rewire your brain, conquer negative habits, and achieve personal growth from home. “…People in hypnosis can turn down that superego part of the brain that says, ‘here’s who you’re supposed to be’and ‘here’s what you were raised to be’ and ‘here’s how you should be’, and just says – ‘What if I were different? What would it feel like?‘“ – Dr. David Spiegel About our Guest – Dr. David Spiegel Dr. David Spiegel is Willson Professor and Associate Chair of Psychiatry & Behavioral Sciences, Director of the Center on Stress and Health, and Medical Director of the Center for Integrative Medicine at Stanford University School of Medicine, where he has been a member of the academic faculty since 1975, and was Chair of the Stanford University Faculty Senate from 2010-2011. Dr. Spiegel has more than 40 years of clinical and research experience studying psycho-oncology, stress and health, pain control, psychoneuroendocrinology, sleep, hypnosis, and conducting randomized clinical trials involving psychotherapy for cancer patients. He has published thirteen books, 404 scientific journal articles, and 170 book chapters on hypnosis, psychosocial oncology, stress physiology, trauma, and psychotherapy. His research has been supported by the National Institute of Mental Health, the National Cancer Institute, the National Institute on Aging, the National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health, the John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation, the Fetzer Institute, the Dana Foundation for Brain Sciences, and the Nathan S. Cummings Foundation. He was a member of the work groups on stressor and trauma-related disorders for the DSM-IV and DSM-5 editions of the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. He is Past President of the American College of Psychiatrists and the Society for Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis, and is a Member of the National Academy of Medicine. He was invited to speak on hypnosis at the World Economic Forum in Davos in 2018. Time Stamps for Hypnosis for Healing 00:15 – Dr. Spiegel’s beginning with hypnosis work  2:30 – What is hypnosis? 2:56 – The myths around hypnosis 5:32 – How hypnosis is different from standard mindfulness? 8:29 – Similarities between hypnosis and mindfulness 13:29 – Effectiveness of hypnosis for sleep and anxiety 23:09 – Understanding the R E V E R I app  31:20 – The effects on smoking with hypnosis 37:20 – Hypnosis and trauma  44:48 – Who is a good candidate for hypnosis? 47:39 – Introduction to the “hypno-pharmacy” on the app  55:23 – Your hypnotizability and genetics 57:13 – Hypnotizability and attachment theory Resources for today’s episode – Hypnosis for Healing Dr. Spiegel’s Website & Profile Publications – The full list of Dr. Spiegel’s publications R E V E R I – Try Dr. Spiegel’s hypnosis app Effect of Psychosocial Treatment on Survival of Patients with Metastatic Breast Cancer – Referenced research article on psychosocial treatment And of course, our book is also a great resource – it’s for professionals and life-long learners of all kinds. If you’ve read it we’d love to hear from you and if you support it, PLEASE leave a review on either Amazon or Goodreads. Tk you!! Get your copy of Secure Relating here!! Check out our other past and upcoming events here!!  Please consider giving to Mental Health Liberation We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that!  We can only do that with the help of our Patrons – joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups, and unique surprises!  We invite you to join our community. Click here to join!  Thanks for listening!  If you haven’t yet please do drop us a rating/review wherever you get your podcasts.  It helps us spread the word about secure relating far and wide – thanks friends for being on this journey with us!

2 Huhti 20241h 4min