KyleFest Returns + The Five-Second Rule Is a Lie

The Headlines:

• Kyle, Texas Prepares for “Kyle Fest” and Another Attempt at the Guinness World Record

• Fyre Festival Postponed Again—No Fire, Just Fizzled

• TikTok Microbiologist Destroys the Five-Second Rule

Kyle Festival Returns Next Month, and Yes, It’s Still All About Kyles

Mark your calendars: Kyle Fest is back! The third annual Kyle Fair: A Tex-Travaganza hits Lake Kyle Park in Kyle, Texas from May 16–18. Expect music, margaritas, fajitas, ribs, and, of course… Kyles.

Yep, the city will once again attempt to break the world record for the most people named Kyle in one place. (They’ve failed twice, but hope springs eternal.)

Highlights this year include music from Bri Bagwell (Texas Female Artist of the Decade) and Stefani Mantiel (2024 Tejano Music Awards Entertainer of the Year). And if your name happens to be Kyle—this might just be your Coachella.
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Fyre Festival 2.0 Postponed Indefinitely (Surprise?)

Just when we thought the chaos of the original Fyre Festival couldn't be topped, the sequel has been… postponed indefinitely. Ticket holders received emails confirming they'll be refunded and get first dibs when (or if) new dates are announced.

Honestly, if you did buy tickets, the real question is: why?
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The Five-Second Rule? Yeah, It’s Total B.S.

A microbiologist on TikTok is ruining snack time for all of us. He ran an experiment placing petri dishes on the floor for different time spans, from one second to a full minute.

The results? All of them showed microbial growth. Meaning it doesn’t matter if you grab that Cheeto in one second or five—it’s probably already got floor funk on it. And weirdly, the five-second dish wasn’t always cleaner than the one-minute one.

Moral of the story: If it hits the ground… maybe just let it go.
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